numb

[ageofbackwards]

I have been fighting this disease for almost 10 years and I feel like I can't do it anymore.

My medication has left me numb. Brain dead. little feeling at all. I can't do anything. I spend my days sleeping. It's not a life. I don't know what to do..

Im tired of fighting.

[Fairywings]

Hello there and welcome i'm glad you have reached out to us, i'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way right now. Your not alone in this ordeal I have been fighting this disease for almost 27 years now so i hear your pain and I know and believe in you that you will get through this. I am also medicated have been for the past 17 years and yes I can empathize with the way it makes you feel. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The way out is never an answer believe me I know after multiple attempts and i'm still here to help people. I need you to keep fighting and not to give up I am now 37 years old and I haven't given up on myself, I need you to do that as well. I found keeping a journal helped me i didn't have to talk to anybody and the book couldn't answer back. Can you tell me more about yourself I would like to get you know a little better. R u remaining in touch with your doctors ?Thanks Venessa please keep in touch we are all for you to help you through this darkness you are experiencing right now.

[ageofbackwards]

I've been with this psychiatrist for just as long. Only ever helpful to write scripts and put me on medication which leaves my mind blank. No therapy or any resources to get a life together. I am fairly young.

I am going through a relapse and told him I needed more help. To no avail. Blank stares.

I found myself a counsellor recently because I need it. It helps but only ever when im in the session.

I'm just so tired. Physically and mentally. I have nothing and no reason to keep going.

[Fairywings]

Yes i can understand how the sessions make u feel like ur in and out script written and ur on ur way i get these feelings too. Thanks so much for coming back to me. I know ur tired I'm tired too but that doesn't mean i will give up on u. I'm glad you have reached out can you tell me what else is in ur life do u have any supportive people around you at all family friends? Im glad u found a counselor u can talk to outside these sessions u have us here at bb please use us whenever u feel the need to. There are online counselors to help you 24-7 hence u r never alone they r great and they will listen without judgment like myself that is what im here for. I'm a youth worker but don't work in the field anymore hence reason why I'm on these forum's is bc i miss doing the job i love and that it to help and be here for people in the same situation xx this is one of the hardest things to do is talk positively to urself i do it all the time. In have bipolar disorder and boderline personality disorder and a mood disorder so yes relapses are quite the tea for me as well but one thing I've learnt in life is that i will not let this illness take my soul. This realization won't happen overnight but most importantly isn't to lose hope within urself. I know its hard one of the hardest things is living everyday with this illness can be so debilitating at times but u need to tell ur self ur better than it. I am always here if you need to talk please don't hesitate or feel free to share things better out than in i say. I hope my response has found u some comfort. Also how often do u see ur counselor?

[PurplePriestess]

I can totally sympathize. Ive been that way for near on 20 years. I honestly don't know how or why im still here. I wish i could say it gets better, but im not a liar so i wont. Every smile is fake, forced and fleeting. No one gets it, not 'truly'. They say they do but they have no idea. It sucks. All the psychology and psychotherapy in the world cant fix a chemical in balance in the brain. They just drug you up and teach you how to 'work with it'. Pfft! You name it, ive tried it and the only thing i have learned is that it is all a total load of garbage.