Tears overflowing

[iamsotired]

I feel I keep trying to fill my life with positive

distract myself from the negative

but at the moment nothing is working

except for the tears

why?

[Scott_Depression]

Hi iamsotired

Well done for posting!  Really hard to do when you’re not feeling well

I notice I go through peaks and troughs over time in my moods – you’ve at least noticed it, so something can happen to help you.

Sounds like you need to book in to see your doctor/psych and get them to reassess you.  Are you already on meds?  You’ve done the large part of your job in monitoring your mood and noting the change.  Next you need to pick up the phone and get the experts to help you with the brain chemistry!

Sounds to me that you are doing well, but do to something out of your control, your current treatment is no longer giving you the relief from symptoms that you should have.  There is no need to try and be brave and just ‘suck it up’ – use any and all resources and tackle it as early as possible in the episode

Again, great job on posting & hope you can get an appointment sooner rather than later

Kind regards

Scott

[geoff]

dear Iamsotired, what we seem to do if we have the energy in depression is the same as putting on a fake face, that is, we try and disguise our depression and do anything that we seem to be positive, but after awhile it doesn't work just like our fake face we become so tired of putting this on so we end up back to square one.

All of this is exhausting so we finally give up, because this illness is just so strong. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi iamsotired

From just those few sentences you posted it sure said a lot to me (and I'm pleased that Scott and Geoff have also responded back to you also with caring and helpful messages).

Along the lines of what Geoff said, this illness is just so powerful that it dominates our mind for most of our waking day which IS exhausting, especially when you try to fight back against it.  As you have been trying to do with trying to occupy yourself with positives (which by the way is a brilliant thing to be doing), but as you're finding, even this positive method isn't working.

So then I now move to what Scott suggested and yes, I think it's really an appropriate time for you to get back to your GP / psych for an update of your condition.  Do you have regular appointments?  I won't ask much more on this, cause Scott has already mentioned the medications side of things.

Great to have you post - but not so great to hear how you're going.  I sure hope that today is going to be at least a little better for you.

Please get back to us as well to let us know how you're going and with any answers to the above questions.

Kind regards

Neil

[Scott_Depression]

Hi iamsotired

Hope you're taking care - just though I'd pop by and see if you've posted

Please post if you can - there's lots of people here that will do everything possible to help

Kind regards

Scott

[iamsotired]

Hi Scott

thank you for your response.

i am already on a great many meds and have regular blood test and appointment with a psych, but a have a number of things that have recently been unpleasant and a few coming up this week that I am extremely anxious about. I cannot stop thinking about them, therefore I am finding it difficult to relax and do things that I normally really enjoy. 

Plus a daughter in law who is 29 weeks pregnant with twins who could go into labour any time. The babies need to stay in for at least another 3 weeks.

i have been in this state for about 18 years, with a few ups, but mainly down, down down

i hope once this coming week is over and I know the worst ( maybe) I might feel a little better

anticipation+anxiety+depression= iamsotired

[Scott_Depression]

Hi again
Thanks for the formula – I can see how all 3 must compound to put you into place that’s pretty dark – know the feeling.
Congrats on being a grandparent soon – what wonderful news, though I understand the anticipation must be draining, but at least you aren’t carrying those little ones around at the moment – ha ha ha! Hope your daughter in law is doing well – it’s going to be hard work for her & your son when they arrive, but so worthwhile!
Regarding the pregnancy, I know sometimes stepping back to assess can help.
• Your daughter in law is at 29 weeks now. Something COULD have gone wrong in the last 29 weeks, but HASN’T – right? I’m talking big problems, not regular pregnancy problems like swollen ankles, tiredness, nausea. She’s gotten through 29 out of 32 weeks already without big issues. Great result!
• GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG??? – this is the weeks to date where G=Good (29 G’s and 3 ?’s). Can you see a pattern? How do you think it’s MOST LIKELY (not guaranteed, but most likely) to go in the 3 weeks, to the 32 weeks mark? I’m betting on G’s!!
• Let’s talk your daughter in laws care. I imagine she’s been seeing doctors/obstetrician’s regularly? These guys see these pregnancy and will do everything possible to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible
• IF the process does hit a hiccup, the Doctors, etc. are ready for it. They’ve seen this many, many times and will jump into action to help your daughter in law.
I know it’s difficult when a big thing is happening in your life and you have little control over the outcome. It’s times like these we tend to get most anxious. I say to you that all of the energy you’re putting into worrying is probably not needed – you can give yourself permission to relax on this one. The way you’re feeling is NOT YOUR FAULT – those darned brain chemicals are just out of balance & we need to get help to sort them out
Having said this, perhaps it’s time to consider a 2nd opinion on current treatment approach? No one needs to be suffering as you are currently. If your current people aren’t resolving symptoms to your satisfaction it might be worth talking to 1 or 2 other people?
In the short term, just had a look on YouTube on web. If you search on there for “Anxiety Relief” or similar terms, you might find something of use.
Hope this is of some use
Kindest Regards
Scott

[iamsotired]

if it was not for the existance of my sone I would give up

[iamsotired]

Thank you Scott

I will have a look.

[Scott_Depression]

I'll keep checking in on you!

Please keep in mind this is far from your fault - it's just that you and I have been dealt a bad hand in brain chemicals.

Professional help & love from friends and family will get you through this rough patch - sending you hugs!

Kind regards

Scott