Returning to work after a bout of illness

[Charlie_Jane]

In just after 2 weeks I will be returning to work after being in hospital for three weeks for a breakdown, sleep deprivation and diagnosed with Bipolar II. I have been off of work since later November and I have been doing everything I can to move forward with my recovery. Medication, daily exercise, monitoring my diet, using a psychologist and relaxation techniques.

My downfall occured after I was assaulted at work (I work in a prison) and shortly after things started to spiral downhill very quickly. Even though I believe the assault contributed to my being hospitalized, it has not been the complete reason why I had my breakdown. I have been suffering with Bipolar for years and had always tried to fight it but finally it got hold of me and I couldn't cope any longer.

I thought I was ok to return to work but today I had a discussion with a Mental Health professional and when I pictured myself back in the workplace, I really panicked. Tears came out of my face and I had no control over myself, it was like it became reality. Like I said, I have always been trying to keep everything together and returning to work is no exception but I am really really concerned about going back and it's only just come to the surface. I know the working environment I am in is not ideal for my mental health but I am now worried that returning may trigger me and I lose it again.

We discussed changing jobs but even the thought of that right now is to much to handle. I feel like my back is against a wall. I have been financially upset by my time off and the return is going to help with the finances however I am not sure how I am going to cope in the working environment. Any ideas/suggestions/thoughts would be really helpful at this time.

[Guest_1055]

Hey Charlie Jane

I don't have any suggestions or ideas in regards to you returning to work. But I just wanted to let you know that I do care about you. And I'm sorry that you were assaulted at your work. That would have been awful and scary. I wish it never happened to you.

Anyway here is a hug for you, just in case it helps you in some way and is that picture a Muppet?

Hugs

Shelley xx

[White_Rose]

Dear Charlie Jane

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I am sorry your post has not been answered earlier. Sometimes a post slips through the cracks.

You having been doing tough for a while  and I offer my sympathies and best wishes for your recovery. You sound like a strong person battling these problems and still able to consider returning to work in a stressful environment. May I say that even being able to discuss the prospect of a return to work is a huge step forward, no matter if this is not possible in the immediate future. Please be guided by your medical team. Returning too early may lead to far more time off work and a great deal of pain and anxiety for you.

I am curious why your leave is not covered by WorkCover, or your state equivalent. This is a work related injury and should come under those provisions. Also your superannuation fund should also have provision for extended sick leave cover. Have you checked out both options. I know, particularly in private industry, workers are discouraged from applying for WorkCover  but this should not stop you. Do you belong to a union and if so ask for help from them. If you cannot access either of these resources, which I will find surprising, surely you are eligible for CentreLink benefits.

OK, enough about that. When you are very unwell I understand finance is a huge worry. So what support do you have? Do you have any family? Do you live alone? Sorry to ask these questions. I am wondering about your living circumstances. It is so important to have people around who love and care for you. I do hope you have a good circle of support people.

You are working so hard to become well again. I would like to make additional suggestions but it seems you are doing as much as possible. In situations like this there is no way of getting well quickly. I know this is not what you want to hear because of all the pain this includes. Recovery from trauma takes time. Do you see your psychologist often? Is this the person who said you were ready to return to work? I am surprised that anyone would suggest a return to work when you are so clearly distressed and unready to do this.

I had about six months off work because of a virus. I was assessed by a specialist. He said I was well enough. My GP was furious and wrote to the super board saying I was not fit enough and I also wrote a letter explaining why I could not return at that stage. And they accepted this and gave me more time off.

Can you tell us more about yourself?

Mary

[Charlie_Jane]

Hi and thanks for the kind words,

 I was suggested WorkCover by a handful of people. Then someone explained to me the process of going through WorkCover and it really frightened me. At the time, I was in hospital and was told it was going to be a very long and drawn out process with people poking their head into my life and treatment and I honestly did not want to proceed. I applied for Sickness Allowance and this was approved. However, the amount that I am being paid is not even enough to cover my rent. Yes I live alone.

I have been really lucky with my family and friends. I have never had to reach out for help in my life and at this time when I did, everyone has really had my back. Mostly the important people in my life live close to me.  I have been encouraged by some to change jobs and get out of this environment. I think I have been convincing myself that I can go back. The team of professionals have been really supportive and have given me a massive pat on the back for turning my life around and working on my recovery. I used to drink heavily and I have completely stopped. They have asked me how I feel and up until yesterday I have been giving feedback saying I can do it, I am ok to go back, so in some way, this has actually been my own decision. Yesterday was the first time I replayed everything in my mind and imagined walking back inside. Have I been fooling myself?

I have been informed by the workplace that I will be placed into a new team and a new area. I am happy in knowing that I have a change in place. However, I am concerned about another breakdown creeping up on me. I think I tend to tell myself that everything is Ok, even when it seriously isn't. And then I hit rock bottom. I cannot go back to where I was before I went into hospital. I am trying to take things day by day but honestly I am nervous about this.

[Neil_1]

Hi Charlie jane

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and providing your post.

I’m really sorry to read what happened to you at work – and that I would believe to be a case of trauma to be added to your Bipolar as well.  It is very pleasing to read though all the mechanisms that you’ve got happening in order to try and keep ahead and keep your recovery going.

It’s a very tricky situation with regard to the stability of being financial that working gives, but on the other hand, the possibility of being back at work being a cause to trigger within you is very real also.

Do you feel you have a supportive work place?  Is there a possibility that you could commence back on a reduced hours format and possibly in a slightly different area to the one you were in previously?  Something that could possibly “ease” you back in, so you wouldn’t be faced with the area that you came from?

I was going to ask about whether it’s possible to seek a little more time off, but then that kind of doesn’t work overly well, when finances are limited and needed.  Do you have other support mechanism (people, family, friends) who may be able to help out in some way?

I do hope I’ve written something of use here and I believe others will come along who’ll be able to provide something better than what I’ve come up with.

Also, would very much love to hear from you again.

Kind regards

Neil

[White_Rose]

It really annoys me when people pass on urban myths.  WorkCover will ask questions. They need to establish facts but it's not as intrusive as you have been made to believe. However, there is no point in going on about it. I think you have been badly used in this instance.

Glad to know your employer is looking after you by placing you in a new team. I expect you may feel nervous about working with new people but generally it does not take long to adapt. I think we persuade ourselves we can mange to return to work while we are comfortable at home. It's only when the reality of the return hits home we realise it may not be as easy. Only you can decide if you are ready for this so listening to your body and what it has to say to you will be important. Please be careful about forcing yourself to return to fit in with other people.

Like Neil, I think it would be good to return on reduced hours. It takes a lot of energy to go to work every day and lots of stamina. You need to build up your reserves in order to make a successful return. If your find yourself tired, ask for time off. In the long run it's better for you and your employer.

Good to hear you have a supportive family. It makes a huge difference. Congratulations on giving up the alcohol. There are a number of people writing in here at the moment who have stopped drinking. If I can find the threads I will post them on here. You may like to join in these conversations. Also explore the forum and join in other conversations. It's good to share your experiences with others.

Mary