think b4 you act!

[Richo10]

Ive suffered from severe depression for 6 years, im 25. 14 months ago my whole world was turned upside down, I tried to end it all and was placed on life support for 10 days. I now suffer a terrible breathing condition called Glottic stenosis with bilateral vocal cord fixation. Ive had 8 operations in 14 months to try fix it all have been unsuccessful. On nov 12th I will have operation number 9 and be tracheostomy dependant for up to 1 month post opp. With these operations ive had most of my vocal cords cut out and ive lost majority of my voice that ill never get back 😞 I used to play state netball, now I can barely walk or shower without being out of breath. I guess im sharing my story to let you no its ok to not feel ok but before you act reach out to a loved one or support before you do anything that may change your life forever ❤️


beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Richo10]

Hi Geoff. Yes my opp is wednesday next week eeek im so scared but I guess ill survive. The opp was explained pretty briefly but ive researched it on the net and I no what im facing. 

[Richo10]

Thankyou WK 🙂

ive been struggling with stupid kidney stones which is annoying, been in hospital 3 times in a week. 

My opp is next Wednesday ahhhhhh

[Richo10]

Hi Mares 🙂

thankyou for writing to me. I have a very supportive family and especially my mum who has been by my side every step of the way so ill have great support during and after hospital. 

Just cant beleive this is happening to me, ive never done anything wrong in life, always been there for ppl and I get dealt this hand 😞 I dunno its heartbreaking. Ill soldier on tho 🙂

Nicola Xx

[Richo10]

Hi 🙂

ive been having a hard time of it lately but im fighting on, spoke to someone on beyond blue on the weekend cause I had a bit of a break down 😞 

I feel angry and why ive been dealt this hand in life, ive done nothing to deserve it. All I did was try to escape the black dog 😞 

im not sure what im scared of with this operation, I guess everything. How ill react when I wake upwith a trach, the pain ill be in, recovery, how ill cope long term with the trach, my minds a mess. 

Thankyou for your concern 🙂

Nicola Xx

[HA1]

Hi Nicola - thank you for your reply.

I'm glad that you were able to speak to someone at BB - good move!

I guess I can't answer why you have been dealt this hand, it is not fair.  You still have a lot to get through with the operation and recovery, but I hope (pray) that you will now come out strong and determined to kick the beast aside.  

Take care

K

[Doolhof]

Hi Nicola,

Thanks for getting back to us all. We are all thinking of you and some of us are praying for you as well. I can't begin to imagine what you are about to face, but I do wish you well in it all and hope the operation is a success.

It is wonderful your Mum is there for you. When I was 16 I was involved in a car accident (I wasn't driving) and spent some time in hospital. My parents didn't come to visit me nor talk to me on the phone at all, and I even had to organise for someone else to drive me back home to my parents place!

Having someone there to support you along the way certainly helps immensely.

I have heard that kidney stones are very painful, I am so sorry you have had that to deal with as well.

I'm hoping you receive all the help, assistance and guidance you need for the operation and also for your depression.

Thinking of you, love and cyber hugs from Mrs. Dools

[Richo10]

I thought id update you about my life saving operation.2 weeks ago I had my life saving surgery to repair my airway due to a failed suicide attempt a year ago. I spent 2 long weeks in hospital in the high dependency unit. I now have a tracheostomy, its meant to come out in a few weeks but theres always that chance it will be permanent. It has been a roller coaster ride filled with many tears. I thought having the trach my breathing would be good but sadly its no better so im really worried. Im coping ok now but to have a permanent trach would be a totally different story, I dont think I could do it!

[Snoman]

Hi Nicola,

I'm glad you shared a new update with us.  I have been wondering how you have been getting on.

I'm sure the thought of a permanent trach would be daunting.  Fingers are crossed that all works out well for you.  I know that if it has to be that way, you will find the strength you need.

I am glad your family are there for you.  On behalf of your supporters here on this forum, tell your mum thanks for looking out for you.

Sno

[white knight]

Hi Richo10,

This thread has been so inspirational. I've just referred to this thread in my new thread "Facing the emotional "brink"".

There would be tens of thousands of sufferers out there Richo that will benefit from your thread here. Please use that fact as a reason to continue with your treatments. Fight on.

And like Sno said - thank your mum for looking out for you. You are incredible.

Tony WK

[Doolhof]

Dear Richo,

Hi. It is great to hear from you again! I have been wondering too how you have been getting on and had hoped and prayed the operation was a success.

Like the others who have posted here, I too think you are amazing. You could have crawled into a hole so to speak and stayed there, or given up altogether. Instead you have ben through this operation and you can now see how your life may be post operation.

I do hope you are able to have the trach removed in a few weeks. I have absolutely no idea as to what you are feeing or experiencing, I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you well.

Cheerio for now, from Mrs. Dools