My family think they are helping me by telling me that depression is the state of mind but they have no idea

[Kristy3]

Hi

I was diagnosed back in 2013 severe chronic depression along with severe anxiety and stress. I recently applied DSP because i realise i cant work and last year i had to quit my job due to my depression and anxiety. My depression has caused me to comfort eat and i have put on so much weight. I very rarely leave the house except for going to appointments and doing food shopping. My depression started in my early teens and it got worse after my mother passed away from cancer. My depression was caused by my family who always criticised everything i did nothing was ever good enough. From the age of 13 my stepfather became physically abusive not to the point of being black and blue but every time i stood up for myself after him treating me like rubbish he would hit me because i back answered him and he considers that as disrespect. My stepfather didn't treat me like a daughter and no one believed that he was treating me this way even now i would get called a liar because in everyone else's mind they all thought he was a great father who had accepted a woman who had a daughter. However it wasn't just my stepfather who treated me badly it was also my mother who told me i was an embarrassment to her because i didnt wear my hair down i had it up into a pony tail because i just gotten over gastro and i still had a bit of a temperature and i wanted my hair to be off my shoulders. Because of what i went through over the years i just kept on falling and falling and lost my self-esteem my worth always believing that i was dumb and stupid and had no intelligence. My depression is based on the hurt that i have suffered over time and there is always triggers that that causes me to relapse over and over and i all i want to do is stay in side my unit because thats where i feel the most safest. My family think they are helping me by telling me that depression is the state of mind but they have no idea. I get no support or help from my family they try to control everything i do and it makes me worse and it increases my anxiety and all i want to do is run away from them because i feel like i cant breath around them. I stumbled on to this site because it would nice to read stories from people who truly understand what you are going through.

[Birdy77]

Dear Kristy,

I am so sorry to hear about the awful treatment you received during your teenage years, and the disregard from your family now.

I am so glad you've found these forums, it is lovely in here, no judgement, lots of care and understanding people.

Please feel free to jump into other threads that take your interest, and talk more here on your thread as much as you like.

There are many caring people who understand your feelings of not wanting to leave your home, and will be able to help you with some strategies.

You are not alone.

Gentle thoughts to you,

🌻birdy

[quirkywords]

Kristy

Welcome to this forum. It is a caring, nonjudgmental and supportive place.

You have suffered a lot in your pain but my making the effort to post here you will also help others who can relate to what you have written.

It is so disappointing than the people you expect will be there for you have little understanding of what you are experiencing while at the same time are critical of you and cause you to have low self esteem.

Are you seeing a counsellor, a doctor, or a psychologist?

Do you have any hobbies or things you like to do, that you enjoy.?

Thanks again for sharing your story.

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Hi Kristy,

I too welcome you to the community here. It is very unfortunate that it appears your family do not understand depression and mental health issues very well. There is a lot of information in the resource section which may be very beneficial to yourself and also your family.

If you don't mind me asking, do you receive counselling or assistance from a psychologist or therapist?

At the moment I am reading a book about loving yourself. I've only recently started it. One thing the author mentions is that how we see ourselves manifests so much as to how we feel.

There are days when I force myself out the house for a walk or to attend things like my volunteer roles. At the time I don't want to go, but once I am there I feel better.

Even holding your head high as you walk around your home and smiling to yourself, can make a huge difference to how you feel inside.

We can't change the past, but we can change how we view the past and how it affects us negatively, we can lessen the hurt and pain experiences leave on us.

Hope this helps a little!

Cheers from Dools