Job depression & Scared of my future

[emma_tucker]

Hi everyone

I never thought I’d be here posting but here I am. I’m a 26 year old female who has generally always been a happy person. I’ve started feeling the struggles of life over the past 12 months. Started when I hit 25, instantly negative thoughts of 25 and have no partner which makes me think no kids then no future. I’m sick of hearing “you’re still so young” from people who are married starring their own families. I’m last of my friends to get married and I feel like I’ve lost a lot of friends ships due to this coming of age.

I currently work in childcare which I dread I absolutely loathe getting up every morning, it’s so stressful for the income I receive, I still live with my parents because I cannot afford to move out. I recently started this job at a new centre hoping to get a new insight of the industry and this isn’t the case. I feel so stuck in my life and I am not happy, I’m always snappy, I don’t get enjoyment out of anything anymore I feel like my friends all have what I want and it kills me seeing them being so happy while I’m here feeling alone and isolated thinking I’ll never have a family of my own.

I want a new career but I have no experience in anything else and at this time of the year it’s hard to find a full time job, I’m really just looking for someone who has been in this situation and can give me some insight of why I’m feeling this way, I have no enjoyment for life anymore and no fear of consequences.

please help me

[baet123]

Hey Emma,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your situation with us. These forums are a loving, caring and non-judgmental place where we are all here to support each other through the good times and the bad. You have definitely come to the right place!

Sorry to hear your struggling at present and I think many of us can relate to some of what your experiencing. Everyone has the right to be happy and life the life that one wishes to live and you are no different. I can tell that your extremely strong, caring, intelligent and resilient and these are amazing qualities you possess.

You mention that you are 25, have no partner and your living at home (it is so expensive to move out right?). That is the boat I am in, however, unlike you, I am not ready to settle down as I only recently got my life back on track. I believe that your concerns are absolutely genuine, however, their are also so many good things about not having a partner and being tied down so these are just a few things to consider. My sister was in the same boat a few years back and two years later, she is not engaged and she is getting married next year so things can happen and develop quickly and you never know, your soulmate could be just around the corner? It is fairly Cliche but it is true.

You mention that you are not enjoying your work in childcare at present. To be honest, nothing in this world is worth sacrificing your own mental health, emotional well-being and overall quality of life. If your work is impacting your quality of life, which it seems like it is, then it may be time to reassess your situation. Much easier said than does as we need money to live and the like but our well-being is so important!

It seems to me that you are suffering from depression and I would consider consulting your GP. When your emotional well-being is impacting your quality of life, professional intervention is necessary. Medication in combination with therapy could be extremely beneficial to your condition and this is something you should consider. You don't deserve to feel the way your feeling at present and medication will help your chemical imbalance and should have you feeling better and will improve your overall outlook on life.

Better days are ahead. Stay strong and positive and things will get better. Please consider seeing your GP and discussing treatment/intervention options.

Hope this helps.

All the best and look forward to hearing back from you.

Nick.

[GardenGnome]

Hi Emma

many years ago I was similar to you. Without a partner with my friends getting married and I was working with children. I was also living at home with my parents. I also felt unhappy with the situation I was in.

Over the years I managed to change my employment and also meet someone. It didnt happen overnight. I set my self some goals and sought help from career counsellors to get a change of career.

In regards to meeting a partner I didnt focus on it but focused on myself instead. I engaged in social activities and groups where I meet lots of new people and gained new friends. Through one of my new friends I meet my current partner.

It can be really hard to sit and watch other people achieve what you want but there are many ways to achieve what you want maybe get some support from outside your usual support system to look at new ways to get there.