The weight of the world is on my shoulders

[Fusion2k4]

- In 2024, my wife lost her job

- I have been the sole income earner for this time

- I am near bankruptcy. We have been trying to sell our house for over 8 months. We have only months left.

- I have constant suicidal thoughts, with only external people or pets being the reason I dont

- Whilst I run businesses, I constantly make mistakes. 

- Recently, a client who I made millions of dollars, was upset I work for a competitor so that I could keep us afloat. Whilse she has a $5m home.

- Some nights, we share a single steak between my wife, myself and our child

- I work at great volumes, but can never achieve my goals

- My wife applies for jobs, and maybe does 2 hours a day of projects. If shes not minding the kid, she is playing games or puzzles or things

I have just had the weight of the world on my shoulders for too long

I pray to god everynight

I can never seem to turn the chapter

[Sophie_M]

Hey there Fusion2k4,  

Thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We understand what a difficult time this has been for you, feeling like you're drowning under the weight of these responsbilities plus adding the stress of being the sole income earner of your family on top of that. It's understandable you are feeling this way but please know you are not alone, we are all here to shoulder the burden with you.
 
When we are working, dealing with financial stress and overall feeling burnt out, it can be really hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Is there anyone that you feel able to discuss this in person with? A GP can be a good point of contact as it's important your health is supported during this time and they can refer you to a psychologist or other supports. In the meantime, we’d encourage you to give the Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here. They can provide some good next steps for you.
 
You mentioned you are feeling suicidal, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. That might mean connecting with existing supports, following a safety plan, or you could connect with Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency, and you need to call 000 (triple zero).  
 
We hope that you find our forums to be a supportive place, please feel free to update your thread as many times as you like, it can help to talk about it. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you. Please remember you are not alone with these feelings, be kind to yourself.

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[Perry2936]

Hi there,

I know it’s so easy to despair.

i know the pain and shame of being in debt and wondering if I was ever goi g to get out of debt.

Please don’t do this alone.

Financial Counsellors are there to assist you, to break it all down for you and speak on your behalf so you don’t have to do the heavy lifting.

All you need to do is be straight up with the financial counsellor.

Financial counsellors are free and helped me sort out how I could work my way out of it.

They were a blessing for me. I literally couldn’t have done it without them.

There is no shame in seeing one - no one even had to know! They are trained to be non-partial, non judgemental and to help you.

Just tell them your story ad you would tell a close friend. They have further resources out there to support you, get you back on track, so you aren’t feeling alone.

They can negotiated with your creditors and work out a solution.

it was a slow process, but I got there eventually.

At times I wondered how I’d make it through, but through diligent work with my financial counsellor, learning about my own money mindset - my vulnerabilities when it comes to money, it helped me make better decisions in my life.

Please don’t be ashamed - there is support out there.

Jist type into your search engine “Financial Counsellor in _______” (your town/suburb.

Whilst we are still able to talk about our concerns, we have equal strength in that we can seek and receive support.

Keep telling your story to people who are safe to share with - because you never know who else has been in a similar situation. 

I wish you all the very best.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Fusion2K4

I’m really sorry that you are struggling with so much on your plate.

My husband and I have businesses and believe me I understand how hard it is. It’s sometimes frustrating because I don’t think many people really understand the challenges we face.

If you have a good accountant, reach out for advice and support. Talking with fellow industry members can also help to remind you that you are not alone with your concerns.

As Sophie advised, reaching out for professional support to help manage your mental health is really important. Financial counselling is also an excellent suggestion. I really want to encourage you to act on both of these suggestions.

I’d like to add that emergency financial support is available from Anglicare. Just Google Anglicare in your State or Territory to find a local centre. 
The centres are staffed by community support workers who can help with urgent needs, such as groceries, clothing, bills, etc. They can also refer you and your family to other local services that can help.

We’re here to talk, please post any time.

Kind thoughts to you

[therising]

Hi Fusion2k4

My heart goes out to you, it really does. I can only imagine the stress and desperation you're feeling at the moment.

I think that while we can resemble gifted seers at times, there are definitely times where seeing any positive way forward feels impossible. Either it's a blank screen in our imagination or all we see is what's negative and even deeply depressing. While you have some beautiful people here who have responded to you, they have given you a handful of visions to lead you to see some difference. I can't help but wonder what your wife sees, in her mind. I ask this based on having been a stay at home mum for years, up until I eventually went back to work when the desperate need to generate more income for the family finally felt undeniable and incredibly stressful. I'm wondering if there's a reason as to why your wife can't pick up just about any old job. Do you both feel your child's too young to do without one of you being there for them full time or maybe they have special needs? Does she perhaps have her sights set on a particular type of industry that doesn't have a lot of job openings at the moment? Is her mental health a challenge maybe and she feels she can't cope with going out to work? Or maybe, like myself, I just didn't want to let go of the dream of being a stay at home mum. Btw, that vision or dream came to an end when our youngest went into year 7 at school. We just couldn't afford to sustain that vision any longer (being a single income family).

I've found one of the things about being a partner involves the idea that as partner's in a family, we're kind of co-writing or co-authoring life's story. No longer a single person, there are times where I depend on my husband to help me start a new chapter in our life together. Sometimes it's important to wonder or question why our partner can't or doesn't want to turn the page, to start a new chapter. I find, with my husband, outside of work he doesn't want to face any challenges because he doesn't like to feel them. I can find myself stuck in the same chapter of our life together as a consequence. It definitely challenges my mental health at times.

The amount of tension you're not only holding in your mind but your muscles also must be enormous. The weight of the world is definitely not good for the neck and shoulders. Wondering whether you've been experiencing tension headaches.