Keys to deal with grief? [TRIGGER WARNING]

[shesawallflower]

17/11 my life changed forever. I woke up for work and found my mother on the couch who had a stroke through out the night. The ambulance was called and she was rushed straight to the royal melbourne hospital. She suffered a 19mm aneurysm to her brain a well a lot of intense swelling. Whilst on life support on an induced coma in ICU after 3 days she sadly passed away. This was VERY UNEXPECTED I am 26 and my mother was 61. She is my best friend and my everything. The rock to my family. Her death was unfair and so heart breaking. I cannot sleep at night because I think about all the “what if’s”. I find it hard to get out of bed and have been relying on friends to help me rest my brain. I’m often dehydrated and my heart is constantly pounding. Do I need counciling, therapy, a visit to the doctor? I just find each day getting harder and harder.

[quirkywords]

She'sawallflower

I am very sorry that your mother passed away so suddenly.

It is just under 2 weeks ago that you suffered this great loss.

I would be surprised if you weren't finding it hard to get out of bed and finding it hard to sleep.

You have suffered a huge shock. Everyone experiences grief in different ways.

Some research shows the first few months are very difficult .

Months after my dad died i felt so alone because I couldn't tell him important things.

So I started a document on the computer Titled Dear dad. At first i would write every day and it would be very sad and full of loss and grieving. I found writing to him helped me express my feelings and make sense of my life without him.

Some people find talk to a counsellor helps or you may want to wait a while and see how you feel. Do you have a dad or a brother or sister or other relative you can talk to.

Keep posting here if that helps.

Sending kind thoughts

Quirky

[BballJ]

Hi shesawallflower,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother, I cannot comprehend what you must be going through right now but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences and my support to you.

quirkywords has given you great advice above and I really just want to echo it, counselling may be an option for you, it has only been 2 weeks and processing something as life changing as this is never easy. I am a big advocate of talking about how you are feeling because the more you don't, the more it builds up and getting how you are feeling out there I think is somewhat therapeutic, I know you are trying to find ways to deal with this and I am glad you reached out on these forums because it is exactly what they are here for.

I like quirkywords idea about the journal of things to write, it may be an idea just to get your thoughts onto paper.

Please, post back as much as you like, we are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

dear Shesawallflower, I join Quirky and Jay with commiserations for the loss of your mum.
This is the second post I've replied to this morning about children, no matter how old you are, who have lost a parent, this is so terribly sad for you as well as Avara.
Unfortunately it can be a shock when this sad occasion happens because we are never prepared and I don't think that could ever possibly happen.
We just want our parents to continue on for ever, why, because we love them and always need them in times of trouble, we need to talk with them to counsel us, as they have all the experience in the world.
It's never pleasant to see your parents suffer and to grieve it's take time, but cry as much as you want to, no one can ever stop this, plant a tree in commemoration, something you knew she loved, a flowering gardenia or a rose she loved.
My absolute sympathy to you. Geoff. x