My Depression and health is ruining my marriage and friendships.

[UniqueGirl]

I feel as tho I am losing control, About 4 years ago i got diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy which affected my eyes. I have lost my eye sight on my left and I am close to losing my right eye sight. I didnt know i had diabetes until all this happened to me. 

My whole world came tumbling down when I had found out, I had just gotten married and i was ready to start my life with the man I loved, but instead i have been going through hell and everything went from being good to worse. 

Because I got ill, I had to leave my job so then we had a financial strain and had to sell our home because my husbands wage could barely pay the mortgage let alone the bills and day to day expenses. 

Everything changed for me when it all happened. I became more depressed and the people i thought i could trust and be there for me where nowhere to be seen while going through this. 

I sit at home all day and some days i dont want to get out of bed. I would stay up all night and sleep all day . My husband works afternoon shift so i dont see why i should be awake while he isnt here... 

I want to get out and about but I have no one .. I have no friends and my family is a joke not to mention my husbands family. Makes it hard when the only person you talk to is your husband .. and sometimes he doesnt know how to comfort me when I am in the state of giving up on life. 

I have been suffering from depression for 20 years but the last 4 years my anxiety levels have been very high. 

I guess i wanna make some friends and perhaps that will help me to speak and have someone other than my husband to speak to and hang out with. 

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Unique Girl,

Welcome to Beyond Blue, the Bluest part of the Universe, the place where an ear is always here, the business end of mental health, the coolest responders, the hippest moderators, the cutest Moderators Cat, the life and death issues, with "give me the tissues", the main drain of human hope, the main source of comfort........and it's all waiting for you to jump right in and dig a spot while the rest of the world are busy selling tupperware or buying shower curtain rings.

Not meaning to disrespect you but you can be in pain and suffering and still maintain a kind of routine to life.  Still get up and move about the house, make a few calls, be out and about.    Can you travel or walk ?  Is it OK to do the neighbourhood hop or simply sit on a chair outside your house and heckle passers by or chat about the new house development 2 streets away that has 1,000 trucks roaring past at all hours ?

You know there are many reasons to quit - your health is appalling, your family connections diabolical and your lack of employment sorrowful.  But you are still in the game, girl.  With a devoted husband, good or bad.  You still have mobility.  You still have a cutting way with words and worrysome take on tomorrow.

Why don't you read some of the other posts and respond to a few ?   We're talking depression, anxiety, bipolar, sexual abuse, pets, why we are all in the same boat and the such.     A lot of humanity.     It's interesting that we expect people to help and understand and sometimes they are the first to do the no show and then don't return calls.  It is like you have died.    My God, someone in the world that isn't perfect with straight teeth and the ability to know every lyric of Florence and the Machine's latest CD.  Someone that actually has a brain instead of buying whatever is advertised the most.   Someone who can disrespect themselves and still have time to feel out a new-ish website like BB.

Unique Girl - you have lots to give.  Plus it's better to be Unique Girl than Eunuch Boy.  Lol.

Adios, David.

[geoff]

dear UniqueGirl, you have heaps of friends here, and when I friends it's true companionship.

Well I hope that you had a laugh at David Charles's post, I don't know he thinks of these comments, they come out of no where, and it's truly good for all of us.

The main problem that all of us, and that includes you is that 'friends', the people who we would expect to help us just disappear, fly the coup.

This is the biggest disappointment ever, and in your case and by having financial difficulties, they go, as they think that you want to empty out their savings account, crap, that's bu--------t, all you are asking for is help to take you shopping, go to the doctors, go for a walk to the park and breathe in all our polluted carbon tax.

Depression is the pits of life, and so is anxiety, and all the other illness's that just attach themselves and are dragged behind us, for 'their time of their life.'

They don't give a damn on how we feel, because they do their job and make us suffer like hell.

I would contact your local council for support who will be able to take you shopping, clean the house and their charges are minimal.

I would also contact the eye seeing dog, sorry, association who will help you in what ever way they can, and they come out to see you.

I can't tell you how much I feel for you and what has happened, and the curses of what life throws at us. Hope you can and want to reply to us. L Geoff. x