Periodic mild depression?

[Silver_lining_behind_the_]

Hi everyone hope you are all coping alright in these difficult times.

There are times that I feel absolutely normal and positive, which normally last 3-6 months then out of nowhere I would lose motivation to do anything, withdrawing from people, feeling down for no reason, for about weeks to a month. Then I would start to feel better and then it hit me again. I think it has been going on and off for about 2 years. Has anyone experienced something similar or am I just being emotional? I am so confused about myself. Thank you.

[Gonetroppo]

I had the same thing when I was doing my PhD some years back. I would spend days on end lying in bed followed by periods where I could function reasonably well. I think that a lack of structure in my life contributed. I wasn't required to work to a fixed schedule - I could come and go as I pleased. It was all too easy not to get up and that allowed me to stay in bed when there was no motivation to get up. I found it easier to remain functional when I went back to fulltime work. I was still getting major periods of depression but having to go to work each day removed the opportunities to stay in bed. That certainly took the edge off the depressions. Maybe you should look at the structure in your life and see if that is contributing.

[Silver_lining_behind_the_]

Thanks for the reply, Gonetroppo.

I think it hit me whenever I feel disconnect to others and it's actually the opposite situation for me. I have a stable full time job for the last 2 years and it could be bit too stable, and I used to work by my self for most of the time. And to be honest I do not have much friends outside work too...these could all be contributing to my situation I guess. I have been trying to be socially proactive and engage in different things in the last 6 months and I was feeling okay. I thought I fought it off but until recently it's coming back again. But it all could have been because of the lockdown.

[MiaLeg]

Hi Silver lining behind the clouds, I have the same problem. I get bouts of mild depression from time to time. It started a few years ago and I’d often have suicidal thoughts. I’m too scared to tell any one about it because they might judge me. My partner notices the changes in my behaviour but I avoid discussing it with him because I don’t want to add to his problems. So I try to act normal in front of every one but I’m really not okay. This is the first time I’m opening up about how I feel. The things happening right now is making me even more depressed.

[Sophie_M]

Hi MiaLeg
 
We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community tonight and are so sorry to hear about what you’re been going through. We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. We’ve also checked in with you via email to provide you with some additional supports.

Keep checking in to let us know how you’re going, whenever you feel up to it.
 
 

[geoff]

Hello Silver lining behind the clouds, and this also includes MiaLeg, a warm welcome to both of you.

Whether this means having a relapse, I can't say, as I'm not qualified, but when I do, it's disappointing because my progress over the past seems to have been lost, but actually it could be part of being able to build up our strength, simply because it may be part of our recovery and not an individual failure.

There may be triggers which you had not planned for or they suddenly appear out of nowhere, such as different situations or the circumstances have changed which you were not prepared for.

To overcome any mental illness requires an enormous effort, not only for ourselves but the way we can change our attitude that is acceptable for us, and this has been very important for me.

I know that part of me says that when I do relapse, that within a couple of weeks, I am strong enough to recover.

Talk to your doctor/psychologist if possible, it's important this happens and let them know.

Take care.

Geoff.

[jacobs_ladder]

Hey Silver lining,

Thanks for sharing. I came to this forum to post something similar but I mostly just wanted to say hi to someone and get some stuff off my chest since I am ruminating a bit today, I hope you don’t mind.
I really connected with what you said. Ive experienced ups and downs for most of my life, good times and then a really slow few months where everything feels a bit grey. I don’t bother tracking the timing of it anymore sometimes it’s months or weeks. I am usually a high output kind of person, really busy, motivated, cheerful (outwardly). But not lately. It’s funny too, the feelings always creep up on me and surprise me initially. Usually I notice that I haven’t mowed the lawn or something silly like that but then I can’t find the motivation. Or maybe that I know I need to eat but I can’t decide what to eat so I just don’t because I’m not hungry, but there is still an emptiness, where nothing fills you up.
It’s nice to know that you have some good times, I have always tried to remind myself of how things have gone well in the past, and that I’ve tackled this plenty of times and that it doesn’t last forever, that I come out the other side better equipped to deal with the next round. It’s like a sun rising again for me and then things are ok again. I am lucky that I have experienced it so many times that I can almost pick it up look at it and put it down again and be satisfied that “Yep, it’s happening again. Oh well I’ll do what I can until things are better”. I used to get upset with myself at what I was missing out on, the things I could be achieving etc. Now I know that it’s perfectly fine to pause things and that people understand. My experience has been that life can still be ok, even though it might not be exactly what you want. And in spite of all the cognitive distortions and catastrophising I experience, even in my darkest moments I can always seem to remember that the experience makes me a little bit stronger each time.

I hope this doesn’t come off as preachy or anything weird like that, i know everyone’s experience is unique, it’s just how things have gone badly and then also well for me.

thanks

[smallwolf]

will say HELLO to everyone here.

Some interesting (in a good way) views have been posted here.

My beginning with a psychologist was similar to that of the other users posting here. I started with the K10 teston the beyond blue web site that suggested I have a chat with the GP. I did that and was referred to a psychologist for a 2nd opinion. I did that and was told to get a mental health plan.

It may be the case that your situation was/is much lesser of an issue compared to mine - it was the language I used etc that gave away how I was feeling.

I guess that what I am trying to say is that if you feel something is not right then following Geoff's suggestion of chatting with your GP is a good idea.

As far as suicidal thoughts are concerned - it is OK to chat with your GP or therapist about as well. These are (or should be) safe spaces for you to talk. And if my experience is anything to go by then you would not be judged. ALSO, you will NOT is judged by people here either.

@MiaLeg - while you might be scared to talk about it suicidal thoughts, you were able to post here. This is the positive step on a new journey. I hope to hear more from you.

@Silver linings - I worked from home for a company for many years. For me it was the loneliness, not being able to connect with other people from work etc. I would also cop the heat for sales if something did not work the way they liked. And one day I broke (figuratively).

Tim