2 years ago my older sister died in a car crash

[Kels_]

Hi everyone im new to this but im lost and need some help or advice.

so about 2 years ago my older sister died in a car crash she was only 18. It hit me very hard because we were so close. In high school I got support from friends and teachers so I was able to get by but when I left everything suddenly became too much and I kind of stopped caring about everything important and instead spent most of my time going out getting drunk with friends. This year my behaviour is less destructive but instead i've almost withdrawn and struggle to find a reason to get out of bed. I honestly cant remember what it feels like to be happy for a whole day. Ive completely changed i used to always be so happy and full of energy. I've been to my GP and I had counselling for a while but it didn't seem to help and I feel I only said what I thought they wanted me to say. I'm not very big on sharing my feelings I hate the vulnerability. I cant even talk to my friends and family about it so at the moment I just feel so lonely and that nobody understands. I feel so pointless. Can anyone give me some hope for the future that things will get better?

Thanks for taking the time to read, it means a lot.      

[Bec_Tompkins]

Hey Kels, 
I know what you're going through and the best advice i was given was to find small reasons to stick around. You're not pointless and you might not be pointless because you feed your animals every night, or you are not pointless because you clean your loungeroom. It sounds really silly but i've realised that if you take small steps rather than long leaps you'll slowly get better. You'll feel better and people will appreciate your efforts. Do things that will give you worth like cleaning your house or doing things for friends. The little things really help. You were meant to be here.
Take care of you. - Bec

[geoff]

dear Kels, welcome aboard, and sorry as your post is 5 days old.

No words can explain how sorry we feel for you in losing your sister, as the memories of her will always be in your mind.

I think most of us are all the same when we are going through counselling, in that we do tell the psych what we want to tell, which isn't always the whole story, but they are trained professionals and they know what we are doing, so they have their own ways on how they can make us recant.

Looking back now as I had at least 20 years of counselling and taking antidepressants, a large majority of that time I didn't feel as though it was working, go in, come out and then send bill off to work cover, week in, week out.

I needed to talk to someone and didn't want to involve anybody, and when they asked I said it went well.

You can't overcome depression by yourself, you may think that you have, but there are many deep rooted problems which you have avoided, because they are too disturbing to go down that path, so what I am saying is it would be a good idea to try counselling again, maybe with someone else, if you didn't feel as though you clicked with previous psych. Geoff.