My parents are addicts

[goldilocks]

I am not sure with what to do anymore.

My father is an alcoholic who sometimes gambles and my mother is also an alcoholic who gambles. Their idea of spending family time together is by going to there pub to gamble and drink. This makes me (and my grandmother who realistically isn't far off of dying) sad because we both want our family to spend quality family time together, and the aforementioned reason isn't a good enough reason to do as such. Apparently, I am the reason as to why my parents drink so much, according to them. I have had some issues with someone I was interested in romantically and they have used that as an excuse to make me feel like crap about myself by saying that they need to drink because of it all. I have spoken to an alcohol and gambling related helpline about this and the lady was very kind and helpful and suggested that I am depressed. There's more that I could write, but I just can't thin straight right now.

[geoff]

Hello Goldilocks, thanks for your comment, and what your parents have said is only a reason why they can justify drinking, although it's far from satisfactory, instead they should be trying to help you, rather than go to the pub and drink while gambling their nights away.

Unfortunately, this lack of support and understanding, which then leaves you to have support your grandmother is certainly not ideal in this situation and feel very sorry for you.

Their addictions have control over what their priorities are, and not suitable to how you and your grandmother are feeling.

Has any counselling helplines been suggested to you, if you're aged up to 25 then Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 can benefit you but please when you are able to get back to us that would be great, as there is much more to talk about?

Take care.

Geoff.

[Imarni]

Please don’t accept their rubbish line your the reason they drink. I will tell you my story. Doesn’t end too well. My parents were addicts of alcohol I am now 51. At 13 my mother told me I was the reason she drank. She started when I was 8...They are now both dead from alcohol related issues. They were high functioning middle to upper classes people who fooled their friends. Do NOT accept you are to blame. They make their own choices. Move out if your able and live your own life. Try to learn not to use alcohol to cope. I started drinking during covid if never drank until then and realized my 3 drinks a week was turning to 5. I quit. Just own that as your parents should. Stay safe. Seek help if depressions creeping in. You can’t change others.

[geoff]

Hello Goldilocks, just interested to see how you are going in this awkward situation you are facing.

Geoff.

[goldilocks]

Hi Geoff,

I am doing a bit better. Mum is only drinking alcohol once a week now while unfortunately my father is still out drinking.

[goldilocks]

Hi Imarni,

I only ever drink if the football is on, however I havent been drinking at all this year.

[goldilocks]

Hi

I've had a rough night.

My father came home drunk as usual and he was goading me into assaulting him. I did not assault him, but this lead me into telling him to simply "shut up." He lost it at me and then he started arguing with mum, telling her that she's "got no family, your own brother doesn't even want anything to do with you," I can't really remember what else he gobbed on about. I wanted to call the police because this was getting out of hand and I didn't feel safe in my own home but mum abused me and told me not to call them.

[Sophie_M]

Hi goldilocks, 

That sounds like an absolutely awful night. We're sorry you had to experience that. 

We encourage you to contact 1800 RESPECT.They offer 24/7 confidential information, counselling and support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice and support to anyone who has been through trauma like this. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or visit  https://www.1800respect.org.au/

Please do continue to post as you see fit. We hope the replies of support help to lift your mood and help you feel even that little bit better. 

[geoff]

Hello Goldilocks, this must have been awful, but it's still in your rights to call the police, you don't need to say a word to your parents, but if you feel in a dangerous position then do what you need to do, you have to be kept safe in all circumstances.

Take care.

Geoff.