Just need someone to talk to, im so alone

[dat_br0_fr0]

Hi guys, name's Josh. I'm 25 years old, a boxer and a trades assistant (CNC machining) and have been going through a hellish period of my life. I have Bipolar Disorder (1) I'm medicated, on 3 types of medications! can you believe that? and I'm just going through the darkest period, have been for nearly all my life. Been like this for a week now, just crying constantly and sleeping all day (well it comes in moods and things that trigger me to be like this). I have a son, Hayden, he is the most gorgeous lil man you'll ever see, he is 2. Lil' blue eyes and blonde hair looks like his pappy, and a terror! Problem is, im fighting for my access to him in the family courts.. My (well no ex partner) left me, found someone else right quick. During the Dispute Resolution conference that happened recently, my ex had said her partner was there being the '' father figure '' for my son ever since he was 5 months old and bestows the title of '' step father '' she isnt even married. I missed out on my sons best milestones (any first time father will want to experience) I missed him walking and talking. Somedays, I just cant take it. I'm crying as i type this and im so sorry, i just want someone to talk to.

The courts are favoring the mother, I see my son very rarely. My lawyer has my pychs letter saying what I have and the medications im on is it true that the magistrate will use this against me?, but he knows im dad! thats great I do skype calls with him I just lose it when he says '' bye daddy '' I go, trying to hold the tears '' Bye little guy, i love you so much '', but I'm just so angry! I cant swear here but the frustration, my disorder.. Someone help me please? I need someone to talk to 😞

Josh

[Aaronsis]

Hi Josh

Despite the tears and the pain you have been able to communicate and reach out to us here. I am so beyond sorry for what you are going through, I have no idea what that must be like and my heart breaks for you. I am divorced and my children are 13 and 16. It is fine now..however it was hard at the start, to have to say good bye each week, to hand them over, to essentially render all responsibility over to their dad for a week. Their father is no problem but I just felt like I was abandoning them. So I know somewhat of your pain.

I am so happy that you are able to Skype and to keep in contact with your son, while it is far from the physical contact and spending time with him that you would love, it is at least a form of contact for you both and this is wonderful.

I am no therapist but i want to offer you something to think about that might help. See..already your son knows that you are daddy...he knows...so if your ex wants to bring this "other man" in and have him be called "step dad", or "pink elephant" that is fine..let her. I know that it is hard to hear and to have another man have the moments you should be having, BUT..let the title go...this is something that is not worth your tears and your energy.

Your little boy knows who his father is and this bond, even if it is only over Skype at the moment is precious and will continue to grow.

We are here for you, to chat with you, to sit with you as you process this time and try to do the best to make the best version of you. Use this time making the best version of you, doing what you need to do to present to the court the best version of you. To show them you are capable, which you are, to show them that this child is not in any harm or compromised care with you, which he is not.

There are so many people who suffer mental health issues Josh, so many and I think the court will see that you are seeing a professional, you are taking medications and you are doing what you can to manage this condition. This I feel will go to support your case that you are in control of your life and are making good choices.

Also I wanted to say that it is fine to cry, to get the emotion out, to be free of the pain. Then you can get up and go for a walk, engage in something that makes you feel good. Give yourself some time to feel goodness, you deserve it Josh.

I am really proud of you for reaching out here and talking, sharing and letting this out.

Hope to chat some more, you are braver than you know.

Hugs

Sarah

[dat_br0_fr0]

Hi Sarah, you are the best 🙂

your comments have filled me with joy 🙂

[peacock]

Hi Josh, you are so brave to reach out and share your feelings. Sounds like you have been going through a really tough time. It’s good that you are fighting for your right to see your son. Never give up on that because children always work out the truth as they grow older and your bond with your son will always be there. I’m sorry you are going through all this but know that you can reach out anytime. It’s important that you continue to see your psych and take your meds. I’m struggling at the moment wi5h waiting for increased meds to kick in. Please keep in touch and hang in there as things will improve eventually

[Aaronsis]

I am really pleased to hear that Josh.

As I said, Hayden knows who you are, now it is time for you to regain who you are. Take this on as a way to make improvements to your life so that you can give your little man the best daddy there is.

Here for you anytime.

Sarah