Menopause and depression

[Guest_97367783]

Hello,

Ive never contacted or spoken to a professional about my feelings, as I’m good at masking.

Generally I have been a pretty positive person & I have a supportive husband and some family that I’m close with, however lately I’m experiencing my mood is dropping quite a lot more than it usually has.

It’s like I feel a dark cloud is over me and my overthinking isn’t helping.

I’m 51 and have had menopause for 5 years and have been on HRT for one year to help with mood. 

I hit burn out at the end of last year due to work load, so I’ve literally stopped working & had months to just potter and work from home when I can.

My motivation for most things is almost nil. 
I’m not interested in socialising much at all, I’m lacking any enthusiasm I once had & feel like the me that was so bubbly and mostly happy has faded. 
It’s such a lonely lonely feeling and im feeling quite hopeless. 

[Croix]

Dear New Member~

Welcome here to the Forum, I'm glad you came as I think you might benefit from hearing other's experiences.

I'm sad that you are experiencing burnout (yes I realise it was around 9 months ago you left) however I can say from my own expereince it left me feeling a failure wiht no confidence in myself - added to which was the grief of having the life containing my work. There was no time limit on these feelings.

I to used a mask to everyone, until I simply could not go on. While a mask presents an illusion of normality and stops awkward questions I believe using one was harmful to me in a couple of ways. It prevented going for treatment and it made me think less of myself, after all if I had to hide myself then I can't be much good.

All of this reduced my motivation to zero, I did not have faith I could carry anything though and most often could not see the point anyway.

You have the additional burden or menopause, plus the HRT and no longer enjoy life.

May I suggest you seek professional help with a view to seeing if you require metal health assistance. I am not a doctor and cannot judge things about you, though I can see some similarities with myself, it takes a professional to do that.

I would also suggest you consider telling your partner or some other family member what  is happening to you. I found it a relief not to keep pretending and found the support I received made a big difference. Is this a possibility?

I am sure with the right help your life can turn around and you can start to enjoy it again

You are always welcome here

Croix

[Guest_10305]

Hi I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way. I’m also in perimenopause (47) so I know the feeling. It’s possible your HRT dosage is too low so you could talk to your doctor about that? I have also found the Reddit memopause forums helpful for all manner of menopause and mood question and peer support.

I agree with Croix - it sounds like you need additional emotional support. You could talk to your doctor and get a mental health plan which will give you access to discounted counselling services. 
 

in my own menopause journey I’ve also also found it incredibly helpful to look to women who are older than me - 60s, 70s - and observe just relaxed and happy they are. Depression rates skyrocket during perimenopause and menopause due to our hormonal fluctuations, but they do eventually end. I think you are probably going through the hardest phase right now. Keep reminding yourself that it will end. This too shall pass.

it sounds like you’re also feeling quite lonely and isolated, which is not surprising since you are not currently working. Maybe a volunteer role would be good for you? if nothing else make sure you are getting out of the house and seeing friends and family. if they’re busy just take yourself out for a coffee with a good book, or go down to the library for a few hours and do emails and things like that. But don’t stay in the house all day that’s a recipe for depression. 

the other thing I find really helpful is getting outside every day and walking with my dog.

You are not alone in this. I’ve often felt exactly how you feel. it’s incredibly common to have low mood and no motivation during these difficult transition years. be kind to yourself and just do what you can. Rest but also prioritise gentle exercise good nutrition and intentionally connecting with others. And get yourself some professional counselling too if you can as it is so helpful during this time to have someone to listen to us who isn’t a family member. I’d recommend trying to find someone who is skilled in CBT so they can teach you good coping mechanisms.

I hope that helps wishing you all the best.

[Holt372]

Hi

I am also struggling with Perimenopause. I am part of a great group on Facebook, Menopause Australia Support group. I always go on there to ask questions and lots of people comment and it's nice to know you're not the only one feeling like this. 

The loneliness is a big part of my depression even though I try to surround myself with people. Reminding myself that it's not true and that it's just my anxiety and depression lying to me helps me a lot even if I have to remind myself constantly. It stops me from going down rabbit holes of overthinking.