I was feeling suicidal told boyfriend and he broke up with me

Guest_920 · ‎23-03-2022

I had a night of feeling angry as I was coming off an anti depressant, drinking and Waa at his place alone. I thought he would of texted what time he would be back he didn't and came in at 2am after a bux party. I wasn't annoyed at the time just that he didn't tell me, I was feeling so emotional and disclosed how I felt. I thought we sorted it out he was physical with me and then few days after with silent treatment broke up with me. I feel devastated and so guilty for how I was. I just can't get the guilt out of my mind and how I have ruined another relationship in exactly the same way.

Sophie_M · ‎23-03-2022

Hey Guest_920,

Thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult time, and we can hear instability in relationships is really having an impact on how you’re feeling day-to-day.

We’re sorry to hear you couldn’t talk through these feelings of suicide with your boyfriend – that must have felt incredibly isolating. Is there anyone other than your boyfriend that you feel able to discuss this with? It sounds like you could really do with a discussion with someone who is able to be a bit more supportive.

We’re reaching out to you privately to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d really encourage you to give our counsellors a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service. We are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636, and the team are really good at talking people through moments like this and working out options for more support. There’s also our friends over at the Suicide Call Back service on 1300 659 467, or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

It’s really important that you are kind to yourself and keep yourself safe. Please remember that if you feel unsafe the number to call is 000. It also sounds like the Beyond Now suicide safety planning app may be a helpful resource to you. You can read about how it works and where to download it here. You can even call Lifeline and compete it together with one of their counsellors over the phone.

We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

Guest_920 · ‎23-03-2022

Thanks so much Sophie, I feel very devastated and honestly so guilty

Ggrand · ‎23-03-2022

Hello Dear Guest...

Im really sorry that this happened to you...

A lot of the times people who don’t understand depression and SI...get really scared, and don’t understand how to deal with it....but getting physical and giving you the silent treatment is so not right..

Getting physical with you is a criminal offence....It is not at all acceptable, you don’t deserve to be treated that way at all....I know both the physical and the silent treatment from my late husband...and both are so very wrong....my late husband would completely ignore me for months...it made me feel so insignificant, invisible, soulless, like I was nothing...'This behaviour towards you..is him showing you his true self and if the relationship continued with him...he would more then likely continue this behaviour.....and honesty lovely Guest, you don’t want to live your life like that.....You deserve respect, love, care and understanding from any bf you have...

I know it’s hurting you, your bf breaking up with you...and I’m really sorry....I really hope that in time, you will heal from this break up....and find a loving and caring bf..

Be gentle on yourself..you have nothing to feel guilty about at all....you done nothing wrong...on the other hand..your bf should be feeling guilty for the way he treated you, when you disclosed your inner most feeling to him and were so vulnerable....

I hope that your devastated feelings ease off for you...He sounds like he isn’t their for you 100%...like he should have been...

My kindest thoughts with my care lovely Guest..

Grandy..

Guest_920 · ‎24-03-2022

Thanks Grandy for your reply, sorry when I meant physical I meant intimacy.