I need help but don't want to talk to anybody

[Unknown76]

I feel empty, like there is nothing in life anymore. I go to work at a place i hate with a passion and then go home and sleep all the time.

Yeah i know i have to talk to a profession or anybody but i over that, enough I don't want to do that and if thats what somebody is going tomtell me to do then this is no help.

I can't breath anymore, medication not working nothing is working.

[Puppies]

Hi there,

Therapy is often the best option but it depends on the person. If the medication isn't working then there are always other medications you could try.

This is a good site to be on though because there are posts you will definitely be able to relate to and people you can discuss experiences with.

I hope things turn around for you

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Unknown,

I am sorry to hear you're feeling so low. Going to a job you hate each day wears you down after a while doesn't it.

Sleeping all the time can be a sign that you have gone past just feeling low. It can be a sign of depression. Have you been diagnosed before? It sounds like you have been on, or ate on, meds of some sort, are they antidepressants?

There are many types and sometimes it takes a few tries for the GP to find the right one. It is also possible for meds to stop being effective after being on them for some time.

Are you in a position to look for a different job?

A few other ideas that could help depending on how you're feeling can be; walking or getting some exercise can help with energy levels and stop you feeling sleepy. Looking up some information on mindfulness on the web and see if that helps. If you type Palouse Mindfulness into the web you will find a site my psych recommended - all free.

I also find that having something outside of work that I like doing can help. Do you have any hobbies or interests?

I have been a bit general with my response but if you give some more detail perhaps we can talk through it.

Kind thoughts,

Carol

[Doolhof]

Hi Unknown,

Welcome to the community here at Beyond Blue. So many people here will have experienced the same or something very similar to how you are feeling right now.

Okay, so at present you don't feel like talking to professionals about how you are feeling, hopefully by sharing your thoughts and feelings here, you can relive some of the depression you are feeling.

If you are interested, there is a lot of information available from Beyond Blue that you could read relating to depression and how to help yourself.

There is a phone help line as well you could use if you are so depressed you don't know what to do. I have used them a few times. The people answering the phone are friendly and helpful, willing to listen and offer advice if you want it.

On this forum there are "happy and relaxed" threads as well under the Social Zone section. You might like to join in with some of the more light hearted threads like the BB Cafe maybe, which is a virtual cafe where people pop in and say gooday.

As Carol mentioned, there are many things we can each do to try and help ourselves through depression.

How would you like us to help you?

Do you want ideas on how to cope with depression?

Or do you want to share how you are feeling and hopefully release some of the frustration you are experiencing?

For me, I know that sometimes I don't know what will help me or what I want! I understand that as well.

Hope some of this helps.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[JessF]

Hello Unknown76, you sound very tired and fed up. This is what depression does to us. It's horrible, it makes you angry, it drains you, it makes you feel empty as you do.

I'm not going to suggest to talk to somebody right at the moment, other than saying that one of the other things depression does is make us work against our own best interests. For example, exercise has been proven to work to help depression, but when we are depressed the last thing we want to do is move! Not eating well will make us feel bad, but depression drains our motivation to make meals, or sometimes eat at all. Recognising that not everything your brain is telling you is the truth I have found is a good place to start when feeling very low.

I hope you'll come back and talk with us more as Carol has suggested. You say you have tried everything, perhaps you might like to tell us a bit more about what's going on for you at the moment and what things you have been trying so we can work out some ideas together.

[Unknown76]

Thank you all for the posts I really appreciate it.

I have been on meds since Feb, were they helping? I don't know but live was just borderline bearable but about a month ago i started deteriorating again. I get these small energy boosts here and there to do something i enjoy but they are short lived and sometimes I don't even see through what i start.

I should have had a follow-up appointment with my Doc 2-3 weeks ago but didn't go. I'm tired of telling them its not working and then being told the obvious. Excersise, eat healthy and so on, i know that will help but I can't be bothered doing it. I know what can help the issue is there is no energy to do it. Its as if im under water i need to breath but I can't get my head above to breath. I know i need to breath its no help telling me to put my head above water.

One other thing that really gets me is when greated and then the question is asked "How are you?" its all in good intentions but just inside me thinking about my answer "I'm good thanks" drives me crazy as I'm NOT good or if you answer "I'm alright thank you" then you might get the reaction "Only alright?" then what do you say?

I don't know everything is so confusing, they slightest thing can get to me and then i'll over analyse it.

