Hello Sleepingbeauty,
I'm sorry for your loss. Finding it harder to cope after some time is OK. I know losing someone unexpectantly comes as a shock, but I also found losing some who had been ill of and on over a number of years can also be a shock (I think because we get so used to them coming through, we just expect them to keep on doing it).
There is no one way or set time to grief, I have lost both parents & two brothers, I loved them all yet have grieved differently for each of them. Death & grief are not often talked about in day to day life. It can feel that when the loss is new, people offer support, we take time off work for the funeral etc, then we are supposed to get over it. The truth is there would be very few (if any) who could or would come to terms with the loss of a loved one so quickly.
When trying to be strong for someone else, we can bottle up some of our own grief. I know with my most recent loss that is what I did, I didn't feel able to fully grieve or to deal with my sense that of it wasn't fair he had died so young. It took time & counselling.
Can I suggest you give yourself permission to grieve as you feel you need too and as long as you need too. If your feeling anger/resentment about your Mum's death, or you find your grief too debilitating then please try another Psychologist, preferably one who specialises in grief counselling. Talk to your boyfriend about why you have been taking it out on him, let him help you find a better way to deal with your feelings.
From my own experience the most important thing I would suggest is: talk about your Mum, remember all the things you love about her, share memories of her, through the tears remember the laughter, the good times, even the harder times. Share these with your Dad. You will always miss her, but it will become easier.
Paw Prints
