Lacking direction

[anonymous175]

I have felt myself slipping for sometime now. Unfortunately this is part of the course of suffering from Bipolar. A few things have triggered this slip: relationship troubles with family members and friends, a sense of loss & being alone and lacking direction in my life. Today I feel really sad and can't seem to get out of bed even to do my beloved daily walk. I just want some respite from toxic relationships, negative feelings and some direction. Any constructive advice would be welcome.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Contradiction

I am not sure if you were able to get out of bed as yet. But please know you are not alone in just wanting to stay there. There has been many times I have chosen to hide in there. Just hide under the covers and shut the world out, because everything just seems too much.

These are some actions I have done to help myself get out of bed or just to get a break from troubled thoughts, including over thinking and/ or painful emotions.

Cry....just let it all out in the tears, whatever sadness you are feeling.

Listen to soothing music or music that you can sort of move to.

Write down how you are feeling and your thoughts ( you have already done some of that by posting here on Beyond Blue)

Think of something you really enjoy doing, and make a decision to just do it, regardless of how sad you feel. Sometimes when I have done this, it has helped.

Think of someone you love and do something for them, that you know they would like. This has helped me get my thoughts of myself.

Watch funny Youtube videos, there is heaps of funny ones that have people's pets in them.

Look around in your surroundings and see things that you are thankful for. For example... your head my be resting on a soft fluffy pillow. Really feel the softness of it under your head. (Yeah I am attached to my pillow, can you tell?)

Listen to the wind blowing outside, the birds singing outside your bedroom window.

I have also posted to other members on here as well, because sometimes it actually helps yourself. You realise others may have similar issues and struggles, it helps you focus on someone else.

I hope it was okay to share with you some of the strategies that have personally helped me.

And I hope you feel better soon.

Take care now

Shell xx

[anonymous175]

Thank you Shelley Anne for taking the time to share your thoughts and strategies with me. I certainly will try some of your suggestions. I did end up getting out of bed and also went on my walk which helped. I am still teary, but hey it is good to let it all out right? I think the hardest part is feeling so alone in dealing with my internal battles. I am pleased I have found this forum as I now see that there are people just like me trying to navigate through tough times. Again, thank you! With kind regards, Contradiction.

[MsPurple]

Hi Contradicition. I find days where the depression is kicking me in the butt horrible. I have some things I try do to get relief

-having a bubble bath

-meditation (I use calm app but I don't pay for the subscription)

-talk to my therapist, friends or family

-watch a movie

-take my dogs for a walk, or just cuddle them

I really liked Shelley suggestions. I do so many of these things. I basically try distract my mind. Sometimes I am very teary so I try do things either at home or somewhere I can wear sunnies.

It's good to just vent and talk about your feelings. You can come here and talk whenever you want.

[hayleynew]

Hi Contradiction,

It sounds like you have been doing it tough for some time and admitting you need some assistance makes you a stronger person than you realise. It takes an incredibly strong person to reach out and say, 'Hey, I'm not coping'. And, let me just tell you, it's ok to feel the way you do. I personally don't have any experience when it comes to Bipolar Disorder but have suffered from Depression for some time. The one thing I recognised was when other people started to notice I was "acting differently" and it wasn't just in my head that I had been crying endlessly for days for no apparent reason. Then, I noticed it. I suffer from it in bouts and like Bipolar, it is certainly circumstantial whereby, something fuels the fire and blows everything up.

Absolutely, let it out! Do you currently see a psychologist or counsellor? If not, would this be something you would look into? Perhaps a mental health clinician that specialises in Depressive Disorders so you get the best possible treatment and advice about your condition. I am heavily into Mindfulness; breathing exercises, not focusing on the past and focusing on what is right in front of you, embracing the present, meditation. This might help you. Are you currently taking medication for your Bipolar or have you considered this as an option?

A few non-medical things you could do to help; Go for a walk, sing in the shower (and cry- it actually helps!), yell as loud as you can at nothing (maybe in a par with no one around or somewhere you know it will echo), keep a journal of how you feel, when you felt like that and why you felt like that and exercise (I often find ging to the gym and smashing it out redirects my focus into something more positive especially hen I have absolutely no motivation to go to the gym and end up feeling amazing!).

