When you feel nothing is going right

[Florek]

Hi all,

so lately my emotions are out of control

not only do I feel like everyone is on a different page then me I know they are

never in my life would I put someone down to feel good about my self, I’ve resentently decovered that no one else seems to think the same way .

I started a new job and found that working with people is way harder then I remember, I am finding it hard and at the moment I’m just not able to cope with the smallest this without bursting into tears 😭

ive always been such a strong person and I don’t understand why this is happening

the last few years has been mentally and physically straining, I’ve been really sick and I don’t mean cancer, but it was bigger then the flu, I went from being able to run to not even being able to stand with out being in constant pain. I’m now at the point I can stand for 15 mins before pain sets in still really can’t walk for to long I get around 20mins before needing a rest but I still can’t shift the weight that was stacked on with all the hormones that were unbalanced .

at that point I was feeling low and angry so I went to see my doc and got some meds they seamed to have worked and I was not as angry or upset all the time, deciding I wanted to make the choice to go of them

I was so wrong I’ve started a new job and the bull that comes with that has sent me on a mental downwards spiral , I spent all last night crying my eyes are so sore today I can barely see what I am typing, i had a script of a mild does of my meds so last night I started on them again 😔 and I’m booked into see a doc on Friday.

im just wanting to talk to someone I just can’t control anything now and I thought if I can have a chat it may help

any one up for a chat ?

[Rabbit33]

Hi Florek, So sorry to hear you're having such a horrible time at the moment.
I think it's a great idea that you have reached out and that you have decided to seek help and open to taking medication again. We all need a little help sometimes. And it's okay not to feel okay.

I would recommend though that you see your doctor before medicating yourself with antidepressants. Even if they were something that you were on previous. But please don't stop and start them as that can be dangerous, unless advised by your treating doctor. Please make sure you do see them as soon as possible.
You may also be able to express to them how you're feeling and get medicare supported psychologist appointments which seems as though you could really benefit from this. The psychologist i see is amazing and has really helped me with my situation and with ongoing support. They have many strategies on coping with depression and overcoming our hurt and anger.

Starting a new job is never easy, i have been there and it can really effect you emotionally, mentally and physically. Just take a big breath and remember that you are doing the best that you can in the situation that you are in and that is awesome! Don't overthink it and don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you're finding the job difficult, you can always speak with a manager and communicate with them how you're feeling and see if they can offer some assistance or provide you with any additional training that may help you cope better with the new job?

Are you in pain from exhaustion or from a physical injury? You mentioned that you had been very sick? Was this ever diagnosed as it sounds similar to chronic fatigue which could have been brought on by glandular fever. If you don't rest, then the body starts to shut-down and you're left feeling exhausted and quite ill most of the time.
I would definitely get this looked into.
It could possibly even be something like lime disease. I'm not overly familiar with it and i'm no professional so i'm just thinking out loud. It can have many undesirable symptoms that are long lasting & mimic other illness.
I think the smartest thing is that you have booked an appointment with your doctor.
Maybe write down a list of things you'd like to bring up with them & how you are feeling at the moment so it is fresh in your mind when you see them.

I really hope you're okay & please know that we're always here to chat & support. U don't have to go threw this alone 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Florek, please let me welcome you to the forums and yes there are a couple of us posting and replying so I hope this may make your situation feel a little bit better.

I'm also very sorry for what you are suffering from, physically and if you have been mistreated verbally is not what you would ever want to happen, unfortunately, it does occur, and it's most unpleasant at any time.

People at times are afraid of taking antidepressants (AD) or the slightest side-effect creeps in which scares them, so they stop taking them, or the alternative is they maybe feeling great and decide to stop, but later on they are back to square one, in company with the black dog.

Don't worry too much about stopping them, just be sure to be in contact with your doctor as soon as you can.

We know how you are feeling, we have all been there ourselves and even some people who are now on the site still suffer from any type of depression, but have found some strength to reply to others.

If you want to you can tell us about what's wrong with you, physically and mentally, please feel as though you can trust us.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi Florek,

I too welcome you to the community here and wish you a Merry Christmas if you celebrate Christmas.

You have received a couple of supportive and caring posts from Rabbit and Geoff.

I would just like to add that maybe if you make a list for each day with suggestions for what you would like to achieve that day may help.

When my thoughts are out of control and I don't feel like I can achieve much, a list is beneficial. I can see what I might be able to achieve. If I don't manage to do things on the list that is okay too! At least I made a list!

