Might be in a little trouble

[Dennis38]

Ok been having an odd sort of month and on the fence here, first off I wake up fine and the day goes ok for me but then I start to get this knot in my gut, start to get anxious and very moody with out being able to see or even know what the trigger is. Normaly I know my triggers and how to avoid them but this past month has been really weird. Been very teary and I hate crying but some times I cant stop myself (comes from being a man the hating to cry thing) and really just feeling odd, especialy this whole anxious crap and there is no reason I can see. I am thinking about going back to counciling but then for a few days I am right as rain, I live in pain 24/7 so kind of use to that but this crappy weather here on the coast in NSW has been pushing the pain higher then I care for, and its doing the same to my wife. We had a great anniversier (5 years as of Friday) and today I hurt a bit more then normal (stupid weather) but emotionally I am pretty stable not sure what to do to be honest. Don't know if I want to ride this out or start to call around to see how much an appointment or four is going to cost me ( you need to find the right person to talk to, just going to the first person in the yellow pages is never a good idea).

[hamishandme]

Hi Dennis, congrats on your anniversary, that's fantastic!

sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I tend to be anxious/ teary in the mornings and I'm guessing its before my meds kick in as the later I take them the worse it is. Anyway, I'm also currently looking for a counsellor might start by looking up a few old ones. Get your GP to draw up a mental health plan so you minimise the costs. 

Wish I could follow my own advice lol!!! Three weeks ago I was feeling really great, thinking, gee, I haven't cried for about a month! Then guess what happened very stressful couple of days, plus this shocking stormy weather -tornadoes even! And it seems I've been crying constantly for the past three weeks. 

I think the weather triggers me a lot though of course I have no scientific evidence. Extremes of heat, cold, electrical storms, tornadoes, affect me deeply. Also the time of day I take my meds. And even the good stresses are still stressful.

 So maybe think about what's been stressing you. Is there something that happens in the afternoon or evening that you're not completely happy about, for example? When I had young kids I dreaded the evenings, we went to a neighbours place to have baths and pizza and all the kids used to run wild - they had a great time but although I pretended I was a fun mum  it took me ages to accept that what i really wanted was to get away somewhere peaceful. 

Could it be some simple little thing that's making you feel uneasy in the arvo?

[Jo3]

Hey Dennis

My straight to the point man!!!! LOL

Sounds like you're in a down spot at the moment.  But congratulations on your 5th wedding anniversary!!  You know I feel the same with the weather and how it affects me.  The cold weather is horrible and gloomy and dark and rainy; whereas when it;s sunny and bright you feel better.  you tend to go outside in the garden or go for a walk and your mood changes.

Maybe a visit to your GP like Hamishandme suggested is not a bad idea.

Take care, hope you feel better soon

Jo xx

[Jo3]

Hey Dennis

Haven't heard from you for a while - hope you're doing okay.  

Was just thinking of you and thought I'd write to you.

Take care.

Jo

[Dennis38]

HEy Jo and Hamish,

Sorry it's taken a bit for me to write this, been a little busy with my school, going after my third degree and this class I am in I have been having some technical problems that has not helped the mood one bit.

As for what triggers these slides I honestly have no clue what is causing these, I can be just sitting listening to some great music and boom I want to scream and rage, or scream and cry. Then other days I am great its getting to the point of annoying the hell out of me which of course plays on the emotions even more.

Last couple of days have been a bit of a downer for me and this time I KNOW I am being stupid, just tired of making plans and having them fall though because of either all the money I had went to paying the bills (which truth be told when I am in a better mood I LIKE paying the bills makes me feel useful for once) or just something else seems to get in the way. Mind you the plans are little and not earth shattering or really needed but its just life has this bad habit of fucking up any plans I set. It's getting to the point that I don't want to make any plans at all, which I think is also a factor in finding a job and making myself fill out the resumes and cv's and send them out again, just scared to death of what life might throw at me THIS time around!

Anyways enough whining will pull myself up by my boot laces and keep trying to move forward.

[geoff]

dear Dennis, when you feel like this and crying you aren't well.

I have no trouble with crying and I'm a big chap, I don't care what people think, because it shows enjoyment, sadness or depression, and this can especially happen when you are listening to lovely or sad song, and a tear comes to my eye when I love a song that I can relate to or associate somebody with.

Depression destroys all our confidence and willingness to try and achieve what we are trying to do.

Dennis, your still not well so you should continue with your counselling, and remember the medicare plan can happen on a yearly basis.

Take care mate, we are in the same boat, but more so, it's an individual by individual situation, and everybody needs their own problem to be addressed separately. Geoff.