New start and new approach to this year

[HamSolo01]

The last time I made a post in these forums was in 2017. Back then I was probably in the darkest moment of my life since I can remember. I thought that I was beyond help and there was no hope for me going forward.

Here I am in 2021 and I have a job (even though I want to leave to something else), been on a couple of dates, travelled, finished my degree and also made some new friends. I guess these days my woes are different. I've spent a lot of time looking into my past and trying to see if I can get an explanation or reveal some home truths about myself and my experiences.

I have spent time in a psych ward, I've been on differing meds, I've spoken to psychologists and psychiatrists. I've spent some time with mental health charities working with them.

These days I want some new challenges and new things in life - it's hard. I have desires to get a new job and to also go back and study again.

Today has been a quiet australia day - I would've liked to have done something social but that's been hard because i have lost some friends, struggled to make new ones, but on balance I have been trying to re establish contact with other friends from the past.

I dunno what I want in life and I have more questions than answers. But I guess I am here still

I will see my psychologist soon for the first session of the year now that I have a new Mental health care plan.

I am trying to do my best and I get the feeling that it isn't enough maybe.

Yesterday I was very depressed. It's a hard time. That's all. 😕

[Guest_4643]

Hey Hams, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better, we're here for you.

"People" like that have nothing better to do, I'm sure you're a good worker even if you don't like your job.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. At least you have your Psych today to discuss this stuff, maybe they can offer some advice. Good luck with the appointment and finding other work.

[HamSolo01]

Hey Tay and all!

Yep. Agreed. Distracted myself by talking to colleague which was nice today at lunch. A good to come out of a bad. Worth something I guess. Idk. The other section I sometimes work at is hell to me. Idk what their issues is...... People even said I was doing well at work. So that's all that matters, even my manager said it.

Psych was good. Opportunity to talk things out. In a nutshell its about
taking the good with the bad. Appreciate the good. Work on whats bad.

Despite a few bad blotches today (being ignored by colleagues and the
subject of rumours) I managed to complete a job application. But also a
few laughs at work too. Thank god for that. I wasted time on a cover
letter the other day. They don't consider it for this job Typical. Oh
well. Regardless, I will get feedback.

Tomorrow I have a few things in the list to do. So will get onto those.

Lots to process

Good night all

[Guest_4643]

Sorry to hear that Hams. At least some good stuff came out of it though.

Sleep well, good night.

[HamSolo01]

Thanks tay
I'll catch you tomorrow mate
Night

[Guest_4643]

Night, hope you can get some rest xx

[HamSolo01]

Managed to get to gym. Tired now. Watching amazing race with bumbling Americans lol. And tea. Tomorrow have some things set down to do.
Still paranoid about rumours at work about me. Idk.

Good night all

[HamSolo01]

keep thinking about work and its making me feel sad.

I hate this feeling

[Guest_4643]

I'm sorry Hams. I wish you could feel respected, everyone should be, at work or not.

I hope, if you wish to get another job, you enjoy it and are respected. Best of luck.

[HamSolo01]

Yeah Tay it is a bugger of a job

The silver lining is that I don't work near those people for this month.

But next month it may change. I think my boss won't do it but he may. Idk. Its a stupid situation and I hate it.

I am glad I am only there for 3 days a week

I am okay atm. Just gotta distract myself and not think about work

[Guest_4643]

Yeah it is ridiculous, I'm sorry Hams