My cry for help....

Alexa1401
Community Member
This is the first time i have really done anything like this. I have never spoken to anyone about how i truly feel or whats going on inside my mind because for some reason i don't know how to explain what i feel. I haven't been able to sleep and i have never felt so lonely. I have lost all of my mates for no reason. All i do is help everyone because i know how it feels to hurt, i know how it feels to be bullied so bad you believe the fake rumours about you. I work so hard all the time and try to do peoples jobs or help so they have a good day at work and all i get is more work or staff members tell me i don't work hard enough and that because I'm a female i should make them a coffee because I'm not doing anything. Everything i used to love doing i can't get into anymore, i don't feel inspired and i am to tired to do anything. I have anxiety and depression. These past 2 years i have been so sick, first with tonsillitis so bad i was in bed for 2 weeks straight, then a bad case of glandular fever and then minor surgery. I have been so isolated that i can't connect with people anymore. I was so bubbly and happy but now I'm shy and scared to open up to people because I'm afraid they will leave me like most people have. I can't stop crying when I'm alone and i can't help but wonder if i should just leave. The only 2 people who are keeping me here are my parents. But they don't know what I'm going through because i don't want to worry them. I just don't know what to do anymore. Im so tired of feeling like i don't belong anywhere and being lonely. Ive lost who i used to be and i don't know how to become someone who loves life and enjoys the things i used to love. Someone please help me, i don't know how much longer i can do this for anymore.
9 Replies 9

Hang10
Community Member

Hi Alexa1401

Well done to you for showing kindness and helping people. That something to be always proud of Alexa. You been thru a bit. I can relate to the glandular fever. That hard to handle hey, the triedness I had it 10 years ago and still get days of extreme triedness and fatigue from it.

You got a lot on your mind and people have let you down. People can be cruel and not help in your time of need. Hope you find some new friends that can understand you and not feel alone.

Losing sleep is not good. Worry takes that away. Hope you get a chance to see a GP to help you it this tough part of your life.

Great to hear you got great parents. Try not to listen to the rumours and work can be a nightmare. Dealing with nasty people always demanding.

Hope you find something to relax. Like listen to music I find that helps me. T.V. Treat yourself to help your self esteem. Maybe hairdressers appointment, shopping. Something to put a smile on your face.

Hope it all goes ok. Be yourself. You find the right direction.

Take care.

Hang10.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Alexa, I'm sorry for what's been going on because those who are spreading gossip in person or online is not a decent or mature way to act, and seeing someone else getting bullied makes other people feel bad for you, but may not say a word to protect you, that's the problem.

You have not been well physically let alone suffering from anxiety and depression and all of this compounds on your condition, so you're caught trying to overcome all of this at once, it's physically impossible, the effort is extraordinarily difficult, and I must offer you my sympathy.

You don't have the strength to cope with any of these 'friends', and you can't help them, as much as it's so good of you to offer, you have to look after yourself, and who better than your parents.

When someone has glandular fever, all their energy has been zapped out of them, and with you, there is up and go and unfortunately, this can still go on after you feel better.

Take your time, let your parents organise your treatment, with the doctor, psychologist and/or psychiatrist, but remember we want to help you through this, and I hope you can trust us.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Star_Jasmine
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Alexa,

I noticed your title post "my cry for help" and I had to reply. You have shown a lot of courage to post here but you've taken the first step in getting some help which is great.

The beyond blue forum is a great place to get support and advice from like minded people so I encourage you to keep posting here! But I think the next step would be to get some 'real world' help too.

As a parent, I would absolutely want to know if my child was struggling so I could do everything I can to help them! So please tell your parents how you are feeling!

The other thing you could do is book a long appointment with a GP and talk about your options for counselling and/or medication.

You are not alone Alexa and things will get better! Remember that happy bubbly girl? You can be her again 🙂

Please let us know how you're doing.

Best wishes

Star Jasmine

Alexa1401
Community Member

Thank you so much for all the of the help you have offered me.

I have been able to talk to my mum about part of how am i feeling and she has tried to help me.

Thank you for showing me there is a way to seek help

Thank you for showing me that i am not alone and reading about how you're a mother and how you would feel if your children were in the same position opened my eyes up to how they would feel.

Thank you

Hello Alexa1401

I think you are amazing for not only posting with us but also having a talk to your mum too 🙂 I only wanted to thank you for being a part of the Beyond Blue forum family

This is your thread topic Alexa and you are always more than welcome to post as many times as you wish if you are stuck or wish to have a talk 🙂

Happy Christmas to you!....(and your wonderful parents too!)

Paul

Great to hear back from you Alexa, and I'm so happy to hear I was able to help you a bit 😊

You're right - it's a matter of perspective... Most parents would do anything for their kids but there has to be open communication. I hope it makes your relationship with your mum/parents stronger.

Merry Christmas Alexa!

Hello Alexa, thank you for your lovely reply, I am so pleased that you have spoken to your mum, that's really a brave decision and I hope you know that we are always here for you, so please get back to us at any time you want.

We would love to see how you are going.

Geoff.

ColinN
Community Member

Hey Alexa, you a definitely not alone here.

I too are going through some tough times. Reaching out is the best thing you can do.

Taking that first step, does not mean your weak it means your strong!

You have a great support network here, I relied on them.

I have a thread "Your not alone❤"

My journey here

I hurt a work mate with my depression, it hurts me more than you think. This is something I have to live but I am determined to make things better.