Struggling Socially But I Can't Cope in Public Spaces without Someone I Know

[lovebowie]

I'm a high school student, currently on break. Prior to break, I wasn't doing to well emotionally, but I was working through it, with my one friend and girlfriend. During the break, I completely plummeted. I couldn't leave my house, could hardly respond to messages and mainly just wallowed in my own filth.

I really tried my hardest, and messaged my gf everyday, but they ended up breaking up with me. They said that they really didn't want to see me at a school, and since I haven't been talking to my other friend much, I figured that they might just go with my ex, leaving me alone.

I'm not really bummed about my ex, I was honestly just keeping with them because I knew the split would tear our friend group apart. They never really tried to understand me, and were condescending about my autism and selective mutism, and several other things.

I find that when being forced to socialise with strangers, I am unable to speak unless I have someone I know with me, mainly due to my autism. Without anyone I can talk to, I'm basically being forced into mutism.

I can cope with being by myself, but knowing that I'll be the last one for every single group project just hurts. Sitting by myself for every class, every lunch break, and when the teacher says to pair up just stings. And I hate it.

I go back to school in two days. And I know that when I show up, I am going to have a complete breakdown, by myself. I just don't want to be lonely, and I push away anyone that cares about me.

[Sophia16]

Hi,

I am truly sorry about what you are going through. It must be so difficult. I can see that you feel anxious when you try to meet new people.

Have you considered seeing your school counsellor? If not, then they will be able to give you strategies to help you cope and make new friends, without feeling anxious.

I know it is hard but sometimes we just have to do things we aren't comfortable with. Especially after you're finished high school. Everyone must get out of their comfort zone.

Write down a plan as to how you can approach new people and make new friends. Write down your strengths, your weaknesses. How you can improve those weaknesses. It may help

Stay safe and I am here to chat if you need me.

[Positive_vibes89]

Dear lovebowie, being on the spectrum would make thing a little difficult for you. I understand how you would feel in social situations, I have been recently watching a show on netflix called love on the spectrum. I have learnt alot about people who have autisum and how social situations can really be a struggle. I feel that it would be benefical for you to practice some role playing with your parents or somone who you feel comfortable with to learn about socialising with others. Practice having conversations with another person. Or get a piece of paper and write down some questions that you could ask others when you meet them. I really believe that a person who has autisum needs to feel comfortable when meeting people, hence why I think some role playing would help you practice and help you to gain some self confidence in talking to new people. Ive seen support workers on the netflix show sit with the person and discuss how they can communicate with their date. Drawing some mind maps and role playing had been really beneficial to many of the shows autistic people. I suggest if you are interested, watch the tv show. Its very good.

I hope this helps

[HappyHelper88]

Hello lovebowie Thanks for your post and welcome

Im sorry to hear what your going through and I'm so sorry about the breakup you tried your hardest but sometimes there is nothing you can do.
Im so sorry that your girlfriend treated you like that
I also find difficulty talking to strangers and making new friends and I cant imagine how difficult this is
I think you should talk to someone about this like a school counsellor or a parent?

Please don't think you will be lonely forever because you will make new friends
If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat here