Will these be the right thing and help ? depression and poss' bipolar .

[Guest_1584]

Hi all.

l can't go into anymore than this but my daughter 19 1/2 has serious depression and anxiety and they suspect mild bipolar. The poor thing had an absolute yr from hell last yr and all friendships she's grown up with and new ones are blown to bits - there's a lot more but she feels her reputation is completely blown - semi country area so you could imagine, add SM, She's been in a terrible way 3mths, mostly in bed , crying, completely down on herself. She's been to doctors and psych and when a bed comes they want to keep her in for awhile. Anyway , it's too hard to go further so please don't ask there's enough there. But there's a few things l'm wondering if they will help and are they a good idea,

Firstly , she racked up 1500 in fines, all way over due so they're probly a lot more now. l've had to sort out my own before and l know what a gruel it is to get pay offs and it all sorted. She's put it off for mths, she can't do anything let alone face those people and all the paper work and calls. So l'm thinking of paying them out and she can just pay me off, done. But is that good idea , or should she try at least to fix them herself ? But l don't even know how she could cope with that right now,

The next thing is , she wants to move away when she's well. Says she can't repair things here and doesn't even want to anyway with most of the so called friends. She certainly couldn't cope away right now but she's never been away or on her own and can't realize how hard and lonely too it will be, She has no one left and loneliness right now is just torturing her but at least she has us and her ex bf she's still friends with. But then l think , well a lot of us moved away late teens early 20s , l back packed round the country 12 mths at 19 totally alone. completely left where l grew up later too. Ex moved cities totally alone at 17 , started nursing . And as l was sayin the other day , not many actually go into adult with child hood friends anyway , most change into different directions.

We don't know, can't stop her if she does later , but would it be a solution , would she get well enough again to cope ?

Thanks for ant thoughts and advice , appreciated. rx

[Guest_1584]

Hi Geoff , and the same to you too my friend thanks so much for dropping in and your words. Funny yeah, never listened to my dad either. We've had lots of talks it's been heartbreaking she's such a mess , and her and her mum have too , but she's her own person and will make her own way when she gets better l guess. And that's how it should be , be great if they took a few tips on board too though wouldn't it eh.

l think the world is so fast now , sm and internet and incredible in your face overload and instant , it's so expensive as hell too and Australia is nanny stated to death too so ya can't get away with anything, l'd be thinking it's much harder now . l believe though too with you n paul it's best she pays off her stuff and it stops with them , it's a lesson we have to learn , but it's just her mental state right now is all.

Thanks for the thoughts on the moving away , l agree when she gets better, but again her mental state and coping is what worries us. But in the end it's not our choice anyway l spose, wanna move myself actually , been delayed a yr now though.

l'll have to come back mate , it's doing my head in right now. But thanks again , hope you know how much we all appreciate your experience and wisdom , thoughts, round here. Hope your ok yourself too mate. rx.

[Guest_1584]

God these mental heath people are just so damn good , so caring , l'em just blown away.

One guy gave me his ah number just encase, such a nice bloke , they call us if my d won't answer, they help us in how to deal with it , so caring tell ya what.

Mind you l'm up in the Great Ocean rd area dunno if the city places would have individual time like this but l'm just blown away, such special people.

rx

[quirkywords]

Random it is so nice to hear positive feedback about mental health workers in your area.
Mental health workers work hard to help people .

[blondguy]

Hey RX

I really feel your pain/anguish with having a daughter that is going through a tough time.....and the parents too!

You underestimate how good a dad you are RX. Yes..its painful yet there is only so much we can do during this time. Can I ask how your daughter is going and if she still has contact with her mum? How are you doing my friend?

Just asking if thats okay RX..Please ignore otherwise...no worries at all

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Hi quirk , and thanks very much. Yeah look they've just been mindbogglingly amazing with their care and help and they're the first ones she's liked and been comfortable enough to follow through with and that's what we've desperately needed for her. And they've helped her mum and l also just massively.

