When you see through the fog...

[james1]

Hello,

Just looking to voice my thoughts and be heard. Sorry, I'm going to be talking in analogy.

For a while in 2016, I was in a super bad place where everything was so foggy, I could only see the here and now, and only one option seemed available to me. The more I fought it, the more the fog seemed to close in. So I stopped fighting and let the fog slowly, painfully, thin until I could see just a little bit further.

I now find myself being able to see a fair way ahead. I'm not just trapped in the now.

It sounds hopeful. But all I see, stretching out, is a damn long path through the trees into more fog, way out ahead. It is hardly comforting, once the house falls around you and you're still alive, to look around and realise you have to clean up the mess and rebuild the house with nothing but your already broken hands.

And if you do it badly, it'll just fall down all over again, as it has done before.

James is tired.

[JessF]

Hello James, I like reading analogies! One thing that comes to mind after reading your post. What if, rather than rebuilding a broken house, you packed up a tent and carried it with you to the next stopping point? Camping in a nice, safe, warm space while riding out the storm, until you have the energy to pack up and move on to the next point in the journey? What is life, other than a journey from place to place, sometimes foggy, sometimes sunny, sometimes joyful and sometimes painful?

[james1]

Hi Jess,

Thanks for your reply. I like that analogy. I just wish the sunny days weren't so few and far between.

My trouble with my borderline personality disorder traits is I'm discovering my way of setting up tent is actually a bit leaky, so I need to relearn how to pitch camp without getting soaked. Apparently my way of thinking and all the habits I've been developing over the years are counterproductive, and I need to relearn them.

Sounds like I need to do a boating course to learn how to patch up a leaking boat while in a storm. 😛

James

[kanga_brumby]

james1 the road we all walk is always in fog. Storms come and go; wrecking a lot of the work we have done. Some of it is salvageable, some not. We have to decide at some point to salvage the bits that are important. Then leave the rest alone. Then we start again, slowly building on what is good for us, as individuals. Plus for the community as a hole. For one has to work hand in hand with the other. It's a slow hard slog. One step forward three back sometimes. Other times ten forward none back would be fantastic.

Kanga