Hope this helps and good luck,

hayleynew

[anonymous175]

Hi Ms. Purple. Thank you for also sharing with me. I love your suggestions: I haven't had a bubble bath in years. Just the thought of it has made me smile which I haven't done in a lonnnnnnnng time. I am sorry to hear that you too have blue days. By the sounds of it, you manage them well. Take care, Contracdiction.

[anonymous175]

Hi Hayleynew. Thank you also for posting. I am sorry to hear that you suffer from bouts of depression too. Not the nicest of things to go through. I was diagnosed years ago with Bipolar and am currently seeing a good Psych. I am also on the correct medication. Unfortunately, I live miles away from adequate mental health care which makes it hard to just tap in on a whim. Likewise when it comes to gym and yoga classes. Such a bummer as I find that attending these types of classes helpful. Doing meditation, yoga and the alike just doesn't cut it for me at home. I do love walking. It really helps me get out of my head. However, even strategies like this sometimes don't work and I am left feeling horrible. I am now going to make a list of things I can also do to distract myself thanks to everyones' suggestions. Again, thank you! With kind regards, Contradiction.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Contradiction,

Oh I like you profile picture there with the beautiful butterflies. It is almost saying to me... "there you go, you have been bottled and trapped for so long in here, I release you now. You are free" And away they flutter, enjoying the experience of there wings being able to move and the fresh clean air....very beautiful.

I am happy for you that you were able to walk yesterday. Good on you! I do that too, and yeah it can help. Where do you go walking, like just along the roads, a park? And the bubble bath does sound cool doesn't it?

Relationship troubles can be so painful in one's own heart, that is one of the things in my life that seems to bring on the deep sadness. Maybe that is a bit like you? If yes, I am so sorry, I hate the thought of you hurting . I know I don't know you really, but I still care about you. Are you able to talk about these deep things with anyone, like the psychologist?

The list that you are writing sounds like good idea. I don't know.... but when we are feeling that alone feeling and when we feel like we are in the darkness, it can be a challenge to see much else. Good on you for writing one!

Hope you don't mind if I send you a hug?

Bye now

Shell xx

[anonymous175]

Hi Shelly Anne. I so wish I was set free at the moment. At least I can look at my profile pic and live in hope. I am requesting that my display name be changed as Contradiction is a bit abstract. Yes, relationships cause me grief. I give and get rubbish in return. I seem to attract the same types unfortunately. My family are very harsh on me and two-faced. I really don't like them. I would happily have nothing to do with them but have children to think about. My boys love their extended family and I would not want to take that away from them. It's also hard to let go of toxic friends as I live in a small country town whereby you can't just cut people off. I talk to my GP when things get really bad. Plus my husband. I walk 7km a day along our laneways- we live on a large property. I hope I have responded to all that you have written as I can't see your latest comment as I type. With kind regards, Contracdiction.

[blondguy]

Hello Contradiction

Shelley MsPurple and Hayleynew have given excellent support and advice above

Great to have you on the forums and thankyou for having the strength to post too!

I felt like I was reading my own background when I read your post. I have had acute anxiety followed by depression since 1983. I understand where you are coming from.

The bulk of my anxiety has gone and now working on the depression....I have a legend of a GP and counselor who help me with a 'tune up' when I need one.

You probably wont appreciate this but after 35 years of some of the best therapy available, I had to learn the hard way by avoiding any toxic and overly critical people in my life so I had a chance to heal and re-build.

My dad was one of them unfortunately. The continual criticism and put downs were preventing me from healing so I had to stop contact for 4 years. It was the best I felt in years. (I hope that makes some sense)

Your children are a priority of course and good on you, but if the toxic people in your life damage your well being it will be reflected through to your boys. You are a kind and caring mum by keeping the visits amicable between your boys and your family.

I was born in a small country town called Cooma...I understand.]

Your screen name is fine but I was a dill and let mine go on without changing it...I joined in January this year after spending Christmas alone and being made redundant at the same time.

Your health and well being is paramount as it provides a better foundation so you can not only enjoy your own life but can be a there effectively for your boys of course

Your ability to vent and express your pain is a credit to you Contra...good on you!

You are not alone here

My kindest thoughts for you

Paulx