What to do.

[Guest_17265795]

My husband and I have been suffering with infertility for 2 years. Now it's come to a stage where IVF is the only option. The meds amplify my depression. I feel like a burden to my friends because it's all I can talk about. My husbands away for work and doesn't have coms. I have psych appointments every week. I feel like being at work I make stupid mistakes that are being picked up and I'm under a kind of disciplinary action. I don't sleep well. I feel overwhelmed, exhausted and I don't see things getting better 😭

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

That must be super stressful. Sorry you are going through this ordeal. 

I'd like to talk about "friends". I've had mental health issues all my life but only properly diagnosed in 2009 bipolar, under autism spectrum high functioning etc. So, being a "talker" I've always discussed my issues with other people and shown them high levels of empathy about their difficulties. There are various levels of friends and they cover areas like- empathetic even though they dont have a mental health issue themselves, caring but dont understand, try to understand but cant, discount your topic under the comment "I dont understand that stuff" (which means they dont care to try) nd those that change the topic all the time or worse still object to you raising the subject. I've had them all.

So my approach to this, and it includes all serious topics, is that I'm only interested in friends that are compassionate because my issues are serious and I need their comfort. However, a tip, try to ask them questions before you talk about your problems... how they are travelling etc. It helps.

Psychs are a very big part of recovery no doubt but there is many prongs that contribute towards your mental health like hobbies, sports, clubs and groups. Good sleep is important as well and much underrated. 

IVF would be very worrisome but it is early days and better to relax with relaxation methods, see your GP for that, there could be a group nearby that does that.

A few posts below that might help and feel free to chat further often members do.  

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/a-good-nights-deep-sleep-sleep-apnea-and-cpap/td-p/...

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

TonyWK

[Bookgirl]

Hi, i went through IVF and i have depression and anxiety.  I managed to get through it ok and now have a beautiful 15 year old boy who is the light of my life.  Going through IVF is hard. You have the meds, then you have the anxiety about whether it works or not. People ask you has it worked and if it hasn't you feel bad.  If it has worked you don't want to say anything too early in case something goes wrong.  Although i managed a child its not the case for everyone and also IVF isnt' for everyone.  I fell pregnant first time. I know someone who went over 20 times and i cannot imagine that.  You have to decide your limits with your husband.  Its hard but hang in there because if works the results are worth it.  Also, if you have depression i hope you haven't come off your meds because you don't need to. I stayed on them my whole pregnancy and it was no issue.