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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

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Seacat Grieving for people vs Grieving for pets
  • replies: 2

I'm curious as to what you all might perceive as the main differences between grieving for a human vs grieving for a pet.

I'm curious as to what you all might perceive as the main differences between grieving for a human vs grieving for a pet.

Jules292 Overwhelming sadness
  • replies: 15

For the last few months I’ve had a new psychologist, who has really helped me and gave me hope for the future, and she got me, and made me feel accepted and understood. Last week she told me she had resigned from her current position and is leaving. ... View more

For the last few months I’ve had a new psychologist, who has really helped me and gave me hope for the future, and she got me, and made me feel accepted and understood. Last week she told me she had resigned from her current position and is leaving. I am devastated from this loss and feeling overwhelmed with sadness. I’ve still got one more private session with her and two group sessions before she leaves, is it inappropriate to ask her if when she’s settled in her new job, to be able to see her again in that setting? I don’t want to come over as desperate but just need some feedback on this subject, ‘Loss of your Psychologist’. Thanks in advance for your advice and for reading!! Jules292

Kim89 My dog being PTS tomorrow
  • replies: 8

Hi all, I am new here and thought i'd seek some support My dog suddenly took a turn for the worst Friday just gone, she has had joint issues most of her life in which we were managing quiet well with medication. I went away for 3 weeks and left her w... View more

Hi all, I am new here and thought i'd seek some support My dog suddenly took a turn for the worst Friday just gone, she has had joint issues most of her life in which we were managing quiet well with medication. I went away for 3 weeks and left her with my friend she had a great time - 1 week in being back with me she was still doing great being her old self. She is 12 years old we have been to the after hours vet twice over the weekend and her regular vet twice due to her distressed, being uncomfortable, in pain and crying. She was given more pain relief and we thought after the first visit she would bounce back to herself..(normally she would) but she didn't - My regular vet opted to try laser therapy Saturday to see if that helped (of course i was eager to try anything to help ease the pain) and also to visit the pain clinic to look at Nerve Blocking (I did not want to put her through this due to having to redo the procedure every 3-6months if it actually worked) i weighed the pros/cons and came to the decision its not fair to put her through that, and the laser therapy would take time but it wasnt time that my doggy had but we still tried to atleast give a little comfort. On Sunday we went back to the vet (4th visit) and i was a complete mess crying. The vet agreed with me when i meantioned to put my girl to sleep and that was hard to get the words out (my head tells me dont do it! but my heart tells me its the right thing) i cant have her suffer anymore, its not fair shes not getting better. all i can do now is try to keep her comfortable - today we went for another laser therapy session and i asked to book to put her to sleep tomorrow (Tuesday) that was really hard as all my emotion came out. Today i also took my girl to the beach one last time, gave her a plain sundae, potato and gravy (all her favourites!) but now, im just trying to comfort her and i just get emotional, im scared & im scared for tomorrow i dont know how i will cope - i have never experienced this before. i have my partner and hes been great, hes been in my girls life for 10years now so he's feeling the pain aswell. i know soon she will be at peace

Sunsersky My mum has passed away and my dad is in palliative care
  • replies: 1

Hi all, My parents were both diagnosed with terminal cancer, we lost mum a month ago and now dad is back in palliative care. im struggling so much with the loss of my beautiful mum and also having to revisit the hospital/ward she passed away on every... View more

Hi all, My parents were both diagnosed with terminal cancer, we lost mum a month ago and now dad is back in palliative care. im struggling so much with the loss of my beautiful mum and also having to revisit the hospital/ward she passed away on every day to see dad, as well as dads drastic decline in the last few months. im not sure what I’m wanting from this, maybe hope that I can make it through and support to keep being strong. Every day is a struggle and I haven’t had time to process what has happened with mum in between caring for dad.

Rosiegirl93 Lost my best friend my mum
  • replies: 3

Hello im trying to grief for my mum who passed away June 2019 I have to girls aged 4 & 2 and I have my supportive husband I really wanted to connected with anyone that is going through the same thing and help me through my dark days

Hello im trying to grief for my mum who passed away June 2019 I have to girls aged 4 & 2 and I have my supportive husband I really wanted to connected with anyone that is going through the same thing and help me through my dark days

marie93 How long and how much do you support a grieving parent?
  • replies: 1

So my stepdad died two and half years ago at aged 42 due to a cardiac arrest. He was a dad to me for 20 years and also a father to my two teenage brothers that are now aged 15 and 16. When he died I was 23 and I moved back home to support my mum and ... View more