Eh Paul and thanks as always my friend , l know you've been through so much yourself in this department and know where'd l'd be at .And no worries at all yep see's her mum all the time, stays over there or here atm , and ex and l are in touch all the time. Ex set these people up the poor thing after 4 or 5 others , counselors and stuff but they haven't packed the wallop these guys have and d wouldn't even go back to any of them , this was a last stitch attempt and thank God we got her in and she really likes them too. They really know their stuff , even their psychiatrist is just brilliant and d's very comfortable with her too but she's up and down man , little hard to pin it down just yet tbh.

Me , and poor ex wellllll, what can ya say hey, doing our best and yeah trying to look after ourselves as well of course too.

Thanks again , hope you've been ok too mate. rx

[Guest_1584]

Hi my friends , just have some questions as we're at a loss as to what to do, so any advice really appreciated.

Her psych case manager and doctor wanted her to do a mth stay at a sort of hospital come home type place, l forget what they're called. They counsel them everyday and the patient is free to come and go and they also must do jobs around the place and cook and fend for themselves type thing.lt sounded great, just what she needs. Won't go !

They've also given her meds , for bi polar and depression, won't take them !

They were calling her everyday to make sure she's ok and give any counsel she needs, and they still want too ----- she won't take the calls anymore !

She also has wkly appointments for 2hrs at the clinic to talk and counsel and support, won't go !

On good days she chit chats a little a little and sometimes about getting work or into a course and back into life, and she's also finally our of her room more and even gone out a few times and last wkend l talked her into a nice day trip up the coast. She came and talked a tiny bit , not much, but she did wonder of for a look around town up there later in the day, which was a real step for her. But on bad days she won't talk and if we try to support we'll just get snarled at , is really down on herself and any meds or psych help , says what's the point, just watches tv or her phone- least she's out of her room though a lot more which is huge and not crying as much either, even chats a little on good days , even offered to mow the lawn last wk, but she's a fragile as anything , the tiniest thing.

We're just at a loss. How should we be , how should we treat her , should we push her a little to get moving a bit , look for work or browse course , get out of the house , into a hobby ,do some things , small steps ? We just don't know. We've tried it all and also just leaving her be too, just being there, supporting. We just don't know if it's good to nudge things a bit , or just keep supporting or wth to do. And she's nearly 20 is it even our place ? Can we be too supportive is it better to just let her fight her own way out of this , get herself moving ?

Anyway , any advice most appreciated . rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

I havent been on the forums a lot recently yet thanks for replying on the 20th. You mentioned a crucial point..."ex and l are in touch all the time". Excellent

Its sad that your daughter is going through this crappy time RX...Can I ask (if thats okay) what your daughters main symptom or complaint is?.....

Hope you are doing okay my friend...Paul

[Guest_1584]

Gday paul and thanks very much.

They suspect bi polar but to a mild degree , but def' deep depression.

D says she doesn't think she is bi polar and tbh l'm inclined to agree . But she is most def in deep depression .

ps , Just on the fine situation from earlier, atm she's organized a pay of scheme and thk God they're only at 21/2 k all up now - l say only bc if left another 12 mths that would've turned into 5 or 6k so she's started that herself and as long as she makes the payments at least that's sorted. Really proud of her for that it was a big step for her atm.

[blondguy]

Hey RX and always good to see you!

Good news about the earlier situation RX....2.5 is a lot better! Can I ask if your daughter functions reasonably well on a day to day basis?

You are a great dad RX ✔ and doing everything you can to help your daughter...

you rock RX

[Guest_1584]

Thanks mate .

Byt anyway , it depends what you call functioning . As l say she's at least out of her room a bit now after nearly 4mths. But mostly on the couch tv or ph and very little chat. She is eating and showering though and as l said making some small steps on a good day going out somewhere. Mind you, those have often ended badly n in tears again , but at least she tried.