Sick of the Black Clouds

[Fritz_Montgomery]

Hi - new to the forum today. One of those days that just is worse than usual.

Just feel the need to talk to someone - have suffered for many years - still on medication  given up on seeing a counsellor as over the years have done so -  on and off - just seemed to make no difference and in the end felt like they only cared if you keep coming back and paying your fee.

Some days it would be nice if those around you just took the time to say - How are you? and actually showed some compassion.

Feel very alone and pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I can not be helped and my life will always be with black clouds hovering over me

Sorry to put this out there - but just needed an outlet to try and get though the rest of the day

[White_Rose]

Yeaaay, a real football fan. Congratulations! Life can't be all that bad if you have the good taste to follow soccer.

On the other hand, Seinfeld?  It's really interesting how good TV series echo real life, which is why they are attractive to us. Sometimes we find ourselves identifying with a situation or character.  Not a bad way to go really. It can be  a way to see ourselves in action. I have learned a lot that way. Mind you, I am always a sucker for for a sad story. I usual identify them by the number of tissues I use. A really sad film can be a four hanky event without even trying.

Opening up to anyone can be difficult and if you job involves keeping confidences it really becomes a habit. I have found a few tricks to help in that way, although I think there are times when I talk far too much.

Keep a notebook or similar handy. When you remember something uncomfortable, write it down. Just a couple of words and the date. Later you can go back to the book and write out more fully what happened, what triggered the memory, how you felt. Use these notes to talk to your doctor.

I am surprised you have got away with no blood tests etc.  I have a remarkable GP. Very down to earth.  I can imagine her comments if I did not follow through on tests. The reality is, how do you know what's amiss if you do not make the effort to find out?

All the people who write in here can relate to the mask syndrome. We are so afraid of revealing our true selves because we think others will be disgusted. Well that's true sometimes but those folk are not worth bothering about. Within your family and with trusted friends truth is important, and definitely with your GP.

People can only show compassion if they know you have a need. I know.  Been there, done that. And talking of help and support, it is helpful to talk to a good psychologist. We've had this conversation above but it really seems you could do with more help.

I have been seeing a psychologist for about 18 months. Very up and down relationship but he has given me hope and compassion. He has also helped me find tools for life. Though at the moment I am a bit cross with him because I have had a bad week and wanted more support. He says I can deal with things much better by myself now and leaves me to it. Sounds a bit harsh, and I've told him so, but in reality when I am thinking straight, I do cope much better than in the past.  Still I will be feminine and sulk for a while. (Not really)

Oops, run out of space. Write in again.

Mary