[Seth]

My heart goes out to you. I know that doesn't help.

To say you're not alone is a massive understatement. Depending on what "expert" you listen to we are in the midst of epidemic or pandemic.

There are passive things you can do.

>>>Get your vitamin D levels up

1. lay in the sun or get a good supplement
2. one study showed low levels of D--11 times better chance of depression - American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry December 2006; 14(12): 1032-1040

>>>Fantastic findings on neuroplasticity front

Literally: "the brain takes the shape the mind rests upon"

"There’s a traditional saying that the mind takes the shape it rests upon; the modern update is that the brain takes the shape the mind rests upon. For instance, if you regularly rest your mind upon worries, self criticism, and anger, then your brain will gradually take that shape – will develop neural structures and dynamics of anxiety, low sense of worth, and prickly reactivity to others. On the other hand, if you regularly rest your mind upon, for example noticing you’re all right right now, seeing the good in yourself and letting go…then your brain will gradually take the shape of calm strength, self confidence, and inner peace." --Rick Hansen, PhD

>>>You mentioned diet

Gear up! Cowboy up! Fight for it. 

You don't have to be perfect, start by eating things that will make your gut feel it's best.

>>>You don't want to exercise but what if it was the most powerful medicine on earth for depression!

Take your medicine (exercise) if you can! 30 minutes of walking 3 times per week has been shown to work wonders.

>>>Depression causes stress, stress causes depression. It is a vicious spiral down. Stop should's, could's, ought to's  exercise; find some stress relief method

FIGHT FOR A GOOD LIFE

[geoff]

hi Unknown, they do suggest exercise but when my psychologist kept on telling me that I said 'how can I do any exercise when I don't even feel like doing it', some people are able to do this while other people like you or me can not get the energy to do.
We often have a solution but because our mind is not positive we are unable to do it, this is something that continually went through my mind, but there was no spark to get me going, even after other suggestions my psychologist had mentioned to me, sure while I was with her I said I'll try but as soon as I left that all went out the window.
You say 'analyse it', doesn't that happen all the time but it just confusing what our intentions are, and that's why you don't do anything, and when someone asks you how you are, be honest to yourself and tell them you're feeling s******e, there is no reason why you have to hide it, tell them straight out how you feel, because if you disguise your feelings then you won't be able to start a recovery for yourself. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear Unknown

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I see some of the wonderful people at BB have talked about their experiences and offered you support. Welcome to the family.

All the things you have described indicate depression, a place we have all been to and now and then drop in, albeit reluctantly. It's a place where the Black Dog does what it likes and makes your life a misery. I have found that looking at my depression as this dog is quite helpful. Like most dogs it is friendly and wants to lick you to death while trying to get up on your lap. What it needs is dog obedience lessons.

Do you think it would help if you saw your depression as a dog? Teaching it to walk to heel will not remove it from your life but will help to start your journey. I imagine my dog jumping around in front of me and barking its head off to get my attention. I call the dog over to me and give it a cuddle and say I want you to walk behind me today. I bet that sounds silly to you, but it works. In some ways we need to embrace our depression and makes friends with it, instead of fighting.

Jess has commented on how depression makes us work against our best interests and this is so true. We believe anything bad about us is correct because our brains tell us so. So make your depression a dog, one you want to make friends with, one you are going to train to walk at heel.

Unknown, you have all our support because we have been there and know that place. Let us hold your hand and help you to leave that place. As Jess and Mrs Dools have said, tell us bit more about yourself and what you would like from us.

Mary

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Unknown,

It sounds to me like you need a new GP. I struggled to get out of bed on my worst days. Other days I couldn't even move from my chair to go and eat. The meds were a life saver for me but it took a while to get sorted as I had bad side effects to the first one. Once they worked though, all those feelings changed and it was easier to get up. I felt less heavy, less foggy and a lot less despondent. I don't think I could have pulled myself out of that dark place without the meds.

I too got sick of people asking how I was. Even now I use the phrase "I'm getting there". I had friends suggesting walks, sitting in the sun, doing "happy" things....none of which I could do early on. This is why I had mentioned to you the advice very much depends on where you are right now.

While I was lucky with my GP, I suffer from chronic pain and I had to sack my neurologist and physiotherapist and getting new ones was the best thing I could have done. I wonder if you'd have more success with a new GP. It doesn't sound right that the GP is suggesting exercise etc as a response to no change from the meds and when you feel the way you do.

Kind thoughts,

Carol