"Being Happy" by Andrew Matthews

[CaptainSwing]

This book was recommended by a psychologist to me as part of treatment - but it is terrible!

I am not sure whether I am just reading it wrong or expected something different (I have never read a self-help book before) but I struggle to get past some of the awful metaphors used i.e. planting a banana in Antarctica and being surprised you never harvest more bananas. Bananas don't have seeds that can be grown into trees, it makes me doubt whether any of the advice given is of any use at all.

More examples: the book stresses that "people who expect to get sick get sick" but it's clearly a load of tosh, with no evidence given, but stated as some kind of fact as if projecting wellness onto yourself is going to protect you from bacteria or germs or whatever. Or that people that have accidents have some kind of self-harm death wish that regularly manifests itself by forcing you to climb rickety ladders.

Anyway, I'm not sure how to go back to the psychologist and tell him the book is rubbish. He has been helpful so far, but spending $25 on some kind of drippy pile of unsupported anecdotes and drivel has annoyed the daylights out of me.

Has anybody else read this book and got something useful out of it?

[jess334]

Sorry CaptainSwing I havent heard of this book before.

From what you have described it sounds a bit silly.

I think if you find your psych helpful to talk to then maybe just disregard the book and focus on your chats.

If you are interested in giving a different self help book a go, I found The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris really helpful. It is the opposite of teaching you to be happy. It actually says that no-one is happy all the time and other emotions like anxiety, depression, and anger are normal and we have no need to try and suppress them.

Kind thoughts, Jess

[CaptainSwing]

Thanks Jess i will go look for that book instead.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi CaptainSwing,

Yes, I actually have read this book, many many years ago. I'm not sure that I'd ever recommend it to a client/friend who was struggling, but in terms of pop psychology and optimism I thought that it was okay. It's probably one I'd recommend to someone who was already happy (ironically) with all of the glass half full suggestions and cliches.

I'm not sure how old you are or your psychologist is, but this book also came out in 1988. So even though it might be a classic, the year that the book came out certainly says a lot about the information inside it!

I'd absolutely go back to the psychologist and say that you were unhappy with the book. Book recommendations can always be a hit and miss, and unfortunately this one was a big miss for you.

If you ever get a new recommendation, you could also try the local library. It's free to sign up and you can hire them for a while, so you won't be out of pocket.