Personal health advice needed please.

[Bgcg]

Hello, i'm new to posting in the forums, though I have looked at them over the last year or so.

I guess I will start with some background information, i'm 25, Male and currently studying my masters with 9 months to go. I have had anxiety for roughly 6-7 years (comes and goes). The last 2 years a lot of negative events have happened in my life, 3 close family deaths, 1 of which was unexpected and my partner of 4.5 years, after that persons passing developed serious depression and 4 months ago told me she wanted a 'break'.

Now I know how all 'breaks' end, I guess what really has me at a loss is that we where a great couple, travelled a lot together, had talked a lot about the next steps in our life and then suddenly it was all over.

Anyway that's a bit of a back story, my anxiety has well and truly come back with vengeance and I fear that depression is knocking as well. Im not sure on the next steps to take not only for myself but for my now ex, I have insisted that she goes and talks to a professional but it doesn't seem to be happening and she is after 'space'. For myself I have been exercising daily and eating well but if anyone has any other strategies I would love to hear them.

While I am here the other thing that is making me feel down is that I feel 'old', now I hope I dont offend anyone saying that as i know 25 inst old by any means, I just cant seem to shake this thought.

Apologise for the rant. I look forward to your replies.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Anxiety is a serious illness that many think can be overcome quickly. Not so.

Google and read the first post

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Then there is obsessing about things like age.

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

All of these issues leave you with low self esteem and that isn't needed when you are finishing off your masters.

Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get

As for other people, you cant force them to seek professional advice and treatment. We ofen get that situation described to us here.

Beyondblue topic is there room for stubbornness?

Dedicating 30 minutes a day to relaxation can be a start.

Beyondblue topic he helped me for 25 years- Maharaji

I hope that helps. Reply anytime

TonyWK

[sparrowhawk]

Hi there, thanks for sharing your story. I am so sorry you have had such a rough time. It sounds like you are doing your best to take care of yourself and to support your ex.

Are you still in contact with your ex at all? In my view, you can suggest things for her to do, but as she is a mature person like yourself it is up to her to make her own personal decisions. Of utmost importance is you being present and supportive, if your current relationship still allows that. I am sure the ending of your relationship was incredibly difficult for the both of you, but it sounds like you are very supportive in giving her the requested space, even though it causes you pain.

In terms of yourself, do you have anyone in your life with whom you can talk about how you're feeling? Eating well and exercising are very, very important. I'd also suggest making sure you sleep as best you can and to keep a gratitude journal (write down three things that happened during the day for which you are most grateful - you can do it either in the evening or on the following morning). Maybe these will help.

Regarding being old, I am 27 and have felt "old" for a while, but I think that is for a variety of reasons - I had to mature quickly as a child, and spend almost all my time with people much older than me. Sometimes I feel like I have no friends in the world. I know that's not true, but it's a very strong feeling, and my low motivation makes me very very blasé about seeing friends who actually have an interest in catching up with me.

[Bgcg]

Hi, thank-you for the reply i will check out those links. I will also try the meditation/relaxation!

[Bgcg]

Hi, thankyou for the reply.

Yeah I am somewhat in contact, as in a couple send a message if needed. However it is often me messaging her, which is not the greatest.

Yeah I do have people I can talk to but I don't think i'm at that stage just yet. I will try the journal idea, thankyou.

That's very interesting, have you found any solution to not feeling as 'old'? sorry to hear that also, its a dreadful thing feeling alone.

[sparrowhawk]

It can be tiring to be the one always messaging the other, but I encourage you to keep doing it as needed. Hopefully it will help her to see that you are still there, still caring for her.

It's good to recognise where you're at and if you're ready to talk. It's okay not to be there yet. The journal idea does help me considerably. You might also benefit from keeping a mood diary or from simply writing a letter to your ex (that you won't give her, necessarily), telling her how you feel about what's happened.

Usually, hanging out with younger people helps me not to feel as old, but as I'm quite a "mature" twenty-something it doesn't always fit. I tend to connect easily with older people; actually, most of my friends are older than me (not necessarily much older, but still). Feeling alone is the worst feeling, I really hate it. But at the same time, it's there and it's happening and I need to acknowledge that's what I feel instead of suppressing it or running away from it. That's my reality - I may not be alone, but I feel alone, and the important thing is to work out why and then try to help myself feel less alone.

[MsPurple]

HI Bgcg and welcome to the forums 🙂

I myself have GAD. And it got worse during my masters degree also. I decided to go get help. I went through headspace as it was in my area and I was 23. However I have continued this by going to my GP and psychologist. I found it super helpful. They helped me figure out my triggers and how to deal with it. Also meditation is helpful. Especially before bed it you struggle to sleep

One thing I'd suggest to do is join your uni disability services. If you have a gp or psychologist fill in the paperwork (can download on the uni website) you will be eligable. I found it helpful. I joined in my last 6 months of uni. It allowed me one early day during placement every three weeks to go to appointments. It also offered more time if required and they can give you support as required. Your coordinators don't need to know.

[Bgcg]

Hi MsPurple, thank-you for the reply.

Great to see you took action!, I have tried those things but they didn't suit me which is fine, though a few people have recommended meditation! I will try that tonight.

I will have a look into that as well, thank-you for the advice. This is a great forum.

[Bgcg]

Thank-you for the reply, yeah.. I find there is a fine line of too much and not enough.

Im have never done anything like keeping a journal, I will try writing a letter tonight.

Your positivity is great I cant offer much advice unfortunately but its great knowing people like yourself are helping others on these forums.

[Philomena]

Hi Bgcg

From your story I learn you are doing your Masters so deserves you a lot of credit that with what you are going through you are still able to study and concentrate and that’s so positive.

Everyone goes through challenges and grief in life you are not alone in this. No life is perfect some people are able to express their feelings, whilst others bottle it up which surfaces later in their lives. Whatever you may have faced in the passed try to put it behind you and move forward. It’s hard but making an effort may do you good.

There is so much hope in the future, don’t waste that hope. In hope there is no despair or depression but knowing a great future lies ahead of you. Use your time and talents wisely and see what you can do not only for yourself but to help others who are in need. If you look around you will see so many who may need help in one way or the other try to get yourself involved so that you don’t spend too much time thinking of yourself and your problems.

once you become positive about life things around you should be better too. The mind is the main centre of our feelings and thoughts and don’t give into your feelings tell yourself you can do it and stay positive so everyone around you feels that way too.

Dont waste your time worrying about the past it’s gone Stop Worrying Start Living is what you should tell yourself everyday.

Enjoy every moment of your life as it’s precious it’s a gift from above and think you are so blessed whilst others in the world are suffering so much more than you. How much you have to be thankful.