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15 years ago a very good friend of mine took her life and I didn't get to say goodbye

Namu
Community Member

Hi all, I just signed up today. I was feeling pretty good until a few days ago. I have my anxious days but there's always a reason for it - uni stress usually. But I read an excerpt of anacquaintances  upcoming book at 1am on a freezing night and it's been my undoing. 

The book is about drug addiction and the piece I read was about a suicide attempt. (Which she was brought back from). 15 years ago a very good friend of mine took her life. She wasn't fortunate enough to be in a public place. She had gone through treatment, rehab and detox during the time I knew her. She decided to move out of the city so we wrote letters and I visited her twice. She was going to meetings and seemed in a good place. But the letters stopped and I couldn't call her. I finally called her mum three months later to find out she had died a week after I last saw her. 

 

I didn't get to say

goodbye at the funeral, I just had I get on with things. It was very sad and weird. But I did get over it. Until I read that piece of a book. As it's all back again. 

 

This week I've teared up at everything. Had a stupid altercation with my stupid neighbour / landlord so home sucks too. My gf is away, my children are with their dad until tonight. I feel lazy and miserable and kinda pathetic right now. 

thanks for letting me just write that out. 

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

 

1 Reply 1

OliveOyl
Community Member

Just want to say I totally understand, I tear up at everything too...it gets so draining huh. I hope your Monday is a better day and you get to smile at least once. And I am sorry you had to go through that awful time with your friend taking her life all those years ago...it's hard when something brings back those feelings x