Struggletown

[Bonnieeeeee]

I'm struggling to accept and find ways to get myself through  the depression and anxiety taking over my body at the moment. I attended the doctors about 2 months ago and they alerted needed immediate help. I'm a very proud person and have found it hard to accept and I'm almost embarrassed which makes me ashamed. Since then not a lot has changed  I'm struggling big time and although my partner tried he finds it difficult to understand and because I don't understand it myself yet I can't really explain it. My anxiety takes over my entire world to the point where I had to leave my career which I loved. I've never done anything like this or reached out asking for help but I'm at the stage I need help because I'm terrified and unsure what to do. I don't enjoy opening up which makes my recovery all the more difficult, if anyone has any advise with regard to how to move past this, how to explain to my partner because I need him more then anything.

Struggling through life is not fun

[helpmeplease]

Hi Bonnie,

Firstly welcome to this wonderful site, there are so many wonderful people on this site, who are struggling but can take some comfort(even if its only a small amount) That we are not alone with our suffering. You have taken a major step by coming here and reaching out, I am proud of you for taking this step. I am newish here my self but have found this site to be very calming for myself.

Our recovery is not easy and some days it feels like we will never feel happy again and see not end to all the pain. I understand that you feel ashamed but don't you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are just going through a tough spot in your life and you can beat it.

Are you on any medication to help? I only ask this as when on the right ones they do really give some relief to the suffering. As for helping yourself and your partner understand  better maybe go talk to your GP together. Seeing someone and talking through your depression is tough I have failed many times myself. But for me writing my thoughts and feelings down for my partner to read instead of finding the words to explain was the way I started out. 

stay strong Bonnie were are here for you.

HMP 

[geoff]

dear Bonnie, I wish I could welcome you in a much better way, but you have had the strength to open up to all of us who have indeed been or still going through the flaws of this horrible illness.

What I would do is click on to 'resources' at the top of this page where you can order all the printed material from BB, it's totally free and it will be able to explain to you and your partner what depression entails.

You know so many people are also ashamed about confiding in to their doctor about their depression, but there's no shame what's so ever, because millions of people have this illness, not only in Australia but all those poor countries where no help is available, but here we can get the help we need.

It may take a few medications before you find the one that actually works for yourself, as it took me about 6 or so to finally have the one that has finally helped me through this awful period in life, and the same may also apply to any psych your GP sends you to, this is not to scare you but I am just trying to say what might happen, hopefully it will all go through without any hiccups.

There is no need to feel embarrassed, and when I was diagnosed with depression I had staff of about 60 people under me, and although I was sacked it didn't matter because I would have thrown in the towel anyway.

So please send away online for this information, it won't make you overcome this illness but it will explain facts, methods and advice as what to do. Hope you can reply, because all of us have been in your exact position, so we try and help you. L Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Hi Bonnie

Again, another welcome message to you ... and I'm going to stress again to you, that there is nothing at all to be ashamed about.  Nothing ... this awful illness affects so many people, so many beautiful people that it really is not fair.  But we have it, we suffer with it and we must try and find the best ways to help ourselves.  And by you making this step to coming to Beyond Blue, I really hope that you find it a positive experience and that you feel able to respond back to us and feel comfortable in doing so.

Also along the lines with what HMP suggested, writing down your feelings/thoughts is an excellent suggestion and thing to do.  I would also recommend this for you to do prior to going to see your GP.  Write down a list of things that are issues/things that are troubling you, and then during your appointment, you can deal with each issue as you read them (or give the paper to your GP).

Bonnie, I'll emphasis again, that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about with this.

I hope that what you've read from HMP, Geoff and myself has gone someway to helping you ... and would encourage you to come back and let us know how you're going ... because we ALL do genuinely care for everyone who comes on this site and that also means we care greatly for you too Bonnie.

Kind regards

Neil

Both helpmeplease (HMP) and Geoff have provided great responses above and I really have little to add to what they have suggested.

I will just ask, from your doctors visit, those two months ago, did you feel a positiveness from going there and did you feel that they gave you good advice?  ie:  would you feel comfortable about going back for another appointment?   If yes, then I really think you should make another appointment and go back to see them.  If no, then on this site, along with the reference material earlier suggested, you can also do a practitioner look up in order to find one in your local area - they're all trained in mental health issues and would be a very good choice to go with one of them.  But with either way you choose, I believe that you should arrange this and soon.

[Bonnieeeeee]

I have genuinely struggled to respond, although it was me that originally posted I've read all the responses over and couldn't type again the ashamed thing. Thank you all very much for you kind helpful words.

whem I originally visited the doctor he put me on medication which was working to begin with and then all of a sudden the anxiety and sadness came back but worse. I wasn't expecting it and I think that's why I'm struggling so much.

i write much better then I speak so writing things down has helped previously. I know I my head it's not anything to be ashamed of, I'm the person who helps people and brings people alive and I'm ashamed I can't be that person anymore I think. 

I really appreciate the replies it helps to know I'm not crazy,words help