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Why does the depression change you so much?

Roverone
Community Member

Hi.

This is my first post.

My situation is that my wife of 33 years has told me she thinks that she wants to seperate and, although she loves and cares for me she feels no affection.I still adore her.

I have had a breakdown and am on medication and it only works half time. I have an appointment with a psychologist but not for another 2 weeks, but have been using all the material that I can get hold of.

Yesterday I had a number of black out moments that my wife thought was sleep walking. I was talking to myself and gave her a massage in the middle of the night, none of which I remember. I did take a sedative as well and have had bad experiences with it in tbe past.

Last night I read an email to a male friend that I have jealousy issues over and felt there was something going on. There wasn't. I immediately regretted what I did and told her about it.

She has not reacted with anger but we havn't spoken any more about it.

It has been 3 weeks since my breakdown and I have put a lot of things in place that I think will help but it just seems like I take 1 step forward and start to feel better and next thing I am back to where I started from, in tears and shaking etc.

I have not been physically violent with her but I tend to not talk for weeks in the past.

I hope to become a better person with treatment and address all of my past but I have never felt like this before.

Any advice from people as to what I can do that has helped you out I would really appreciate.

Thank you all in advance

 

 

3 Replies 3

Bethie
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi and welcome

Best advice would be don't wait 2 weeks. Go see your GP and talk to them. Explain what's been going on. If your worried that you had blackouts there is 1300mentalhealth. They might be able to explain things and put you at ease. They can also arrange assessments and treatments all billed to Medicare.

Please keep posting good or bad. It' way better than bottling everything up inside

Roverone
Community Member

Thank you for your advise. I have been using all the phone services and they help but it is the uncertainty I suppose.

I have seen my doctor today and has explained a few things as well

Bethie
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi

This might be a long shot but Google traumatic amnesia. Short answer is the brain shuts down certain traumatic events ie your wife saying she thinks you should separate.

My partner is slowly regaining his memory now after alot of small missing pieces he had no recollection of doing before having a total breakdown because I had no idea and just brushed them off as his short term memory being bad.