Seeing a psychologist isnt really working

pawsy · ‎07-09-2018

I hoped that seeing a psychologist would slowly but surely steer me out of depression and isolation, and back into the world of social contact and proper employment again. I have been seeing a psychologist for 18 months now and while it has been an enormous relief to tell someone what has been going on inside me, and feeling the hurt and painful feelings instead of just pushing them aside as I do with other people, i'm not actually getting out of my isolation or feelings of fear and unconfidence. It's just that im telling someone and they are being kind about it. In some ways I feel further away from meaningful social contact than I did before. Not that the psychologist has made things worse, just that talking about my sadness doesnt change the conditions that make me sad: unemployment, loneliness, parents dying. How can i ever get better? Will i ever be happy in the world again, make new friends, feel valued again? Or will it always be this now ... for the next how long? 40 years? Fearful, withdrawn, worthless. How is everyone else going? Is there anyone who got very socially isolated, who has found a way back to contact with others? Id be so grateful if someone has ... and could share how it happened.

best wishes, pawsy

baet123 · ‎07-09-2018

Hello Pawsy,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling the way you are. I saw the same psychologist for around a year. I can absolutely relate to your experience. I thought my first psychologist was helpful especially as they acted as an outlet for me so I could express myself and share my feelings.

I did get better however after years of seeing health professionals. The turning moment for me was when I found a psychiatrist that I clicked with and immediately felt a connection with. This took me years to find but was well worth it in the end. It did get better for me and I am sure it will for you. Try "shop" around and go to many psychologists until you find one that understands you and can relate to your experience and one you have an immediate connection with. This helped me get better so it is something you can look into!

Look forward to hearing from you again.

Hope this helped.

Stay strong and positive and all the best Pawsy.

pawsy · ‎08-09-2018

thanks for your reply baet. im glad to hear you got better ... i dont mind if it takes years, so long as it happens! im sad though about the whole psychologist/psychiatrist thing. part of the problem for me is unemployment, and i really cant afford to shop around for health professionals, all of whom charge for consultations. i hope there are other ways to get better, coz im going to have to find them. hugs pawsy.

Emma_B · ‎08-09-2018

Hi Pawsy, just wanted to say I know how you feel. I ended up unemployed for 3 years and it was soul destroying. Applying for job after job, day after day and that constant rejection. The poverty. I have finally got a job and now trying to find counselling outside of office hours so I don't lose the job. Then I had my first session with my counsellor and he was a nice guy but he talks with his eyes shut. It seems crazy but I couldn't listen to anything he was saying because all I was thinking was ...why does he have his eyes shut?? I asked to change but they said he's the only one who does after hours appointments. Would love to know how you're going.

baet123 · ‎09-09-2018

Hello Pawsy,

Thanks for your response. I know it might be difficult at times but stay strong and positive. Keep saying to yourself it will get better, it worked for me so it is worth giving it a shot if you aren't already. Being unemployed is difficult particularly when you have further financial pressures due to having a health condition. Maybe you can contact St Vincent's, Salvos or your local welfare agency and they can assist you with your prescriptions and your utility bills. I know you might not feel comfortable doing so but these agencies are there to help you and would love to do so and might lift some weight from your shoulders. Also, many welfare agencies offer regular free counselling by trained professionals so that is another service which you might like to explore and it might greatly assist you to be able to talk to more health professionals and receive a different perspective/voice on some of your queries.

Please keep me updated and we are here if you need anything.

Enjoy the your weekend 🙂

Baet123

blondguy · ‎09-09-2018

Hello Pawsy

You are strong by reaching out and posting on the forums.....and good on you!

There have been wonderful posts of support above which are very helpful. I understand what you have been going through as I used to have chronic anxiety followed by depression which thank goodness is has given me some peace. Recovery is there Pawsy....Its a rocky road yet the results are worth the effort

So I can provide more effective support for you.......can I ask how often you visited your counselor over the 18 months?

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post Pawsy 🙂 I really hope you can post back with any questions you wish to ask

my kind thoughts

Paul

Jerrys_Mum · ‎09-09-2018

Hello Pawsy. I understand what you're saying about psychologists and psychiatrists. I spoke to my wonderful GP about my psychiatrist and that I felt it was a waste of time going. She reassured me to keep going and I start seeing a new one next month. Primarily they monitor your meds. In the last 4 years I have seen 3 psychologists. A couple of months ago I started seeing a Clinical Psychologist. They have their Masters in Psychology. The difference is amazing. I am really looking forward to future visits as I feel she will make a difference.

I recommend you get on the phone and ring around. I found a psychologist who bulk bills but was not taking any new patients. So they are out there. Just rare as hens teeth. I also have a mental health plan in place through my GP. This keeps some costs down. I too am unemployed. I isolate myself. I have a couple of friends that I catch up with occasionally for coffee. Even though I don't want to go out, I push myself and I'm always glad that I did. I wish you well.

blondguy · ‎10-09-2018

Hi Pawsy (and welcome to JerrysMum)

My apologies for the typo in my post above...I had to apply to the 'Good Shepherd' for financial assistance a while ago and they sent a letter to my GP's clinic requesting bulk billing and to wave the outstanding debt. I have been seeing my GP every month for a fine tune with my depression since

Some psychiatrists will bulk bill you as well if you are doing it hard. Even though they have a medication focus they are very well equipped to help us with our mental health as well 🙂

my kind thoughts for you Pawsy

Paul

DannyG · ‎11-09-2018

Hi pawsy

Firstly, good for you for taking the step in the first place. i can totally relate - and I agree with Jerry’s Mum. I feel that it’s not just a matter of finding any therapist, but ‘your’ therapist. Someone who suits you, who you feel comfortable with.

When I first sought professional help I was frustrated because I wanted ‘answers’ - I wanted someone to tell me what do to, to make my decisions for me, which was not the function of a therapist (for my specific illness).

Getting off track - anyway - Once I found my psychologist I still had moments of doubt ‘is this really helping? I’m not really moving forward’ like you said, I felt great having someone to listen to me but I wanted to get better, not just talk about it, if that makes sense.

this is just my experience so it may not be the same for you. I was then sent to a psychiatrist and I found it of no use whatsoever.

Thats when I realised my original psych was right for me.

best, D

JessF · ‎11-09-2018

My two cents on this... if you are feeling like your psychologist isn't actually helping, then it's a good idea to actually say so in a session so they can change their approach with you. I think sometimes we can make the mistake of thinking that just turning up to the psychologist will fix things by itself, there's a lot of work we also have to do on ourselves as part of that conversation. Yes sometimes you might not click with a person you're seeing, but remember that the whole thing is a conversation. If you can't be honest with your psychologist about what is happening for you, including whether or not you think the treatment is working, then you're destined to just repeat the same problem with a new psychologist.