Quit my job a few months ago due to the fear of being out of the house.

[Slaugh]

Hello,

Where do I begin. My professional working life has been absolute hell since it began when I was 16. I'm 33 years old now. I have never been fired for misconduct but have been made redundant from all 14 positions I have had.

basically at the 1.5 year mark the people I work with realise they cannot stand me and start to exclude me, talk about me behind my back, and generally bully me.

Unfortunately when this begins it is a matter of weeks before I get the boot. They never mention anything about my work ethic or quality but excuse the redundancy as a financial burden and rather condescendingly inform me that they reluctantly have to let me go.

I quit my last position on the first sign of bullying as I knew this would be the subsequent result. I can get a job easily, my skills are in high demand, however I don't think I can live like this for the rest of my life, hopping from one job to another, until inevitable bullying and redundancy.

I don't know what it is about me that makes people hate me so much. I can spend hours sitting and thinking what it could be.

One thing is for sure, I cannot face employment anymore. I have no idea how I'm going to survive but I cannot face it. It's too much for too little. I honestly do not understand how anyone can go through a day at work a be smiling by the end of it.

I have worked hard every job I have had but it doesn't matter, hard work never gets you anywhere, social skills is all that matters in this world. Literally the be all or end all.

[Scotty2013]

Sounds like me a bit, its hard to socialize with ppl in workforce, can you apply for DSP?. Sounds like you have a hard time keeping employment also.

[Slaugh]

DPS is something I've considered but you have to deal with people extensively as they cross examine every aspect about you as a person. I do not feel ready to expose myself to that level just yet. Beyond blue at least is somewhat anonymous so it helps to vent.

Yes, I seem to struggle with employment on general. The concept of costing someone money is very disconcerting and endures a lot of anxiety in me. Although my hourly wage isn't really worth that much in my employers eyes they are still more than willing to turn my life upside down if it will save them a few cents.

thank you for your comment. It helps.

[james1]

Hello slaugh,

I'm sorry to hear you have struggled so much at work. It sounds like you've been really trying to do the best you can but nobody is giving you the help you need. It sounds very demoralising.

It sounds like you do not know why you keep getting fired, is that right? have there been any people you can trust in your previous employment who you think would give you a straight answer?

It sounds like you really do want to work if only you can figure out what is happening. I think that's really great that you want to do well despite the bullying you've experienced. I do not understand why people wouldn't want you to work with them!

James

[Slaugh]

Hi James,

Thanks for the response.

Yes that's right, I am quite clueless as to why all my employed positions end. I always get told the same thing, but really doubt that it is pure coincidence that every company I have worked for is going through financial hardships...let alone the fact that the redundancy comes a few weeks after the bullying starts.

I'm sure it's me, so naturally I do what every sane person does and scrutinise every aspect about me as a human. Obviously this is the worst thing I could do to myself but I unfortunately have no one I trust in those previous positions to gain feedback.

I'm not a social person, and sometimes I speak up when inappropriate things are said or done, but I don't believe I'm condescending or pretentious. I am short and I have had one person tell me that's why they hate me...but that is just petty and it was unrelated to work, so I doubt that's the reason.

Another reason could be that I just generally look really sad. Not something I can help, it's just my face. It could be my voice although no one has ever mentioned anything about it. I also may come off as a cynic (not really sure about this one).

As you can tell I've thought a lot about myself and my effect on people, but all I feel now after judging myself so much is a desire to shut out the world.

My biggest problem is I have dependants. A wife and two kids. My wife is extremely supportive as well as my family but they honestly keep telling me it's simple bad luck...which I really don't think it is.

Thanks again.

[james1]

Hello Slaugh,

oh you sound so down at the moment! It's hard to read how people feel over text but you seem really down on yourself and, defeated?\

perhaps it is actually good that you've had that look at yourself and can't really come up with anything in particular. perhaps that means there isn't anything wrong with you, and just the places that you've worked at. it might seem like a low chance of it happening after so many goes, but i have some pretty unlucky friends who really have not deserved the treatment they've been given.

I totally understand why you might feel like shutting yourself out from the world for the time being. it can be really helpful to just get away from judgement sometimes.

Maybe it is bad luck, or perhaps there is something you can work on - if you think the cynicism is hurting your employability, maybe that's something to put in the 'work on this' diary. But for now, it sounds like you really need people around you who are helpful and work doesn't sound like the right place.

how do you feel now that you've quit your job? you've posted in depression - are you seeing any doctors?

James

[Slaugh]

To be honest, I feel an absolute sense of freedom. But the reality of having to work as we all must is the burden that keeps me down.

I can honestly say the time have not been working has been the happiest I have been in a long time, however there are other things that are effecting me I'm sure.

Had a couple of deaths in the family in the last 2 years, one from MND which was excruciating to watch let alone actually suffer from it.

Another event was the birth of my son 9 months ago. I am still shaken up from it as it was an emergency birth in our ensuite. I had to deliver him myself and even though child birth is excruciating my wife has a very low pain threshold and doesn't handle it very well so that was a rather traumatic experience. She did very well though and both mum and bubs are happy and healthy.

We also just found out our daughter is gifted. This sounds like great news but the reality is it means she is special needs. So it's another stress.

I've organised to see a doctor but we have researve the money we do have for psychologist appointments with our daughter.

so yeah life kind of happens and is sort of preventing me to seek immediate help.

Thanks again.

[james1]

Oh that is good to hear that you do feel at least temporarily unburdened and freer. Perhaps it is good that you've got this chance now to just rest for when you do start looking at work again.

I am sorry to hear about the recent family deaths - I've seen MND and it's horrible. I also imagine having to watch the birth and deliver to be very difficult to say the least. But glad to hear it has been good since then.

Wow you sure have had a lot of things to deal with at the moment. I can see how maybe this is taking up a lot of your time to seek help for yourself in a more pressing manner.

Do you find talking about it here helpful at all? Please don't be afraid to be honest - it doesn't help many people and we just want to make sure you get whatever help you do need.

There are lots of other threads you can read as well, and BB also provide a phone and internet chat option. Perhaps in lieu of a more regular in-person doctor visit, those could be resources you could use as well in difficult times?

James

[Slaugh]

I often do find it extremely helpful and the community here always comes across as kind and understanding. I have posted here in the past and it seems to make me feel better. My emotions can be quite manic when things begin to spiral, so sometimes its hard to feel centred and composed.

I have never called as I feel it to be a little too confronting and it seems to be difficult to get onto someone on the live chat as the demand seems high, but regardless even if forum replies arnt instant I have never made a post without receiving an endearing comment of some kind and for that I will always be greatful to BB and people like you.

Thanks.

[james1]

Hello Slaugh,

I am glad to hear you find it useful and have been proactive in coming here when you do need a bit of help. I understand what you mean about spiralling - it's the exact word I used to use to describe that feeling - and it was the reason why I came here in the first place as well.

I hope all the things happening right now with your family settle down sooner rather than later. It sounds like it might take a little bit of time with your daughter, but perhaps it will be easier to manage once the recent deaths become less recent.

We're here to chat if you are finding it difficult at any time.

James