Hi Little Green Frog,
I’m very sorry for the late response. Please don’t think this is a reflection on you at all; sometimes it happens accidentally on the forums. Again, my apologies.
I hope it’s alright for me to extend a caring welcome to you.
Your sense of feeling very lost, uncertain, lonely and emotionally overwhelmed really does come across in your post. I can almost feel your sadness...you must be in such a difficult place.
It must be hard for you because “from the outside looking in” (so to speak), you seem to have it all with “...I have finally got a stable, well paying job, my kiddies are all off to school and hubby and I seem to be doing great together.” But despite all that, I feel perhaps the cracks are starting to show as you’re clearly struggling a lot and in great pain.
Personally, what stood out to me most was your comment on how you have lost your sense of “self.” I don’t know if this is relevant, and please don’t hesitate to tell me if I’m way off the mark, but I wonder if part of your feelings of lost identity stems from feeling like you’re constantly someone to someone else. As in, you’re a parent, spouse, worker, etc, and even if they are hugely rewarding and meaningful roles, it can still chip away at one’s sense of “self.”
I wonder if there’s now a need for you to engage in activities that make you feel more like “you” (e.g. trying out new hobbies, etc) to develop an identity away from your “roles.” Perhaps this is something you would like to bring up with your GP on Tuesday and see if he or she has suggestions for you? Just my thoughts at least...
I’m glad you reached out on the forums. It can be difficult to write your first post so I commend you on your courage in doing so.
You’re always welcome to use the forum space to write as much as you would like (if you want to). There are many compassionate people here who care about your wellbeing.
Kind thoughts,
Pepper
