Just looking for some advice

[Guest_13075688]

Hi all, 

Just curious as to what I should do. For a few years I believe I haven't felt properly energetic towards anything. Early years of highschool I was pretty emotional, self-harmed a few times and pretty pathetically attempted suicide, but then moved on from that when I got a girlfriend as she supported me through whatever I was dealing with. For years now I believe I haven't felt proper emotional responses towards things, and time kinda just passes on. I still enjoy doing things and in the moment I feel, but it passes really quickly and my memory of everything diminishes. My girlfriend is really understanding but it can get pretty annoying when I am constantly forgetting things. The reason I am writing on this discussion board is because today my great grandad passed away after 100 years of life, and my family was upset and we all hugged, but I simply wasn't able to produce any sort of emotional response as everyone else was crying. It made me realise I should probably look into it further because I have known I struggle with empathy and emotional responses for years. After some light research I am curious as to whether suppressing my responses growing up has anything to do with why I feel so numb now. I know that when confronted with something I would always breakdown in highschool and at home. At home I forced myself to suppress everything and not breakdown so that the moment would pass quicker and my parents would send me off to bed. So my question is, is it possible to teach yourself to suppress emotions and not express anything? Will this lead to a lack of empathy for people? Even as I write this I feel like letting something out but I am telling myself not to because it's a waste of time. I believe I do not have time to waste on figuring this out, but I would also love some closure on why I lack emotion. If anyone has some good knowledge to share on this please do. Thankyou in advance.

[TrueSeeker]

Hello

I do believe that we can lock out our emotions especially when we had traumatic or emotionally charged childhood. It can be very hard to start facing our emotions again as all the pain can come crushing on us so we we need to learn how to do it safe way. I think that if you're functioning well, it's fine. It's completely up to you to decide which way you want to go about it, I wouldn't let anyone or anything influence your decision.

Please take care

[Ggrand]

Dear Guest,

A very warm welcome to the forums…

I can relate to suppressed emotions….Growing up in an abusive family and married into DV…I learnt very quickly to suppress my anger…as me showing anger had dire consequences….Today even after 13 years after my husband passed away I still find it near impossible to get angry…so in my opinion only, yes emotions can be suppressed….

Everyone experiences grief differently…and also in their own time…maybe and I’m pretty certain you did/do, feel a deep sadness for the loss of your beautiful grandfather…. unable to show your sadness is okay…you don’t need to show what you feel deep in your soul….maybe in a few days, weeks or even months your grief might show itself in a physical form..ie:- crying…..even if it doesn’t,  your outer body not showing the effects of emotion physical grief is okay….everyone grieves differently….

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your Grandfather, my condolences to you and your family and friends….may he RIP….in the arms of God…

My kindest thoughts with a gentle caring hug….( if that’s okay)..

Grandy..