So my stepdad died two and half years ago at aged 42 due to a cardiac arrest. He was a dad to me for 20 years and also a father to my two teenage brothers that are now aged 15 and 16. When he died I was 23 and I moved back home to support my mum and brothers and I did so for 9 months. I struggled coping with my own grief while supporting everyone else’s so I eventually moved to Canada (my mum is Canadian and all of her family is in Canada). My mum was very supportive of this decision and said that she just wants me to be happy. I met a Canadian man and we’ve since moved home to Perth - we’ve been back for almost a year now. My mum is still majorly depressed, not eating properly, barely sleeps, and feels very lonely and like she doesn’t have a support system. I have dealt with anxiety and depression for years, and had a very complicated relationship with my stepdad for a very long time (however I still loved him with all my heart and his absence from my life still takes the breath out of me. I often have dreams about him and wake up hyperventilating and crying). My heart aches and I want to help my mum, but I also want to live my own life and it takes so much effort just to keep my own head above water. So my question is what should I be doing to help her? How much responsibility do I take on for her happiness and wellbeing? I have suggested psychologists many times and she refuses. She says she has too many issues that have been repressed for decades and she wouldn’t survive talking to someone about it. She did start seeing my kinesiologist after my stepdads death and it helps but only does so much. She also isn’t a very social person and because of this has very few friends. She’s also just been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes so she can’t eat so many of the things she loves which I know hasn’t helped. I hold so much guilt over not doing more for her but I’m constantly told by other loved ones in my life that it’s not my responsibility. That at some point she needs to pull herself out. I just don’t know.

Bambi81 Bereaved by suicide
  • replies: 3

Hi there does anyone know of any support groups for people who have lost a family member to suicide? I had two family member die within a few days of each other and looking for a group to join. thank you!

Hi there does anyone know of any support groups for people who have lost a family member to suicide? I had two family member die within a few days of each other and looking for a group to join. thank you!

MyMum My Mum, My Best Friend
  • replies: 4

Hi there I lost my Mum to lung cancer Nov 19. She had been told in September 19 following surgery Jul 18 that she had 5 years. The surgery she had was for a different type of lung cancer. During the operation they cut her Main artery and she lost 3 l... View more

Hi there I lost my Mum to lung cancer Nov 19. She had been told in September 19 following surgery Jul 18 that she had 5 years. The surgery she had was for a different type of lung cancer. During the operation they cut her Main artery and she lost 3 litres of blood and was lucky to survive. Her recovery was slow and she developed a cough. She was put on antibiotics but unbeknown she had developed small cell carcinoma which has a low survival rate. She went in to hospital for a bronchoscopy to determine the cough and development Of atrial fibrillation. I stayed with her for a test (3 day stay in hospital) and she died 9 days later. Iam struggling as she was told in September she had 5 years as the op in July 19 was successful. I was holding her hand when she died. She was my best friend and was 75 and full of life. I have no close friends (ai moved to Vic almost 3 years ago) so feel alone. I'm not sleeping and I focus on things I did wrong over the years rather than the Good times. I beat myself up. I kept a small urn with some of Mum's ashes as she is interred in another state. I hold and kiss the urn daily. I feel I am in denial/shock. I MISS HER.

Pyjamas New baby. Passed away mother
  • replies: 2

Three months ago my mum lost her battle with cancer. All my mum did for the 18 months that she was diagnosed, was talk about the fact she was dying. Every conversation surrounded death to the point that I tuned out to it and then when she did actuall... View more

Three months ago my mum lost her battle with cancer. All my mum did for the 18 months that she was diagnosed, was talk about the fact she was dying. Every conversation surrounded death to the point that I tuned out to it and then when she did actually die, I couldn’t believe it. It’s like I became desensitised to her dying to the point where I didn’t actually believe she would. I coped ok for the first two months. Just did what I had to do. I was more angry than anything else. Then something inside me broke and now I have to take life hour by hour instead of day by day. I’m absolutely miserable. No energy. Showering feels like a massive task. have been to the gp and see a psychiatrist For medication. I’m currently trying a third medication but feel so so low so don’t think it’s helping. Psychiatrist wants me to stick it out another couple of weeks but surely it should have worked by now. I’ve been on it around 6 weeks. I’m miserable. So stuck in my own head with the circling thoughts of “what’s the point in life” “ why are we even here”. I wish there was an off switch. I have three kids, one being only 4 months old and I need to live and not be such a head case but I just can’t function. I barely leave the house these days. Maybe once or twice a week when I absolutely can’t avoid it. I’m so sick of feeling this way and I hate myself for it because I should have the power to turn it off and change but I just can’t.

Ez_22 Lost in grief
  • replies: 2

Hi all I'm new to this forum, and not really sure what to say. I'm just a bit lost and stuck and in a confused space of grief and loss. I lost my partner to suicide 18 months ago. It was a surprise to us. Although she did have some problems in the pa... View more

Hi all I'm new to this forum, and not really sure what to say. I'm just a bit lost and stuck and in a confused space of grief and loss. I lost my partner to suicide 18 months ago. It was a surprise to us. Although she did have some problems in the past and, as I've learned to process since her passing, was a functioning alcoholic. I've spent so much time making sense of things. Processing my sadness and guilt and trying to understand and forgive her... And now I feel like I've lost who she actually was before all this trauma. I'm not really sure how to extrapolate what I have been left with, while also appreciating our life that was. I don't recognise it any more. I am numb to my present. So am stuck. And sad. And sometimes really desperate. Sometimes I am happy. I do have lots of love around me. I feel like I have my head under water, and am content swimming beneath the surface because when I come up for air it's all too much and it makes my head spin. I'm not sure what anyone could possibly say, and I'm not sure that there is anything to be said. I guess I just needed a forum and space to put my feelings into words. It's comforting to read the honest stories and supportive responses. There are a lot of brave people in the world and on this forum. It's inspiring.

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