It's like I've felt every possible emotion that I'm ever going to feel

[Anchor25]

I'm 32. I don't feel like I have anything to live for. My life is a waste. I have no purpose or great talents. And every day everything just seems hard.

I' m done. It's like I've felt every possible emotion that I'm ever going to feel, I've travelled lots, I've been in love, I've had a good career and now... I'm just done. I don't want to get out of bed most mornings, even on weekends.

I've always been a loner and I'm okay with that. I have only a few close friends and only one best friend who really understands me. I've never been close to my family. I see my brother and his family once a year at Christmas. I visit my parents maybe 4 times a year. We just don't have anything in common and it seems like a pointless exercise to even try to build a relationship there. And they don't want to either. I don't trust people. I don't really like people that much. Meeting new people and making small talk is a huge effort.

I'm a negative, pessimistic person. I have read a lot of self help books, tried affirmations, self esteem courses, gratitude diaries etc. None of it works. I feel bleak about the future. I don't see what I have to look forward to except more of the same struggle. I feel like I am failing at life. I don't like myself - the way i feel and the way i can't dig myself out of this hole makes me feel like more of a loser. Intellectually, I know I need to think positive and maybe I should be working harder on this, but it's just another thing I'm obviously not that good at.

My job bores me. I'm a well paid marketing manager. Things are changing at work and I often feel undermined and like I have to fight for my position. I have talked to my boss but he doesn't seem to get it. I feel like I can't quit or change careers because I need the money. How can you start a new career at the age of 32 anyway? Working in the corporate world is just all so fake. People would think I am nuts to quit. The thought of working in an office job for the next 30 years is just ridiculous. Is this

what the point of life is?

I've never really struggled to find dates or boyfriends. I have been seeing someone who i believe is m soulmate (what he believe is another story - and it's a long one) on and off for 10 years and when I finally told him how I really felt about life I don't think he could handle it and we haven't seen each other for weeks now. It's complicated.

Have been on antidepressants for the last 6 months.

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[MrsCam]

it sucks to feel so low, I know I was the same just a few days ago but if you continue with your medication, and maybe a review with your gp would be a good idea, then hopefully you will feel better soon

take care

[Hayley]

Dear Anchor25,

I read your post and I can hear from what your saying that you could well be feeling totally overwhelmed there has been many a times I have too felt like this had similar thoughts it is hard and painful.

 It really sounds like your having a hard time in terms of feeling like you have nothing to live for the negative feelings your experiencing. These thoughts and feelings can blanket together and we can feel this way about everything and not know where to start. One thing I realised as sucky as I felt I knew the way I was feeling was trying to tell me something and your doing a great job listening to how your feeling and how its impacting on your life. At times like this I have found I needed a little help, support from someone, anyone who understands. If you are feeling safe do what you can to get through the moment even if you have to take things minute by minute self soothe or distract yourself till such time you can make an appointment and see someone whether it be your psychologist, GP, psychiatrist. I know for me at times like this I can feel totally alone picking up the phone and calling a helpline to have someone listen and to help me get through has been really helpful too

Please let us know how you get on. Take Care

[--Danny--]

Hey Anchor25, I wish u all the best...maybe that isn't the right medication for u? What about speaking with your GP & discuss with him..let him know the medication you're on is ineffective..he might be able to change it up for u?

Danny

[AGrace]

Hi anchor,

Im 34 and reading your post reminded me of just how I felt toward the end of last year. Im not much of a social butterfly, so I dont really have close friends. I was working in a fast paced role within the cosmetics industry. Everyone thought I had such a glamorous life and yet I used the proffession to mask what was going on inside. The company I worked for underwent a number of changes and I started to second guess my abilities and worth. I had spent 20 years in numerous relationships, surviving on the sense of feeling wanted.

I cant say there was one overnight fix for it all, but the first step was reaching out for help. Youve already done something truly remarkable by reaching out to the people on these forums and sharing where you're at. Im still in the process of getting better, and finding meaning and purpose in my life but I can now see beyond the shadows a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel.

Even if you cant see it right now, theres definitely a greater purpose to life than spending 30 years behind a computer feeling miserable. I know its difficult to imagine but there is a treatment out there that will work for you. For me its been a culmination of many thing and I hope by sharing these it might give you an idea of what steps you can take, that feel right for you in aid of regaining a sense of hope and getting closer to some form of recovery from your current state.

See a GP, express your concerns and ask for a referral to get some further professional help

I sought the help of a psychiatrist and psychologist to get help with medications and to have someone who I could share things with who wasnt going to up and leave when the going got tough

I trialled numerous medications until I found the right type and dosage for me

Ive used numerous coping strategies in order to cope with heightened emotions, a lot of these a psychologist can help you with and in the interim you might wish to google them, theres also quite a bit on youtube

Distress Tolerance, Self Soothing, Mindfulness, Meditation, Yoga, Mood diaries

I hope you find some of this helpful

AGrace