FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Depressions

KannF
Community Member

So I’m struggling with depression/anxiety  I’ve been on antidepressants for quite sometime now. (I’m not even sure they work) 
i lost my father to suicide and my mother from a seizure.

My father’s side of the family haven’t spoken to me since and it’s been nearly 4 years since my father’s passing. 
I’m still so young but I feel so different from everyone around me.

I constantly feel so alone in this world and lost like no one understands how hard it is to just “keep yourself busy” doing so doesn’t change anything I’m just either extremely depressed or cranky.. & I don’t enjoy anything anymore..

5 Replies 5

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Dear KannF
 
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we can hear you feel constantly alone however we are glad that you felt safe enough to reach out to the online community this evening.
 
We are sorry for your loss KannF, not only for your parents but also for the remaining family who in an ideal world would be there to support you.  It’s a huge weight to bear going this alone and might go so far to explain your experience of depression and anxiety; grief and loneliness have a habit of showing up in a variety of ways.
 
KannF, you mentioned you have been on antidepressants for a while now and that they don’t seem to be having the benefit you were hoping to achieve.  Please reach out to your GP to let them know how you are feeling as there may be options for alternative medication, or therapies to help process those feelings you are having right now. Each day, try to remind yourself of the obstacles you have overcome so far and just how well you are doing under those circumstances, to help we have included some links below for you to explore:
   
In the meantime, if ever you feel up to talking, our fully trained counsellors are also here 24/7 on the other end of the line, on 1300 22 4636 or via our WebChat.
 
It’s great to have you here and thank you again for reaching out, it shouldn’t be too long before you here from one of our lovely community members.  Please be kind to yourself.
 
Regards 
 
Sophie M

Petal22
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi KannF,

 

Im sorry you are feeling this way and I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful parents.

 

Im sorry that your father’s side of the family haven’t spoken to you since his passing I understand this would be hard for you.

 

Sometimes I believe this shows us who belongs in our lives the ones who belong in our lives always will be.

 

Have you thought about speaking to your gp about the way you are currently feeling and what you are experiencing?

 

 

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear KannF~

I'm not surprised you feel lost and alone in the world, and peple have no understanding. Two huge events have taken place and really you will have changed, anyone would. To have suffered grief over your mother's passing and all, I would guess all the different emotions over your dad's suicide fill you. There can be loss, greif, regret, probably guilt and anger to , plus being alone.

 

People that have not had that hardship may well not stander, and their comments only show that up, and the  gap between you and them.

 

Suicide has the unhappy effect at times of bringing out blame and division, rather than drawing people together, so I'm sorry for your having to bear your father's family's silence of top of all the rest.

 

Keeping busy is something I understand as I have done that too, and sure for a whie it works, occupying and distracting. However eventually it became less necessary as I improved.

 

I also had the belief my doctor was always right (I don't think the same now, they are subject ot the same problems as anyone else) and as a result stuck with medications that were a complete waste of time for far too long. After may trials I'm now on a set of meds that suits me and does the job.

 

Can I suggest you go and explain to your prescriber you feel the meds are not working and see what  alternatives are available. If I am anything to go by there may well be room for improvement.

 

I do hope you come back and we can talk some more

 

Croix

 

 

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello KannF, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of both your dad and your mum something only a son or daughter can feel the full extent of what's happened, but I'm not taking away the sorrow and pain others are also feeling as it leaves so many unanswered questions we struggle with.

AD's will not necessarily ease this pain but can certainly help you, probably in ways you don't understand, it's like having a jumper on when it's cold, when you don't you feel the cold, but when you do you feel much better.

It's easy for people to say 'keep busy', but  when you don't want to or simply just can't, then their words of advice mean nothing, because there may be different triggers they don't know about, that could start without anybody's knowledge.

We have to appreciate that not everybody understands how we are feeling, especially after what they believe that four years is long enough to be this way, however they aren't you and don't understand that the only way you can get better is in your own time and with the help from someone who cares.

My Best.

Geoff.

Life Member.

 

Forgive me
Community Member

Hi Kann, 

 

I understand the deep wounds that loss of a parent to suicide can leave behind. I wonder whether it is worth you trying to reach out to your father's family? Most adults should be emotionally strong enough to talk about their fond memories of your father. They may assume that by not talking to you, they are not bringing up emotional wounds for you. Bless them for their ignorance. I know how much it hurts. Remember that your father loved you. He had issues of his own, just like my mother. Bless them, wherever they are, too...

You could ask them if they could play a Father figure role for you.