Utterly unmotivated, don't know how to break out of the rut I'm in.

[Mr K]

I'm reluctant to write this but if I get even the slightest help, I'll thank myself later.

I've spent so much time stuck in a rut that I've lost all ability to plan or organise anything to do with my time. I leave everything up to other people which I know is frustrating and although I'm happy to tag along I feel overwhelmed anytime I'm asked what I want to do. I have no hobbies or interests, I can't finish movies and I just feel like life is passing me by constantly. I hate not having anything to talk about and I view myself as boring. The worst thing is I find the boredom utterly draining which seems to be sapping me of any energy I have left. Any and all suggestions welcome, please.

[On The Road]

Hi Mr K,

Were you describing.... me? To be honest, your situation is quite similar to my situation: lost ability to plan, no hobbies, can't finish movies, have nothing to talk about... and yes this is not just the boredom that every people experience it is also energy-draining that has a big impact on us, it is one of the common things that people with depression would have. I don't know your mental health journey, but I know this must be very hard for you and you are not alone.

I don't have very good suggestions as I myself am still affected by these issues. Regarding the hobbies, One thing I would suggest is baby steps, just a bit of initiative that cost only a little energy: for example, Bushwalking is not fancy but a good exercise that I would consider as a practical way (hobby), and after walking I feel I am out of the rut (even it's temporary) and my mind is clear enough to make some short-term plan. I wouldn't do any hobbies that require too much commitment, I know someone who tried to do volunteering work to make his life more meaningful ended up being stressed. and for the movies, sometimes we even see entertainment as a tasks in life that have

[On The Road]

.... that has to be done. We can see entertainment as just entertainment, it is ok not finishing a movie as movies today are actually quite boring themselves. I would recommend some light-hearted series, short but good content that you could finish easily one by one and to share and talk about it with others later on.

These are my suggestions, doing the littlest and simplest things first that help to break out of the nut, and don't be too hard on yourself if "falling back". I'm in the process of this which I believe it works and it giving me some hope. I also expect to hear from others with more practical advice. 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Mr K, even having trouble writing your comment is an example of having no motivation, but you have achieved this and by thinking of doing small projects, something that will only take you 5 or 10 minutes or even less because at the moment planning on a day's activities could be impossible, just the thought tires you out.

Sometimes a lack of motivation comes from a desire to avoid uncomfortable feelings, have a bowl of ice cream, that's a small task you've achieved, but if for some reason you try and plan your day, nothing will happen because that task is way too big.

If you are suffering from any type of depression you can't plan head because negative thoughts will talk you out of doing it, and when positive feelings begin, it's not so much being able to do this, it's the impulse to suddenly do something and can be different from what you have been thinking about.

Try and start doing a jig-saw, then you can come and go as you please, make yourself a coffee, that's not planning but a sudden impulse on what you want to do.

There's an old saying 'Rome wasn't built in a day'.

Best wishes.

Geoff.