Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser · ‎08-09-2022

Hi to everyone and best wishes. I have found myself feeling very sad and lonely after Fathers Day. Im a 56 year old man but i still miss my Father and find these days so hard. Im not a Father myself so i guess its loneliness as well. I split with my girlfriend in Aprill and i just have this constant feeling that i need to contact her. I havent done so for ten days but i just so want to. All my friends tell me not to but i just feel so lonely after the weekend and feel the need to reach out. I have posted regularly this year so i hope thats ok.. I was wondering if anyone has any similar feelings or advice.. My best wishes to all Beaser.

ecomama · ‎11-09-2022

Hey Brett, I can see the love for your father in your words.

Fancy barracking for different teams! That would've made for lively Sundays! lol.

What I've done for my own life, when I've missed a relative who's passed that I loved deeply and respected ummm quite a lot lol..... I invoke them by doing some things they loved. Things they taught me. Aim to be a bit more like them.

Same with the WWJD thing... I have a few Christian friends at work who are struggling with the work atmosphere... I ask them What Would Jesus Do in this sitch?
We usually tell each other a story of whet He would do, the laugh and usually the stress is lifted for a while.

Brett some times we even miss someone who was toxic. I can attest to that and many others on the forums know that feeling.

Ex GF continuing to message ex BFs or "romantic interests" online is toxic for any current relationship.
Jealousy you may say.
Disrespect from her more like it. Disrespect is a Red Flag.

Sure we can be friends with exes! It can happen.
It's pretty easy to see when they're in the friends zone and when it's more than that.

I've read how much you say you miss your ex, but this ended for good reasons.
How much you say you're lonely.

I'm not sure if you actually miss your ex but miss a special someone in your life?

When I remember the toxic things about a past relationship, I miss them like a hole in the head! lol.
Doesn't stop me from missing "someone" in my life.

I don't really get lonely but I a trillion distractions perhaps.

Take care
EM

Beaser · ‎12-09-2022

I am feeling very flat at the moment ive managed to get myself up for work. I know its best for me to get to work. My heart is aching with sadness . I feel like every time i have a good thing in life i blow it. I feel i started to take my girlfriend for maybe and i lost her because of it. Im tempted to write her a letter but i dont want to hassle her. We split in Aprill so its been awhile now so maybe i need to move on . I know that you can look back and gloss over things too and forget the things that werent so good at times. Sometimes i was a bit easily upset but never angry. Im just so sad about it all . Brett

Petal22 · ‎12-09-2022

Hi Beaser,

I understand we do gloss over things sometimes but Beaser I understand if your ex was texting her ex while she was in a relationship with you then you have every right to be upset about it.

Whats meant for you always will be Beaser it won’t pass you by.

I’m sorry you are feel sad but can I ask you to try to pick yourself up a little bit just by doing simply things every day to help you do this.

Try to just forgive yourself if you feel you need to, this will create a space inside you for healing.

Feed your mind with positive thoughts.

I am worthy

I am love

I am moving forward with my future

Read positive affirmations .

Time heals all wounds.

Beaser · ‎13-09-2022

Thank You Ecomama.

I have so much respect for your thoughts and wise words. And your replies mean so much to me .

You are right that maybe its as much about missing that special person in my life as anything.

I stuck it out after the texts for about six months but i guess it put me on edge and was always on my mind.Im not sure if the texts continued and i certainly didnt snoop.

I know im not perfect either and there were things i should have done better.

I was wondering where your name Ecomama comes from are you a person who loves nature and your surrounds. Thanks again always good to hear from you and i hope you have a Happy Day. Beaser.

Beaser · ‎13-09-2022

Thanks Petal .

I really appreciate your reply and thoughts.

Yeh your right about the texts and even though it happened 6 months ago the last time i know of ,prior to our seperation it just played on my mind constantly and had me ruminating about things. They were still interacting on facebook which was hard too. I know im not perfect either and there were things i could have done better. Sometimes i just feel like maybe i blew it by being too sensitive. Im doing my best with things but its just tough at the moment. Thanks again Petal.