Not brave enough to fix depression

[Enterprise]

Hi. I’ve been depressed for twelve years now. I’m sure some of you can relate. When it first started as a teenager, I made the mistake of talking to people about it. I was told everything from I’m lying and making it up to there’s nothing wrong with my life and I should just get over it. So I stopped talking about it. And now I don’t know how to talk about it. I think I should talk to someone. But I can’t. If I tell my family, they’ll say the same things they did before. I can’t tell a professional because if I even mention suicide they say they’ll be forced to report me to the authorities. And the authorities will tell my family. Even if my family finally accept I have depression, they won’t help me. They’ll throw me out. I probably deserve that. Maybe I should leave anyway. I don’t have anywhere to go but being homeless can’t be any worse than living a lie, right? I don’t know. Maybe someone here has lived through something similar, and you can tell me if there’s any hope.

Thank you for reading my post.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Enterprise,

Welcome to our online community. It can be very difficult reaching out for help and we appreciate you taking the time to post and share your experiences. We are sorry to hear that you have struggled with depression for so long and have been unable to speak to others about how you are feeling.

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

And if you find yourself in a situation where you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should call 000 (triple zero).

Many in our community have also been through a lot in their lives and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.

[therising]

Hi Enterprise

I'm so glad you came here. I see Sophie has already offered you some resources which I hope helps make a difference.

One of the things I recall during my years in depression was the number of people I came across who gave me the most unhelpful 'advice'. The following may sound familiar

• 'You just need to 'toughen up' and get on with things.' This one used to seriously trigger me in a number of different ways, from sadness to anger
• 'You're too sensitive'
• 'Other people have it worse. You should be grateful for the life you have'

It's a long list, so I won't go on.

By the way, 'You just need to get on with things' is in no way a management plan. It would have to be the least specific piece of 'advice' a person could give. It's actually interesting when you come to seriously question people over such advice, asking them 'How to I manage to just get on with things', their response is typically 'I don't know'. Hmmm. Some may even criticise us for asking such a highly questionable question.

I've found the best way to get on with things when we're not sure which way to go involves guidance. There are times in life where we seriously need a guide, someone to help shed some light on things. Some of the best guides are mental health professionals because, technically, they've studied the way the brain works. They went to university to study this. If what you fear is revealing the full extent of your depression, do you think you'd consider easing a mental health professional into gradually understanding how you feel. Might take a few sessions to ease them into understanding you're struggling with the very depths of depression but perhaps this is something worth considering. Perhaps you could start with 'I'm not coping very well with life right now and I need help with this'. As you gradually ease them into understanding the full extent of your struggle, they gradually ease you into understanding why the struggle exists and how you can manage that struggle or set of challenges in a number of constructive ways.

I discovered, being sensitive is not a bad thing. In fact, it gives you the ability to easily sense what's depressing. What's depressing, in my opinion, is people shutting us down when we need to open up, people putting us down when we need to feel uplifted, people keeping us down instead of raising us in thoughtful ways. It's not our fault that we can feel the feeling known as 'Down', it points to our ability to feel our way through life.

🙂

[Petal22]

Hi Enterprise,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way, I understand it would be difficult for you.

Im really sorry for how people reacted to you when you tried to talk to them about your mental health.

Im sorry you feel you can’t talk to a professional about the way you are feeling………. Anything you talk about will be kept confidential. I understand your worries but talking to a professional is the best thing you can do so you can recover.

I understand your worries because I went through a tough time in my life but I knew I couldn’t do it alone so opened up to a professional I thought they would think I was crazy but the opposite happened they understood and wanted to help me…. I’ve now recovered..

You could start at your gp and do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

There is hope for you….. HOPE equals…….. Hold on pain ends

Please seek the help you need …. 🙏

[geoff]

Hello Enterprise, thanks so much for coming to the site.

You are allowed to tell a psychologist how you are feeling or have previously felt, they will then discuss the issue with you and only if you are displaying signs that you may hurt yourself, then authorities could be contacted, other than that, the topic will be talked about and not necessarily tell your family, but won't even if you discuss the topic.

If they do decide to kick you out, that's not good at all, because depression shouldn't be suppressed, because pretending to be sad for a long time indicates that there is something wrong.

When your family can't accept your depression then perhaps you should move out, but then why should a person have to move out if they have this illness, it could just be a revolving door, people coming and going.

Geoff.