Worried about too many sick days due to anxiety and depression

[Burgundy3]

Hi,

This is my first time posting here. I've read a few threads on here before and people seemed to be incredibly helpful so I thought I'd reach out with my current situation.

I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for approximately five years or so now and it's recently gotten a lot worse, mainly increasing before or after a shift at work or in the lead up to work. I am only a casual, though I feel incredibly guilty that I have been taking more sick days than normal as a result of depressive episodes and anxiety attacks and I am aware that a lot of people at my work do think I am frequently just 'throwing a sickie'. Yesterday, I went to a doctor who was lovely and helpful, who booked me in for counselling, and recommended that I take a week off work and that, eventually, I try to find employment elsewhere. At the moment, I'm unsure of whether or not to use the medical certificate he gave me as the store (my workplace) has a huge event this weekend and they're probably going to be a little short staffed without me. On the other hand, I do believe that I need some time off to sort myself out.

What should I do? Has anybody else been in a similar situation before?

Thank you.

[PamelaR]

Hi Burgundy and welcome

Work, anxiety and depression sometimes do not mix. I've had working life where I took many sick days. In those days it was never diagnosed as anxiety or depression - just some unidentifable virus. Now it is quite clear many of my days off work were because of these conditions.

It's really great that your doctor has identifed what you have and is giving you the time off. I also realise the importance of loyalty to work and to giving your support to them. This is a great work ethic to have. Sometimes though, the work ethic must be balanced with your life. If it were me I would take the time off - mainly because I know I wouldn't be as good at my work.

Also, being referred to a counsellor is an excellent idea. This may help you improve and to help manage your anxiety and depression. In turn, you might find a decrease in your sick time.

It's unfortunate your work colleagues think you are having sickies. Does your immediate supervisor/manager know what is happening? I never really told anyone - only my boss, mainly she guessed anyway. It took many years for me to reveal to my colleagues (only those I was close with).

You'll find that many of us here have different experiences. What works for one may not work for another. Some may say - not to tell work colleagues or your manager. That will be for you to work through. Some organisations have very good HR practices that support mental health.

Hope some of this helps Burgundy for you to make a decision. Maybe also browse our threads and posts or do a search. There are a number of similar situations as yourself. You're not alone.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Burgundy3]

Hi PamelaR,

Thank you so much for your response, it's comforting to know that other people have experienced similar things. I've also gathered this from reading other posts on here. As I care a lot about how other people see me (probably too much) and come from a family who sees counselling as a waste of time and who puts work ethic above all else, I felt really guilty considering taking the time off and a part of me felt that I should really just be toughening up. However, I have now decided that my mental health should come first, despite anything that anybody in my workplace might think. I have not told my manager what is happening, though I get the feeling some people have noticed my change in mood as I have had one or two people ask 'are you okay' over the last six months, approximately. Though I haven't tried to speak with my boss/manager, he really doesn't seem like the kind of person who would tolerate anxiety as any kind of excuse for an absence. Anyway, thank you so much for your response and for your advice. I am in the process of booking my first counselling session and will give it my all.

Thanks again.

Burgundy3

[DannyG]

Hi Burgundy

i just wanted to post to say I understand how you feel - i was in the same boat as you and as Pamela R says it is different for everyone how they handle their mental health in the workplace. I have not had a good experience with telling my bosses in the past but that doesn’t mean that you will - it is up to you.

however if you feel that your boss would not be receptive to what you have to say or as you say you have tried to talk to him but get the impression that he would not be understanding then my advice is don’t tell him if you don’t feel comfortable. however it’s totally up to you and what you feel is best:)

you have a doctors certificate and that is great that is all you need to share with your work place - I am sick here is my doctors certificate. I understand how you feel also that you feel like you should go to work and that you’re letting down your team I felt like that too! All the time. And I would think I should just ‘make’ myself go in to work. But sometimes that would be a worse idea than staying home because I would not be able to function at work. But I too was raised to ‘grin and bear it’ and ‘you’re not *really*sick’

Its great that you are taking the step to see a counselor. Best of luck with it- just know that you are not alone in feeling like you do many of us here are with you. Take care and do what you feel is best for you.