The warmest of welcomes to you at a time that must feel so fearful, based on your previous experience. My heart goes out to you.
It can definitely be so hard when we don't know what the heck our mind and brain and the rest of our body's doing. It can feel like we're along for the ride, with little say in how that ride plays out. How our brain interacts with our nervous system, how our mind interacts with our belief systems and our fears, how our sense of self can constantly shift with sometimes no sense of grounding or solid sense of self...it can be tough to say the least. It think this is where a sense of guidance becomes key, in regard to navigating such trying parts of our path which can appear and feel so dark and stressful at times.
Personally, I relate best to people who are familiar with the landscape. What I mean by this is if life is like a landscape with hills, mountains, valleys, forests, cliff's edges and more and we are basically 'travelers', it can come as a relief to hear someone say 'I know where you're at, I've been there myself, and this is the path I took that led me beyond that point you're at'. Of course, everyone's different and what works for one person (regarding navigation) can be very different for another. I think it helps to put our feelers out there so as to get a sense of who can relate. From my own experience, what I've found to be helpful also involves gaining a sense of what knowledge I wish to gain and from what field of interest. Do I want to know how I tick mentally or psychologically? Do I want to know how I best function physically, chemically or biologically? Do simply want to gain a natural or more soulful sense of who I am and what the heck could being going on with me? Or could I be looking for the trifecta, a combination? Each to their own.
A sense of wonder can definitely go a long way. 'I wonder what's really going on with me' feels much better than the statement 'I'm broken'. 'I wonder why my nervous system's ramping up into states of hyperactivity on a fairly regular basis' can bring with it a sense of curiosity, rather than the statement 'I'm never going to get better', which can bring with it a sense of hopelessness. While it can be incredibly hard to develop an open and curious mind throughout what can feel like one of the darkest parts of our path, finding people who'll wonder with us means we're not walking it alone. And if light comes to be shed upon that path, based on the knowledge we gain, even better.
