my therapist is moving away

[Giggyy]

I only just really started being able to be more open with my therapist, it's taken me a long time but I started feeling like I can talk more about what's REALLY bothering me. and I really like talking to him, it helps a lot, I have literally no one else to talk to about this stuff. I have friends but no matter how much I want to, I can't talk to them about what upsets me or anything, I don't know why - I'm absurdly closed off, and I go mute when I get upset. I'm scared now cause he's moving away, he said video calls are an option but I wouldn't have any privacy during sessions (I still live with family). I went so long just bottling everything up and fermenting in my misery and now just when I start to feel better it gets taken away. I feel like I've gotten too attached to this professional who probably doesn't really care, but I have no one else who even pretends to care, it means a lot to me - I know I'm going go back to feeling lonely and empty without at least someone to talk to 

[David35]

I would still try the video calls. It's not hard to learn Skype or zoom. You can always close off your bedroom for privacy. I would try and stick with the counselling.

[jaz28]

hi there,

i am sorry this is happening! it must be upsetting to see your therapist move away after building such a nice connection with him.

video calls might be your only option here! your therapist has his own life as well, and he needs to build on that. he isn't purposely abandoning you, and he probably feels sad to move away for you and his patients. but, remember that this is his job, and he does care, he wouldn't be a therapist if he didn't care about talking to others.

is there another therapist you could see? maybe go back to your GP and discuss referrals for different ones?

i hope things get better soon,

jaz xx

[james1]

Hey Giggyy,

Oh no, i'm so sorry to hear your therapist is moving away. It sounds like you've come to really appreciate the sessions and have found a way to use them in a really beneficial way. It must be so scary to think about what's going to happen now, and I understand it feels like you're just going to go back to feeling lonely.

Sorry if you've already said it, but I was wondering if you've had a chance to speak to your therapist about how you feel about him moving away? I imagine he would like to know the amount of distress it's causing you and want to help you through this really scary change.

[Dean07]

I can relate to your post in 2 ways. 

Telling anyone things about ourselves that we are scared will make people reject us is really scary.  I’m over 60 years old and have kept secrets about myself for most of that time. I can tell you that it’s not heathy and there never seems to be a good time to talk to anyone about it. The longer I left it the worse the secret seemed to be. I’ve been working on this recently and have spoken about some of my secrets to people in safe places. No one rejected or judged me. I felt better for getting it off my chest and wished I’d done it sooner. 

The other thing is about moving away from a good therapist I’d seen for a couple of years. Skype worked well for me but I had a private place to do the session. 
These days with mobile phones it’s possible to Skype anywhere. 
If you need an internet connection have you looked at a library?  Some have private rooms you can access the internet from. 

Whilst Skype worked for me I decided to try a local therapist. It took a couple of sessions to get to know him but it worked out great.  We tackled the same problems but he had a different way of tackling them. This was great as the new method gave me a new way of looking at things. It turned out to work better for me than the original method. You just never know.  
Good therapist will not reject or judge. 

I hope you find a way forward. 

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Giggyy,

 I just thought I’d echo above comments about Telehealth options. If you have a laptop or phone you can do the sessions at a different location for privacy. My psych is in another state but it works well. The first few sessions were just phone calls before I had a computer set up. It worked remarkably well even when we couldn’t see each other, and I even successfully processed a traumatic incident in just the second session just on the phone. So don’t lose heart as there is likely a solution. And if you prefer in-person appointments you may also find another therapist you click with, even though I know it can take time to build trust. All the best!