Hi new beginning,
Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I wanted to add my support to what some others have said - that the love you give your kids is far more important than spending money on them.
It sounds cliché, but all your kids really need is your presence and attention. Beyond the necessities, there's no evidence I'm aware of that material possessions or expensive outings make children any happier or better off in the long term. The crucial stuff that helps children flourish, you have plenty of: Support, love, communication, play - these are all free.
As for screen time, I'm no expert but I know there's an awful lot of alarmist crap in the media preying on insecure parents. I try avoid browsing the news headlines now - they're more about getting attention than actually offering useful information.
Your family may well sense your sadness (as mine does) even if you're quite good at hiding it. I'm learning that even very young children have an uncanny ability to sense sadness, stress, or tension in the home. They absorb everything and trying to hide it is futile! I'm mentioning this because you seem like a very selfless mum, and I suspect you often put your own needs last. It's hard to convince such people to commit to, and practice, self-care 😃 But perhaps if you think about it as an act of service for the benefit of your family, it might give you enough motivation to go out and get some expert help.
After your first post, you went on to acknowledge that you're very hard on yourself, the sadness your experiencing "comes in waves", and that you get these negative feelings of guilt and inadequacy regardless of whether you're working or not. This all sounds as though these feelings might not be purely caused by your situation. Perhaps there's a more 'clinical' cause that your GP and/or a psychologist could help you to identify? This was certainly the case for me. The mental health care plan the Birdy77 mentioned is really worth asking about.
Take care, and let us know how you're getting on.
All the best.
12