Sometimes when people are nasty to us, we have to be nicer to ourselves! Are there ways you can pamper yourself and help to boost your own feelings of self worth?

Hope your day is going okay!

Cheers from Dools

[Florek]

Thanks for you messages

the thing is is someone is mean to you face that I can handle know who I can and can’t trust

it’s when people go behind your back and tell management and elaborate so that it makes them look goood

maybe it’s because I’ve been out of the work environment for such a long time that I was nieave to think that I could fit in and make friends

ive always kept people at arms length - I’ve been burnt so many times, just though I’d give it one more crack / never again will I trust anyone

I just don’t understand why people are like that I would never go behind someone s back, I think people get a kick out of it. Yet again everyone else is aloud an apionion but I’m not story of my life.

But I stuck to guns and gave my apionion and my boss understand why I said what I said and that the only mistake I made was trusting the wrong person

lesson learnt in a very heart breaking way

I’m useley very good at picking up people but they had me fooled

so now I need to make my next move do I stay or quit

who wants to work in a place I can’t trust anyone

[Florek]

When I was sick

I had what they called an internal inflammatory decease basically something your not suppose to get unless you have an std, which I don’t and that was confirmed. I went from wearing my shorts to not being able to do up my shorts by 2-3” the pain was unbearable and weight gain was 20kg over 2/3 weeks that didn’t go down once the infection subsided - as a result I feel in to a depression, thinking once I physically felt a bit better that would subside so after a few years Is when I stoped the meds, but in resent developments I guess it’s something that will be hanging around forever

i still have physical issues but I’m improving i thougt that my mental health was improving too maybe if I’d hadn’t started working or the job did run differently it would have turned out differently but right now it is not all good

[Doolhof]

Hi Florek,

Sorry to read you are in such a state at the moment. Do you have time off work over the Festive Season?

It is really tough when we are deceived by people, when we feel like we are being attacked for no valid reason and feel like we can't trust anyone.

Is it possible for you to continue on at your work place without having to deal with the person who has caused you this trouble?

Are there support people within the work place whom you can talk to if issues arise again?

It sounds like you were able to talk to your boss, maybe you can do that again if you have more issues.

Unfortunately, when we develop negative thoughts about any issue, it can be hard to change those thoughts and feelings around, to find a sense of acceptance that stuff goes wrong and to move on.

Sometimes if a person knows they have upset you, they can continue on with their unhelpful behaviour. In past experiences I have turned around and been very nice to the person who has hurt me. It makes me feel better inside, without so much hurt and pain in my mind all the time.

Hope you can work out a way to stay at work and deal with that person.

Cheers from Dools.

[Florek]

Thank you for your encouraging words - it still makes no sense to me why people have to be that way- my boss was far I guess and did listen to my side

I know that I’m not normally so sensitive to this sort of thing and don’t care what people think of me / I’m just so hurt that they can be such backstabbers in such a short amount of time

it’s been a long and stressful couple of years we’ve lost 2 dogs unexpectly and my sister inlaw suddenly being sick my daughter has had 2. Major injuries and thenall the normal crap in life I guess it has all just chipped away at my mind and has screwed with me too much and now I have no control

it all dosent help when my husband has no idea and always says the wrong thing then says I’m too touchy so I call him an arse and walk away

He has his own issues you would think he’d understand but like he said I’ve always been a strong he doesn’t know how to handle it

it has helped I wanted to do a live chat but this has help

thanks

[geoff]

Hello Florek, you have made a comment which I know about: 'it’s when people go behind your back' how this seems to be so unfair.

I'm terribly sorry that it's happened to you and sometimes it is difficult to know who's done it, but after some time the people are known.

You've had a particularly difficult few years and it's always great to help you as much as we can.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi Florek,

You have mentioned quite a few different issues. If we find it difficult to deal with stuff, it can pile up and casue all kinds of issues with our general health and mental health.

Do you think it might help if you write all of these issues down and then write ways you can deal with them differently perhaps. Maybe, even in the horrid moments, you might find something to be thankful for in each situation. It helps me if I can do that.

You also mentioned a live chat, as you are aware, the forum does not work that way. Beyond Blue does have a Chat Online option from 3.00 p.m. to 12.00 midnight each day you might like to look into. You chat on line and a support worker "chats" back to you. ( they write their reply and you can continue with the conversation that way)

It can be difficult when we feel like our partners are unsupportive or just not able to understand what is happening for us. Can you sit down calmly with him and explain more of what you are feeling and experiencing?

Wishing you all the best!

Cheers from Dools