New and alone

[WiltingLilly]

Hi,

I'm new on here and I'm not sure how to do this all but here I go...

I have major depression and anxiety and have battled with this for many years but just recently things have gotten worse. Even though I'm going to work and look happy on the outside on the inside I'm a mess. I feel lonely, judged, misunderstood and so empty in life. Everytime I try to reach out I get rejected or attacked and I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where to turn. I have a psychiarist and GP trying balance my med and a psycologist to talk to every few months but nothing is working!!!! I don't want to feel like this anymore. I have no energy to excersise and eat well... I'm at rock bottom...what do I do?

[MsPurple]

HI WIltingLilly

welcome tot he forums. I am glad you have reached out. The first post can often be the hardest. I know it was for me

Sorry to hear you are in a rough place. Like yourself I have depression as well as GAD. I remember at rock bottom I didn't think I could get better. But I can say I am in a much better place. It did take some time. I just want to emphasis that you continue with your team. It may feel like it isn't working now but for me it started to work.

For me a few things that worked for me was being open to a few close people. My parents know and some do my close friends. I find it refreshing not trying to have a mask on all the time. I can actually talk to them (remember when you talk to friends they are not your therapist however they are really helpful to talk to). I also find meditation really helpful. It helps stop my racing mind going to bad places. I suggest giving a try. Just try if for a week at around 10 mins a day. It helps bring you to the moment. I use apps on my phone.

This is a safe space here. We are all (well mostly) in the same boat looking for a supportive environment

[Peppermintbach]

Hi WiltingLilly,

I would like to extend a second warm welcome to you to the forums. I’m glad Ms Purple has already written such a wise and caring response.

I think living with major depression and anxiety for many years would have been (and be) very difficult. Although it seems that things are particularly challenging for you at the moment. You sound like you’re on a downward spiral and feeling lonely, emotionally drained and very down.

I personally feel it was very courageous of you to try to reach out and open up. It must have been very disappointing and hurtful that your openness was met with rejection or an attack. I bet it stung...

I wonder if there’s anyone else in your offline circle (that you haven’t reached out to you) who you feel would perhaps be more supportive if you opened up. If that isn’t an option, and I realise obviously this isn’t the same as talking to a friend or family member, perhaps you could consider calling a helpline. I’ve used them before, and while they don’t replace families or friends, it did give me an outlet and a caring ear. Just my thoughts...

I hope you feel comfortable using this space to continue talking (if you wish). There are many caring people on the forums so I really hope you feel welcome here.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper