Will I ever get back my ability to cope with stress?

[andi]

Ive always felt like I was a resilient person, shy and introverted but quite capable of coping with whatever life throws at me. Sometimes its dealt some very hard times but I have always picked myself up and carried on. I look back on things, and I have had to deal with a lot of stressors over the years and have had periods of low mood. For example, raising 2 kids entirely on my own, getting a degree while working, then caring for others in my chosen profession. But I have always managed to lift myself out of the depression with a bit of counselling and looking after myself. 

Last year, I completely broke down and felt suicidal. A number of stressors completely overwhelmed me and I could barely function. I have to work, so it took everything that I had just to get through the workday. I did start to get better with some meds, counselling, hypnotherapy and had been fairly stable for the past 3 months. The last 3 weeks have seen a number of different stressful situations,  and I am back to feeling hopeless, no energy, shake when I am in a situation with even a little tiny amount of stress, socially isolated....if I could escape to a hut in the bush where no one could find me I would be happy!

Does this ever end? Will I ever get back my ability to cope with stress?

[Neil_1]

Dear Andi

Firstly, I'd like to wish you a warm welcome to Beyond Blue and to thank you for coming here and providing your post.  Before I go much further though Andi, if that is your bunny, that is cuteness personified.  🙂

My daughter would love it.  As she has two of her own - and one of them is a little black one, the flop eared variety - her name is Koda.

Andi, you asked:  Will I ever get back my ability to cope with stress?   YES, YES, you will.

However, I wish I had a slightly more positive answer to your other one of:  Does this ever end??  I'm not so sure on that one.  But with the coping of stress, yes, there is things to be done.

Wowee, you've had it tough for so so long now and may I say what a magificent effort you've achieved along the way - obtaining a degree whilst holding down a job and a job that lent you to be caring for others and on top of this, and I (we've) got two children (teenage variety) I can say that you've on top of the other, been able to raise two children on your own.  I bow to you.  I don't think I could have done just the children raising thing on my own, let alone the other stuff.  That speaks volumes for what a remarkable person you are.

And then to be battling with this mongrel illness throughout is really hardly fair - and when you're doing that, juggling all the other, it's no wonder when "other" stressors entire your life that it just becomes too much to handle.

Now, for assistance wise on here, we don't need to know what the stressors are for you - but may I ask if anything has changed for you regarding, counselling, meds, those kinds of things?  Has things at work, increased to perhaps unreasonable pressures?

Are you managing to look after yourself as well as you can for the moment and I say that with regard to eating and also, very important is drinking - even in winter - cups of tea or water - dehydration can be a big factor on how one operates.

I'll stop here cause I don't want my response to be too long otherwise, you may nod off and that wouldn't be good.  I do hope that in this first response, that I've said something that might have proved useful to you.

I do hope you can reply back as well, as I'd love to hear back from you.

Kind regards and look after that gorgous cute bunny

Neil

[vip]

Hello Andi OMG where is the mum to these kids of yours?? How remarkable to study work and look after those kids all on your own obviously there is no time for you to go out and enjoy yourself. I have 1 child with special needs and im finding it difficult to manage a house cook clean keep my son happy socialise now and then with friends. So glad you never gave up though like I did 4 yrs ago very silly of me yes because I have done heaps of damage to my son mentally . This little boy is so clingy with me now will not sleep in his bed sleeps with me since I moved back in the family home 2 yrs ago as I went and stayed with my parents because of the physical injuries I sustained . I wont ramble on about myself too much because your situation  is a lot more stressful than mine. I will just say your children should be so proud to have a caring father like yourself not many men would do that or would know what to do in that situation . Ok in regards to bunnies I like these soft toys too but not real ones im not an animal lover haha. Take care

[andi]

Thank you so much for the warm welcome Neil and vip (btw I am female 🙂 ) and yes, the little cutie is my house rabbit. I got her last year when I had the first really bad bout of depression/anxiety and she has helped my emotional health immensely. My real children call her the "golden child" as she gets treated a bit like a princess!

It really is a "mongrel" illness isnt it. You think things are getting better and then bang, its back. Not to mention the toll it puts on people around who may not really understand.

I am feeling just a little more positive today- my medication has been increased and Ive set a couple of little healthy goals for myself but not too much so that I become overwhelmed.

I keep telling myself- I will get better xx

[Neil_1]

Dear Andi

I've gotta say, that I smiled big time when you said your children call your bunny, the "Golden Child" - only cause of her colour.  🙂  🙂  That's funny.  🙂

You know, an increase in medication can have a good effect - especially if you're going ok with that particular type of med in the first place - so that sounds like a good thing for you.

May I ask the ages of your children?

That is a great thing as well - little healthy goals - you've hit the nail on the head there - little goals.  Achievable ones are the ones we need to aim for and have to focus on.  Cause when you do reach it;  it does feel like a land-mark kind of occasion and you should be damn proud of yourself for doing so.  Just little ones and yeah, not too many either.

Andi, I do hope you can stay here for a while, if you'd like too - EVERYONE is welcome here and if you've got things you'd like to share - get off your chest etc, we are a very supportive lot here.

It was great that you got back to us as well.

Kind regards

Neil

[vip]

Sorry Andi  for getting that wrong I know when I first put my name down as sen everyone thought I was a male great your feeling a little better baby steps to recovery all the best