When everyday life becomes a struggle

[Feeling_Lonely]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here and feel like I have nowhere else to turn. I am 39, female, have been single for most of my life and have recently had what I can only describe as a falling out with my 2 closest friends.

I have been battling feelings of incredible loneliness for a few years now and generally am able to push through my struggles of sadness, anxiety and loneliness to function quite normally. But this year has been awful, I was so happy, had met a new man and had a great circle of friends at the beginning of the year and all have degraded to the point where I feel like I have no one and nothing.

This is now impacting all areas of my life. My work performance has suffered, I have zero motivation to get up and exercise and even leaving the house has become difficult. I feel invisible, like no one cares about me. Because I’ve previously had such an active social life, am adventurous and travel and get out there, everyone assumes that this is still the case. I feel like I have no one to talk to, to open up to, especially due to the loss of my 2 closest friendships in the last month.

I have made my first counselling appointment for Monday but feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown because I have taken that first step in admitting I need help.

How do I get back to the fun loving, carefree person I once was? I feel so alone and this is impacting my ability to put myself out there, even in social circles I once felt comfortable with. How do I meet new people, create meaningful connections and have people in my life I can count on? I feel so lost, am constantly crying and suffering headaches and stomach issues due to the stress of this.

Thank you for reading and I welcome any assistance or advice you can offer.

[Feeling_Lonely]

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and then they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

This is beautiful!! I do know deep down that things will get better (come together) again and I will come back stronger, with more self awareness and understanding of who I am and what I want. I know deep down that only I am capable of making myself feel happy and full of love and I’m working really hard on that... it’s just hard in those down moments to get perspective sometimes. But that’s okay, I’m learning and consider myself a work in progress.

I am learning so much about myself throughout this entire journey, so I have to feel grateful for all I’ve been through. The ups, the downs and everything along the way. I’ve come so far already by addressing issues that plagued me and were probably barriers to me having a healthy relationship with myself and others since my teenage years - definitely feel really proud of myself for that as it’s been confronting, upsetting and just plain difficult to relive.

I also commented on the other post - thanks for directing me there. I’ll check out your other thread too 🙂

The massage was good, painful but good! Ha! Didn’t realise just how tense / stressed I’ve been.

[Birdy77]

Hi FL 😊

Have you had a good day?

Do you sometimes feel emtional after you've had a massage? On the rare occasions I've had massage, i feel like all this emotional stuff is loosened and brought to the surface. And then i feel really tired after? I'm sure we store our emotional pain in our bodies, so it's not really surprising i guess that I've felt that way.

Cool to see you on the other threads 😊

After talking with you last night, i did some tai chi this morning just after sunrise, it felt wonderful, thanks for the inspo.

🌻birdy

[Feeling_Lonely]

Hey Birdy!

How are you? Today has been a much better day for me. I literally feel like I woke up with a little spring in my step! Ha! I feel a little emotionally drained now though as I’ve just gotten home from counselling.

Thats awesome that you did some tai chi! And what a beautiful time of day to do it too. I wish I was more of a morning person, but I’m definitely a night owl.

I cant say I get emotional after a massage, but I have definitely gotten that from yoga. Apparently we hold a lot of emotional stress in our hips, so when I’ve had to hold long hip opening poses, I’ve found myself being brought to tears - slightly embarrassing!

I hope you’ve had a great day!

[Doolhof]

Hi FL, Birdy and All,

Just dropping in to say HI. It would be nice to do some yoga, I might have to see if there are any classes in our region or get my yoga DVDs out again. It is nicer to be part of a class in some ways. Hey FL tears are okay, one time I passed wind...now that was embarrassing!

I enjoy a massage as well. I like it sometimes when the lady does not talk, I find that a whole lot more relaxing just listening to the music and feeling her massage a lot of the pain and tension away. Maybe next time I will say I would like a quiet massage!

Wishing you both a good weekend. Same to all who are reading this.

Cheers from Dools