New here and just looking for some advice and support

[Warren2103]

Hi all, I just wanted to share how I've been feeling in the hope that I can get some advice or tips. I'm a 39 year old male and I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for which I've been seeing a psychologist, but I don't think she's really helping. I'm no expert on depression but mine pretty much feels like a constant feeling of demotivation, lack of interest and enthusiasm in everything from hobbies and interests to social outings. I'm not eating properly and I feel tired most of the time and just want to sleep or lounge around. I can barely get out of bed in the morning to work in a job that I can just put up with in a company that's been going through a restructure over the last 18 months. I'm in the middle of building a house and the uncertainty of job security is not helping. I'm being forced to apply for roles at work that I don't really want and I've started to feel worse with feelings of uselessness and hopelessness creeping in. I've recognised the majority of the way I feel is work related but I've always had a feeling of flatness anyway and a lack of goals or direction. I've spoken to friends and family but don't want to burden them too much and thought this website might be a good place to connect with others. Would appreciate any advice on how to manage this or pull myself out and get back into life again.  

[Warren2103]

Hello BB,

Thank you again for your kind support. It's been a real roller coaster since my last update. That roller coaster took me on a massive nose dive on ANZAC weekend which pretty much rendered me bed ridden for a week at my sisters not wanting to speak to anyone. I wasn't eating either as I was in a constant state of heightened anxiety which was totally debilitating with severe paranoia setting in just to top it all off. It was THE worst experience I have ever had and I literally thought I was about to snap at one point which scared the hell out of me. My first real meltdown since the anxiety appeared early this year. 

I secured a role out of the restructure which I was genuinely surprised with as I was sure they were going to get rid of me for doing such a terrible job in my last role.

Today was my first day back at work after having taken the last month off in order to recover to an acceptable level for a return work. I reckon I could have done with another month off but that may not have been good for my brain.

I've had a few Psych appointments since my nose dive and while the anxiety is not present at the intensity with which I experienced it 4 weeks ago, it's still lingering around so I'm learning to manage it through talking to friends, speaking to my psych and taking sleeping tablets which have been a great help in calming my thoughts - I've said no to Anti-Anxiety and Anti-Depressants for now and want to see if I can manage this with as little medication as possible. However with the reduction of my anxiety, I feel that my depression is more prevalent now which I've been discussing during my sessions. I always thought going to see Psych would be like the movies but they're not as probing as I thought they would be and I generally steer the conversation during our sessions anyway. It is going to be long journey for me (and others in the same boat) to move through this experience but I'm sure we'll get there. 

[July]

Hi warren,

Sorry to hear you had that set back, yes life is a roller coaster for sure and we never know when those highs and lows are going to be, but you sound like you are a strong person and its good to try and manage your illness the best way for you.

I think talking is the best medicine, we often find the answer is also in someone else so we are not alone, its just expressing those feelings can sometimes be hard, its amazing that your thoughts alone can dictate your life.

Thats great you got another job, well done,obviously you are not giving yourself enough credit and they can see your worthiness.Sometimes you need a complete break from work to get your head together, I am doing that myself at the moment, Ive been off for about 6 weeks and find I am so much more relaxed, less anxious and I feel happier in myself, so I am using my time to re -evaluate all areas in my life to reduce the stress and to find myself, and you are right it is a long journey, but we have to travel it to find peace and harmony.

You will make it through , as you have been down and are climbing back up, that is commendable, glad to hear from you, take care of yourself we are all thinking of you.

July